My father is a confidence destroyer

[Guest]

dam bulovard, sorry i have disappointed u. I did stand up against him and it almost turned into a fist fight. My dad has some serious issues. The case u talked bout would be the solution if my dad was normal person. Don't worry I am using all my energy and brain to think about getting out of here and being able to support myself.

and another thang is that I know I am not going to get a job like that. I know everyone has to start off somewhere. That is why some of jobs I refused were pretty high paying jobs... just because I did not want office jobs. I wanted something interactive rather than stuck in the building with computers and papers.

Thanks for the advices

-Sleek

[Guest]

You know thats how my roomate's ex was. She was pre med and had all A( only one B). I mean that chick irritated the fuck out of me. But what she had wtih grades she lacked everywehre else. She is weird, emotionally and socally unstable at the very least. People who study all the time like that( at least some of them) only excel at academic doman and then they just crumble everywhere else.

My advice is get a good paying job and just save up a crap load of money and then decide what you want to do. Sounds like you need a break from school anyway. Thas the reason you actually declining job offers-you are just mentally exhausted. Go on a small vacation recharge yourself and then go for it.
By the way do you live in Austin?

[Guest]

Bhudda (the philosopher not the gold idol) Talked about balance. When you went to school, you had a goal for your wealth desires. You were gaining a wealth of knowledge. School was giving you skills you thought you needed for your professional life.

Now that you are out of school your life is out of balance. You don't know what you want to do professionally, only what you don't want to do.

"Get out of your head and just do it," is common advice. It's like saying to someone with pneumonia "Just stop being sick and get out of bed."

Balance your life. Instead of dwelling on what you don't want to do all your life, decide on what you do want to do. What in your life will bring you wealth, TRUE wealth, not just money. It could be travel, friends or power. It's an abundance of whatever excites you.

Decide on your idea of wealth and then figure out what it takes to get there. A mindless job with great hours, good pay and fun coworkers is perfect if you see friends as wealth. IF a mansion full of babes is wealth for you, build a magazine empire like Hef. A good start would be a job at a magazine or work as a photographers assistant. Find the big wealth goal and figure out what will get you there.

You're father is just mirroring what you feel yourself. He sees a lack of direction that you feel inside. That's why it is effecting you so much. Find a wealth goal and work toward it. Your fathers words won't effect you anywhere near as much. You will also find the balance in the other parts of your life, your health and relationships will come back into balance as well.

[Guest]

[quote1211467148=Neuromancer]"Get out of your head and just do it," is common advice. It's like saying to someone with pneumonia "Just stop being sick and get out of bed."[/quote1211467148]

I totally disagree. Comparing a physical issue with an emotional/mental issue is completely ridiculous. And, it's common advice because when you commit to it, it works.

When you have poor thought processes and a poor outlook, the best thing to do is to stop thinking about how bad shit is and to begin interacting with the world. Stop the pity party and turn your shit around. You are the one in control of what you want to do. It truly is that simple. I think back on my life and the things I've wanted:

I wanted to be healthy, so I got of my ass and lost damn near 100lbs

I wanted to a great paying job that I enjoy, so I got off my ass and went to grad school

I wanted to own my own business, so I got my ass and started one

I wanted to be better with women, so I got of my ass and started to figure them out

I could go on and on. IT is that simple. You can change your life by simply changing your thought processes and doing something about it!

Be a man of action, get out of your head, put your excuses aside and just fucking do it!

[Guest]

Bullrun:
"BUT, something I have learned from all of the guys I've met is that we're all fucking awesome! We are the shit, hands down. We are capable, smart, and hungry! That combination is dangerous and I see it every time I go sarging with my boys, the damage we inflict on the dating scene is awe inspiring. Imagine what would happen if we unleashed our abilities on the rest of the world?

You've got it in you man. Somewhere, hiding, lurking, waiting to pounce. It's up to you to unleash the beast, to become the man you've always wanted to be, the one you know you are meant to be..."

