Text game critique

[Guest]

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[Guest]

The crazy thing is you can get girls to go back and forth on text. Girls love to text. But when it comes time to asking them out they just go shy all the sudden.

Are you mirroring her text times? Meaning if she takes 5 minutes to respond you take at least 5 minutes to respond?

She doesn't want to talk on the phone because that is actually investing something into this in her mind. Text is no big deal. Or she just isn't witty on the phone and is worried it won't be fun.

You were trying to escalate the conversation into a sexual frame but she never bit. Typically not a good sign...or you actually found a good girl...RARE.

I would at least give it another go around via text.

[Guest]

Yeah, as long as she remains responsive I think you continue to text. I remember once it took me almost 2 months to f-close a chick. I had to do it all via text and there were at least a week or two in there in which we didn't talk at all.

Mirroring her response time is just as crucial as what you say. I always make sure I keep them waiting to hear back from me...always. It works like a charm. I know there are a ton of guys out there that can second this...

[Guest]

Yeah, I definately mirror her response time. I do this in every case. I find I do pretty well going sexual in person but it doesn't come across as well over text. Oh well, I'll keep experimenting.

[Guest]

My only problem is the fact that you responded so much. It portrays needyness.

When 3 words can work for 10, use 3. Keep her guessing.

"Me: Haha wow, I’m impressed that was good! Behind all that nerdiness and shyness there might be a cool girl. Don’t forget a calc book and a pocket protector ;)"

I pick this out because it stands out.
1) It seems as though you are begging for her to notice that you are complimenting her.
2) It is long. Cut out the nerdiness/shyness phrase. Instead, say "Wow, im impressed. Don't forget..."
3) You can joke her on being a nerd, but at some point,you have to back off that. I will text for a max of 2 days before straight up letting this girl know whats up.

Good luck.

[Guest]

I just reread this and a couple of things jumped out at me:

-I noticed that you talked about yourself just a little bit too much. Like when you said you have to be good at reading people for your job, that wasn't necessary. I generally don't ever talk about myself via text, unless its playful.
-A couple of times you responded to her texts in a normal fashion. The one that sticks out is when she wished you luck on your presentation. You thanked her, then told her it was funny. It was funny, but don't tell her that. A great response would have been to wait a few hours, then send her something that said:

"Gee, thanks for the thought but I got this text right in the middle of my presentation. Awkward! The only thing that saved me was my boyish charm and Power Rangers superdecoder ring..."

That would have been a much better hook than the 'normal' thanks, you're funny. The fact that you told her to text you to wish you luck was good, give her a hoop to jump through (two actually)...but why did you even mention it in the first place? You could have talked about an event you're attending at 1pm, but it doesn't have to be the presentation:

"B sure to text me tom before 1 and wish me luck, I've got my audition at La Bare..."

See, different, exciting, fun. She KNOWS it's not true, but she doesn't care because she KNOWS its a joke and it TAKES her out of her boring world.

-The voicemail was good, very funny. And, you did three very important things. 1) You called for a reason that is unique to your conveersations with her. 2) You didn't leave your name. 3) You gave her a command..."Call me back." AWESOME! But, why did you ever call her in the first place? There's no need to ever call. The only time I ever call is when I'm getting or giving directions to a venue or her place/my place...a lot of guys are exactly the same way.

-After the first call, you should have never called again. Keep running text game, you can escalate sometimes it takes time but you can do it via text. For instance, I mentioned that it took me like 2 months to close a chick via text. The reason? She had a boyfriend and she didn't know what to do with him. So, she kept me around via text, at arms length, while she decided what to do with her beaux. This shouldn't bother you at all by the way because you should have at least two/three other options.

I'd reopen with a text that isn't intended to go to her. Sort of like you're sending her by accident. Something like, "Dude, last night was crazy! Where did those chicks come from?" I've used it several times and it always gets the interaction started again.

[Guest]

Thanks for the feedback! I have heard a couple people recommend just using text but to me it seems odd. What is your reasoning for only texting. I feel like I can accomplish a LOT more with one 10 minute call than several days of texting.

If you do only use text, how do you escalate to the point of asking her out?

[Guest]

[quote1211948290=Sal Paradise]
Thanks for the feedback! I have heard a couple people recommend just using text but to me it seems odd. What is your reasoning for only texting. I feel like I can accomplish a LOT more with one 10 minute call than several days of texting.

If you do only use text, how do you escalate to the point of asking her out?
[/quote1211948290]

I anchor early on. Get something to do.

"Dancing at the club last night reminded me I want to take salsa lessons"... Then later on "I am running out of texts, but I would love to continue this. How about you show me how really outgoing you are. Salsa 9 on Saturday. Be there"

You have to give her a reason to call you/ meet you.

