by Guest » Mon Jul 09, 2007 7:35 am
I have a girl I'm seeing who I met on a dating site. She was getting more and more serious and one day I had to stress to her that I wanted to see other people, that I don't feel like I have to align with just one woman at this point in my life. When she was over my house the last time, she asked if she could use my computer to check something. What she was really doing was logging onto her online dating profile to show me how many options she has. Good play on her part. Too bad I didn't fall into her frame.
However, I did get to see online dating from a woman's perspective. She may have unwittingly helped me get other women if I ever decide to do that again.
Here's what I learned.
1. Women's profiles are looked at a lot. She has been on for a couple of weeks and her profile had over 16,000 views. So if you're thinking about whether she will notice if you looked at her profile again, she won't notice because 100 other men will probably look at her profile before she logs in again.
2. Women get a lot of emails. Way too many to deal with. She had to sort through them there were so many. Her "trash" folder was HUGE.
3. If your profile has a main, default picture that shows up with your email, then that picture is very, very important. When she was paging through her connections (more pages than I ever had connections at one time), she was scanning them by picture. She would say, "he's cute right?" I would say, "yeah, he's hot" to act unaffected, which I actually was. A close up picture of you smiling is the way to go. If you can get some professional pictures done where you almost look like a model, then that is the best.
From those three things, you can sort of see what to do. I love the email, but if you don't have a good default picture or a snappy subject, she won't even read it. All that effort may be for naught, because it may end up right in the trash and your "connection" will wind up on the back page QUICK.
If you get spam, do this exercise. Go into your junk email folder and find a subject line that compells you to open the email. Write that down. No, I don't mean "sexy latina tranny dildo viagra party." Spammers use tricks to make emails seem enticing. One, they put "Re:" at the beginning of the subject line. In fact, if you just put "Re:" and that's it, she might think she emailed you, because she's just the type of dork who can't think of a subject. Maybe try that on some of them. And then try "RE: Re: RE: Re:" just to test it out. Another is they put interesting words together like "gulp unequally" (I actually got this one from my junk email folder). You see that and you say to yourself, "what the fuck is that?" Curiosity alone compells you to open it. So find the most compelling subjects and use them. Seriously, you're a spammer, so if you don't use tricks to get noticed, you will end up in the trash faster than you can click send.
Also, get her on the phone as quickly as possible. Say you want her number because talking through email is so lame. We've heard over and over that communication is 93% nonverbal (hey, tell her that and she will probably want to hear your voice). So you can say the coolest thing in an email and if she's in a bad mood, she will hear it in a whiney, needy voice.