Bullrun said a bunch of powerful stuff right here! The key to achieving success with anything in life lies within what he just said.

I'm sure your dad just wants the best for his son who deep down he really has a lot of pride in. If he didn't truly care about you he wouldn't say a damn thing! Now I'd bet that when he was your age he was put down by his father or perhaps he didn't accomplish what he truly wanted to with his life and wants to make sure his son doesn't make the same mistakes. I'd be sure to stand up to your dad and tell him that "If you don't have any thing constructive to tell me then I don't need to hear it from you." Because this negativity is doing nothing to help you out. If he still continues with it, then politely stop the conversation and walk away.

When you are out there chasing ho's you don't let all of those "rejections" bother you do ya???? Hell no, you run game on the next ho. So don't let your dad's negativity dampen your spirit either. My mom always told me when you get bucked off, dust your ass off, get back in the saddle and ride.

And as someone else stated, they don't hand out "management" jobs to people with no experience!!! Suck it up and go ahead and take one of those "ok" jobs that you aren't super interested in. That will help you get more positive about yourself and open some doors for ya. If you take this route and approach it like a successful PUA would, you'll be moving up to one of those management positions in no time at all.

Let me tell you a little story about myself that might shed a little light on what I just said. Back when I turned 16, I needed another job to help pay for my car payment. Well I kept applying at all the "cool" places for positions that I was highly interested in. One of the cool jobs was at K-Mart. A few months went by and I wasn't getting any bites. So I lowered my standards and walked into a greasy old fast food place and was hired on the spot. I worked there for about a week and I also filled out another application at K-Mart(lol, my dream job). Now I could list this shitty fast food joint as "WORK EXPERIENCE". WELL guess what??? the place(KMART) that rejected me the first time, is now interested in me! I am 100pct. sure that having that fast food shithole listed as work experience was the key to me getting hired at K-Mart. And all it took was a week working the shit job.

So don't be afraid to take one of the lesser jobs, you'll still be able to learn something from it that will help you be a better manager someday.

[Guest]

thanks guys for all the advices. I am thinking of many ways right now. btw Murad, I came up to Dallas few days ago coz my graduation was on saturday and left on sunday. So I am near highland village/flowermound area.
yeah actually i am getting some job offers from left and right at the moment. I am also thinking about going overseas for a year to teach english etc. Maybe I will game some foreign chicks haha. well i will put more updates on how it goes. thanks everyone!

[Guest]

[quote1211486253=Sleek]
so yeah as you all know I just graduated from univ. of tx at austin.
It was an important day for me. Half of me was happy and the other did not know what to do.
I have gotten accepted to few companies before, however, I declined every single one of 'em for some stupid reason.
I guess I thought I wanted something else. Now that I graduated, I don't have a job/things lined up. I am still looking for jobs/business opportunities. I am getting some job offers right now at the moment, but I don't know why I am holding myself back.
The uncertainty of my future... is kind of scary, but at sametime I am trying to think positively by thinking uncertainty is what makes our lives interesting.
At the moment, I am staying with my parents. I have no jobs/ no jobs lined up for me. I am getting some offers, but I seem to hold myself back for whatever reason.

My dad just destroys my confidence every second I am with him. His friends' sons and daughters are some robots who made all straight As in 5 years of their college with only one B. They get into some big ass companies like Goldman Sach, KPMG, and JP Morgan blah blah.
I don't really care if I get to work with huge ass company or not. My dad somehow makes it that he can penetrate my defenses and put me down. He disqualifies me and everything. His comments are always negative towards me.
With all these shit going on right after my graduation, I am struggling to keep my confidence and everything to keep me tight.