[Guest]

To get her to call you, get her talking via text, then frame her to ask a question, any question will work (I showed you how to do this at the class), and when she asks one, text her: "Call me right quick."

Sometimes they text back, "Ok one sec" but usually they call, the only time they havent called is when my phone is being a douch and I question whether or not they even got it.

When she does call, just tell her your driving, if you are, or otherwise you needed your hands for something you are doing (observe how she reacts, if you do it right you can go sexual right here). Also FTC 1 more time.

Escalating and then asking out via text takes either massive attraction or massive comfort. Massive attraction will get her out no problem, massive comfort on the other hand, means she'll only come out IF she has nothing better to do. So first off, you'll want to work on attraction, be fun and flirty, plant the seed early about the fun stuff you are going to be doing (with solo intentions).

If I am intentionally working at increasing my attraction via text I try and make sure to leave her hanging, meaning she is the last person to text. Where you end it is completely relative to where you are in the interaction though. Sometimes I only leave them hanging for about 2 hours, sometimes for a day.

Alot of people here talked about mirroring, and that is improtant in regards to timed responses, HOWEVER I feel it is more important to mirror in regards to length of responses.
EX.

[b]" Her: Oh my gosh how did you know? Is that you volunteering to be in it? Lol!
Me: No I will be busy being a world famous professor ;-) but I might hire you as a personal trainer if you have the chops. For some reason I have the notion that you want to be
a teacher when you grow up. I don't know, you put off a I wanna save the world vibe...haha
Her: I almost changed my major to personal training, but no i don't wanna be a teacher but i'm majoring in speech pathology and plan on workin in schools, so you were close!
Me: I have to be good at reading people because of what I do! I just met a speech pathologist last night in Chicago and it actually sounds really cool...but it's also clear that you
are a bit of a nerd! ;-) Chicago is a great city but I still don't think it is my favorite place I have been.
Her: Yeah i am a nerd and i'll admit it, i love math and science too so you caught me! So where is your favorite place?"[/b]

Her responses are all like 2 lines max, yours are kinda long. You still got her going a little bit though.

Length has the same impressions that locking in does. It subconsiously signals the brain as to who is in control of the conversation. Who is vying for acknowledgement, and so on.

Also, getting her to ask questions is a must. The more she asks the more she is "chasing you".

Just glancing back at the convo, I see at least 3 spots in that interaction where you could have baited a question or 2 or 3.

"Her: What about darth vader and Luke Skywalker outfits?
Me: Depends on the audience but I guess it fits your personality ;) I am gonna need a 50 percent cut of the profits
Her: Only if you dress as Princess Laya. I have no idea how to spell her name"

Instead of "depends on the audience..." You could have said, "Depends. I think its time to start talking about my terms for this agreement, this shit ain't for free!"

Don't jump into her hoops all the time... I know its hard to recognize at times BUT she hooped you at the end of that exchange, "only if you dress up as princess laya..." and you responded "yeah right..." Jumping into a hoop means acknowledging what she said and repling to it IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. A hoop is basically a weak frame used to throw you off your supposedly stronger frame. A subconcious test on her part.

I think that it is ok to jump through some hoops of hers, only as long as they coincide with frames you are already laying out. For instance, you haven't said anything sexual up to the point where she mentioned that it made her sexy, and then you responded with a likewise sexual comment. Bad in my opinion because she initiated that frame. She wasn't replying to a subconsious frame you set out either.

Wow. This is scatter brained all to hell.

[Guest]

[quote1211982465=Sal Paradise]
Thanks for the feedback! I have heard a couple people recommend just using text but to me it seems odd. What is your reasoning for only texting. I feel like I can accomplish a LOT more with one 10 minute call than several days of texting.

If you do only use text, how do you escalate to the point of asking her out?
[/quote1211982465]

Yes, you can accomplish a lot more with a phone call. I totally agree. BUT, girls don't like to talk on the phone with guys they just met once. It requires that they invest too much time in you.

In addition, if you're willing to stop your busy schedule and make a phone call to her it implies that you simply aren't that busy which makes you a low value man OR it implies that you're really busy but she's such a priority to you that you make room for her in your schedule which makes you pathetic. Those are the impressions she gets anyway.

As for escalating via text, it should happen very naturally. Throw down a couple of jokes, talk about a lot of nothing, maybe even do some future projection. If you act indifferent via text (i.e. you aren't hitting on her some much as you're just talking to her being fun and playful), she'll naturally escalate. That's been my experience, and it's my style...indifference. Sure, it takes a little longer to close but I almost always close.