Inner confidence issues for me

[Guest]

If you meet me, with my body language and voice tone, you'd probably assume I have a ton of self confidence. And compared to the old me, from the pre-divorce days, I do.

The problem I'm realizing is this: I originally stumbled onto Tom Leykis before I stumbled onto the PUA stuff. One thing Leykis recommended was ordering girly shots on a first date. I have been one to agree with this so far. Alcohol does serve a useful purpose, that of reducing social inhibitions.

But this spring, I've gotten two D2's with a couple of girls who refused to drink. That itself shouldn't be a deal breaker. Most chicks, after you start dating them, don't drink much anyway. The problem is, since my divorce, I've had many first dates, two of them were bad...the ones without alcohol.

Not only that, but I don't think I've ever actually hit on a target unless I was at least on my first beer. I can recall many instances where I hit on a target before I even finished my first beer, so it's not like the alcohol played a real role in reducing AA, but nonetheless, alcohol has been involved in every approach I've ever made. I've never fucked with day game. Deep down inside, I feel like a scared little boy if I don't have my beer bottle.

I gotta say, those two sober first dates were basically hell. There was nothing enjoyable about them, they were awkward. I sensed the girls weren't very interested in me. It sucked. Maybe that's why they refused to drink...perhaps they were tooling me knowing that they had "it" for another guy. All the other first dates I've had, we've both drank alcohol and they've all been fun.

Any words of wisdom from any of the other pua's on this topic???

Another thing I noticed last January when I was basically sarging sober (2 beers over 5 hours, which I only did twice because it sucked)...you can easily identify drunk chicks when you're sober but when I'm drinking, I don't think I've ever thought to myself "Gee, that chick is drunk." AND, since I never see postings on these forums about drunk vs sober chicks, I'm guessing we all suffer from this, at least to one extent or another.

[Guest]

I can go into depth about this, but I will be breif.
Alcohol can be a crutch. I took it out of my game, replaced it with stimulants, and havent really looked back. It kinda opened things up for me in a way.
I can drink , or not, whearas before I kinda had to. It's cheaper, and you should see your results improve.

I can do more day game now too. You'd look mighty wierd walking around the mall with a Bud Light, while talking to girls.

It's kinda like decopnstructiong your game, to see what makes it tick. You take parts out, see what effect it has, then you have a more clear understanding of what works, whats necessary and why.

[Guest]

El Fenix,

Appreciate any input on this. I bought the Coq Diesel a few weeks ago. It seems to be helping me last longer in bed, but the jury is still out on that. Stumbled into the Vitamin Shoppe after reading your other thread a few weeks ago and bought a bottle of Super Energy Up (B-12 & Ginseng). Doesn't seem to help much. Usually, Red Bull gets me into a good conversational state but I still think I need alcohol as a crutch.

Seriously, the funnest first dates are the ones where I can get a shot down both our throats. Once they drink the first shot, they'll usually just keep drinking them as long as you keep buying them. It's a lot easier to bed them at that point.

Bottom line: I need a new drug.

The deal is, when I get drunk, I don't appear drunk, even to friends. Especially after tequilla shots, I run direct game and I do REALLY well after a few shots. Women probably just think I'm super confident. The problem is, they end up meeting the real me later on, and while still very confident compared to the average joe, not nearly as confident as the tequilla me.

[Guest]

Alphagame I'm going to go ahead and agree with you. I HATE going on first dates with no alcohol. Bottom line is I just don't do it anymore. It's such a waste. Like I've said before if it's our first time hanging out she can come to my place, I can go to hers, or we can go out for drinks. Next time you ask (tell) a girl out, tell her you're going for drinks. If they refuse to drink make fun of them until they give in. Or just skip it altogether and invite her to your place to watch a movie.

[Guest]

Lion,

Maybe you're right. I think that's probably a HUGE part of the reason why so many women aren't attracted to the men they meet on the online dating scene. They usually agree to a first date for lunch or something like that where alcohol would never be used.

Man, I'm telling you, those two sober first dates SUCKED ASS! It was like torture or something. Seriously, if that's how most first dates are, it's no wonder most women flake at the last minute. They've been through that experience once and they don't ever want to do it again.

I guess the next time I get out with a woman and she refuses to drink, I'm gonna try my hardest to peer pressure her into it, but if she won't drink, I'll just say I gotta get going and bold immediately. No sense trying to force something that ain't gonna happen anyway.

[Guest]

So what you are saying is out of all your dates the only ones that sucked were those 2 that didn't involve alcohol?

Where did you meet those two? Did you meet them at the bar? Why didn't they drink? Were they on medication? Were they just boring? Maybe they had something else going for them and they didn't feel that alcohol was needed in order to have a good time with you.

I agree though alcohol def makes things easier and typically more fun. I just keep thinking that maybe these girls were a little diff then your average bar fly whore.

[Guest]

++++So what you are saying is out of all your dates the only ones that sucked were those 2 that didn't involve alcohol?++++

Yes.

Almost all the women I date, I met in a bar.

++++I just keep thinking that maybe these girls were a little diff then your average bar fly whore.++++

Ok, bar fly whore = a chick who goes to the bars on a regular basis, like every week or so.

Most single women will go out an average of 2 times per month or less. That's about it. If you want to label them barfly whores, I guess you can.

As for throwing the term "quality" around at women, I sincerely believe they're all a bunch of whores whether they'll admit it or not. If they're in an exclusive relationship, if the right guy comes along and says the right things and does the right things and if the circumstances are just right, they'll all cheat. Even the most well intentioned girls aren't above this.

So as for women who refuse to drink on the first date, it's probably more of a boring issue than a quality issue.

[Guest]

[link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMSFX1Vb3xQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMSFX1Vb3xQ[/link]

[Guest]

Tonight is sarging... I am going to get one beer and one cigarette and I will open a set. Love the Nicotine high.

[Guest]

[quote1210978248=Alphagame]
I guess the next time I get out with a woman and she refuses to drink, I'm gonna try my hardest to peer pressure her into it, but if she won't drink, I'll just say I gotta get going and bold immediately. No sense trying to force something that ain't gonna happen anyway.
[/quote1210978248]

Just TELL them beforehand that you are going out for drinks. You're not going for dinner or a movie, you're going for drinks.