There was a girl from 6th street that I number closed when I sarged with Socrates at Cheers. It was the set I and Socrates ran like pros. Come to think of it, I don't even know how I pulled that shit out. Despite the fact that it was a very large mixed group with bout 4-5 guys. I think I gave this girl 8 or 8.5. Now that I am in dallas area, I can meet up wtih her. However I am struggling so hard with myself all of sudden to pick up the phone and do the day 2 with her. I feel like a useless college graduate who graduated wtihout a job lined up and no jobs right now.
I don't know what the hell is gonna happen in the future. I guess I am at my sticking point in my life.
Anybody know someone or cool jobs that I might be able to take on?
All the jobs I am getting offers are like office jobs. I don't really want these. I don't want to sit on the desk all day looking at computers and doing paper work in the building. I want something that is like managing type of jobs. I want to interact and be out there at my job.

It will be cool if anybody can give me some advices on jobs/business opportunities/how to restore my confidence/etc. Thanks for all yall's support always.

-Sleek

[/quote1211486253]



I can relate... all of us have been through this and your dad loves you.
Think... your Dad loves you... he just doesn't know how to communicate with you and is sadden about your situation.

So I will do it for him.

Get your head out of your ASS and look for a dam job. (INstead of learning to GAME)
Your game will get better when you get take a girl to YOUR APartment or YOUR house and not your Mama's Home.
YOu will NOT get the perfect JOB, but it will be the stepping Stone to a good ONe and then to a BETTER ONE... it is YOUR beginning of YOUR Journey.
It is NOT going to be like your Dad's friends... because you are not them.

TAKE Freaking RESPONSIBLITY and STOP letting your DAD control you.
GEt a Better FRAME, by knowing where you are going.
I bet you even missed your "Rebellion" stage.

YOu better find something you like to do and have a CLEAR Goal.

It is NOT your DAD.
IT is you.
YOu are allowing your Dad's Frame to dominate over you... because you are uncertain and goal-less.
Your confidence will be strong, when you have a better Frame and YOUR Own money in your pocket.
You win by having a Clear picture and than working on it, not by yelling back at your dad.
Blaming your Dad is not accepting your responsibility.
Girls love a man with a Goal, a dream and passion for something.
Your Confidence is lacking because it doesn't have these things... NOT because of your dad... he is just pointing them out is the WRONG FREAKING WAY.

I learned this stuff because I blame someone else for all my shiit.

Good Luck and God Bless... it will take time and a new prospective and initiative from you... or a little more painful experiences for you to change and that is just part of life.

[Guest]

dammm hahaha thanks for the lessons Imager. That make sense also.

[Guest]

Having grown up with extremely controlling and negative parents I can relate to your post.

What do you think motivates your dad to be so critical of you?
You'll have to figure this out. You are closest to the situation so you will know better than anyone.

It could be fear that is motivating your dad. Parents many times try to get self esteem through their kids' achievements. The cliche of the fat, hideous mom pushing her young daughter into beauty contests while doing nothing to improve her own appearance or lot in life is an extreme example, but it is a true one.

Initially kids grow up accepting their parents' opinion or frame of them as true. After all, you're a little kid. You have these giants walking around you that can easily overpower you physically, intellectually, financially and emotionally and every which way. If your folks treat you like crap growing up, the usual thing is that kids' accept their parents' opinions of them as true. Parents are like gods to kids.

I agree with the posters who say you must break free and put your hands on the wheel of your own thought-life. You must take responsibility. It will take time to build up emotional strength but that's ok. Just get on the path and start. You will build it like building your body lifting weights, or building your intellect at school. It's a process.

Just for your personal enlightenment you might do what I did sometime. You might ask your dad why he is always so negative. Display no emotion. Be totally calm. This isn't about you. This is about you learning about your dad. Interview him. Tell him how he constantly berrates you, compares you to other kids, why do you do this, dad? Delve into his opinions and his psyche like a psychologist. My dad became angry intially and then embarrassed. And it opened his eyes. My mother stopped talking to me. No loss there.

I admire you for posting what you did. It shows you have a commitment to knowing. You're on the path. Take responsibility. Keep going.

[Guest]

[quote1211564314=Sleek]
dammm hahaha thanks for the lessons Imager. That make sense also.
[/quote1211564314]


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Sleek are you asian?