People are people

[Neuromancer]

I haven't posted anything big in a while, but I felt I had to say something about this.

Occasionally I hear someone say, "this stuff is cool but it won't work in my circumstances." What ever the circumstances are be it high school, the mall, a coffee shop, bar or night club, people are all the same. Women are all the same.

When I worked as a bouncer way back when, I dealt with a lot of different groups. I got the job because my friend DJed a goth/industrial night. I knew the crowd. I knew the people. I knew the relationships.

Of course I didn't just work goth night. I worked hiphop night, rave night and whatever else came thru.

Now being a bouncer is all about paying attention to the crowd. Watching how people interacted and watching for trouble. In watching I learned that the only difference between the crowds is what they wore, how they danced and what music they liked.

the social dynamic was the same, the peoples attitudes where the same, and what they respected was the same. The guys on hiphop night respected me because I didn't try to be like them. I was a biker/punk type and I respected them and treated them no differently from anyone else. The same was true from the rave kids and anyone else I dealt with.

I realized the only difference between me and anyone else is the differences I chose to perceive. Looking back, this was also true in high school. Everyone is the same. If anything, high school is easier because the targets have less experience and are less socialized. Being cool is more about being well groomed and having something cool to say. Well groomed is a standard of the community and having something cool to say is all about having good material, canned or otherwise.

This stuff works because it is designed to create interest and attraction. It is field tested and used thousands of times by the best guys in the community. Instead of thinking of reasons why it won't work for you, trust that this stuff is tested and universal. Trust your material and deliver it with the confidence it deserves. Stick with the game plan and run with it. If the target isn't your "type" do it for practice. If the people aren't what you are used to, they are still the same and the same material still works.

Respect your material and it will take care of you, no matter what situation you are in. No matter the crowd. No matter how you think they are different.

[hooks]

good post, what kind of punk did you/do you like?

[jast]

Yeah if you don't believe that a line or tech will work then there is all most zero chance it will. If you do believe that it will work then it almost always well.

[evolve]

you are absolutely right. one of the biggest "ahas!" i have had in recent months is that what it all boils down to is that "people are people" regardless of social status, groups, sex, nationality. i have got better and better at speaking and holding a conversation with just about anyone. i still have my hangups during nightgame, but it has more to do with me being in my head and lack of comfort in that scene. coworkers are scared to death to talk to the ceo of our company, i talk to him like he is an old friend. i am working on putting that very same idea into effect when talking to any HB when sarging.

people are just people with similar interests and insecurities.

[TheDoGhoUse]

some areas have different social tendencies then others. Different approaches work in different areas of town better then others - changing and adapting are your best qualities. Have a few approaches and conversations in mind and alot of times these can all lead to the same closers in one way or another. People are People but you can attack different groups of people by picking which areas you are going to sarge at by knowing what types of people you are going to be encountering. Do your research.

[Neuromancer]

some areas have different social tendencies then others. Different approaches work in different areas of town better then others - changing and adapting are your best qualities. Have a few approaches and conversations in mind and alot of times these can all lead to the same closers in one way or another. People are People but you can attack different groups of people by picking which areas you are going to sarge at by knowing what types of people you are going to be encountering. Do your research.

Absolutely wrong. Attempting to research a group to fit in will always look like it. It is better to NOT fit in to a crowd than pretend to fit in. While your personal tastes will make it easier to associate with a group with similar tastes, having a strong frame and being comfortable with the idea that everyone has their own tastes will get you a lot further. When hanging out with people who listen to hiphop, I got a better response when I said, I don't know much about it but I'm having fun," than saying "Yeah, I've been into this for a while," when I don't know much about it.

Researching stuff you like and gaining expertise in it is fine but, if you take yoga classes to get chicks instead of because you like yoga they will know. They will read your intent and disqualify you.

Also, not fitting in but still being cool is easier.

[TheDoGhoUse]

you might have misunderstood what i was saying or maybe i wasnt saying it properly. Different approaches work better in different social scenes than others. I did not mean try to adapt in the sense of how a Chamelion camoflauges itself to its surronding. You are absolutely right that standing out is your best advantage in any situation. People associate with different people because of their taste - this is how groups (subcultures) of people are formed. Stick with what you know and what you are comfortable with but also know what works best in different surrondings. There are some approaches that will work anywhere and their are others that work better in some locations better than others. The more knowledge you have in general the more weapons you have at your disposal. I dont act like i know something that I dont - showing interest in something that you dont know is just another way to control a conversation using key points but make sure you know where you want the conversation to end up - always have direction.

[Neuromancer]

I understand what you are saying and you did clear it up a bit, but as I said:

This stuff works because it is designed to create interest and attraction. It is field tested and used thousands of times by the best guys in the community. Instead of thinking of reasons why it won't work for you, trust that this stuff is tested and universal. Trust your material and deliver it with the confidence it deserves. Stick with the game plan and run with it. If the target isn't your "type" do it for practice. If the people aren't what you are used to, they are still the same and the same material still works.

When coming up with your own material it can be venue specific and that is cool and lots of PUAs recommend it. The canned stuff that the PUGs teach is universal and it doesn't matter where you use it.

[TheDoGhoUse]

we are on the same page here. venue specific material might work better than the generic cases or vice versa. Personally there are some technigues I would rather use in certain venues before others. Yes, they all work except if they have already been attempted on the person of interest. That is why it is always good too if possible to take the generic (tried and tribulated) technigues out there and try different variations of the same methods or branch off new ones. Dont always use the same old technigue over and over again. I am a fan of evolution - evolve your technigues - always look for improvement and use the environment of the venue you are at for your advantage if at all possible. You are absolutely correct - stay in your comfort zone - if you are uncomfortable or showing signs of not being confident women have a knack for instantly picking up on these emotions.

Hey, I am a NOOB. I am here to learn. Everything I have learned has been on my own for the most part. Keep your criticism coming - knowledge is universal.

[Neuromancer]

actually what i meant to say in response was trust that how this whole thing is put together will work for you in any situation. I don't so much point at canned material as the format. Don't knock canned material but think more about how the system you have chosen to use has been thoroughly field tested and works. Don't try to out think it or pick ways why it doesnt work for you. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water. if you arent getting bitch shield, cool, move past it to the next part.

Way too many people try to reinvent the wheel because they can't believe this simple shit works. Well it does, and it does so for thousands of guys.