learning to be the ultimate PUA...

[Mojo]

Hey fellas, I was recently asked a question often asked by new guys and thought you would want to hear the answer.


He asked:

Well Mojo, i'm interested in learning to be the ultimate PUA. I been on the site and it seems not to be working you know. Wat advise, tips can you help me out with? I want to be sumthing like a protégé.

Thanks for the help if you can.

My response:
First and foremost, this is about self-improvement. You can learn all the theory but if you don't have confidence in yourself, it won't work. The theory is more or less the same so learn the basics. Some good books:

The Game by Strauss - You've probably already read this
The Selfish Gene by Dawkins (one of my favorite authors)
Unlimited Power by Robbins
Body Language - can't remember the author but an excellent book - its a red and white cover with a few folks on the cover showing different body positions
Influence by Cialdini

The trick is to become a better person, to be genuine, and eventually, after all the bad programming in your head is corrected, to be yourself.

Don't waste money on a bootcamp, rather find a few naturals and hang out with them.

Hope this helps


Thou I'd like to add to the last part:
You can be in this community for many years and never get good because bad programming still exists in the mind. All the pick-up tactics and routines set aside, you have to focus on who you are first and foremost. Re-program your mind to naturally do better. Your life will be better all around! Here are some good books to help:

The first two are my favorite:
1) Secrets of the Millionaire Mind - T. Harv Eker (Making money is easier than you imagine. Money does buy happiness, and those who say otherwise don't have money. It is the freedom it buys rather than material possession it buys that brings happiness)

2) Unlimited Power - Anthony Robins (Robins uses NLP to help you reprogram the mind)

3) Mastering Your Hidden Self - Serge Kahili King (The ancient Hawaiians knew things about psychology we are not just rediscovering)

4) Introducing NLP - Joseph O'Connor & John Seymour (Title says it all)

5) Frogs to Princes - Richard Bandler & John Grinder (This is the only book I have not read however it is in my library - it is suppose to be a classic)

6) My Secret Garden - Nancy Friday (The purpose of this book is to internalize the idea women want it just as bad as men - and they sooooo do!)

Reprogramming your mind helps with confidence. And confidence is the BIGGEST aphrodisiac. When you enter a room and KNOW you can fuck any girl, you can. It is an awesome feeling. And women can sense that confidence and feeling from across the room. When this happens naturally without effort is where you want to be.

Getting to this point is HOW to do it but it is something RARELY addressed by "Gurus" because they don't know how. It's easier to say "learn my stuff and you will get laid". It is a bandaid to a big wound they are trying the address. You have to fix the wound, not slap a routine bandaid on it. It all starts with re-programming your mind and becoming a better person.

I wrote a post a while ago giving advice on how to get in the right mindset to sarge:
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=277

These are just tips to get that pumped-up, good feeling; to get the confidence to sarge. Though ultimately confidence derives from who you are inside, from inner game.

~ Mojo

[Dubb]

This is awesome Mojo. I definitely recommend reading as much as possible to anyone starting out and REreading for those who have gotten into the field and practiced. Like you said, it's all about self improvement and confidence first! You'll be amazed how much just reading gets you in the right mindset as well.

This may be tmi, but I keep a copy of The Game in my bathroom and read it whenever I'm in there. Usually just one chapter at a time...only takes a couple minutes but you'll instantly feel so much better just letting the story bring those ideas back to the front of your mind. You may not even remember 99% of the "rules" for pickup but just having that confidence in yourself will get you through!

-Dubb

[Mojo]

This may be tmi, but I keep a copy of The Game in my bathroom and read it whenever I'm in there. Usually just one chapter at a time...only takes a couple minutes but you'll instantly feel so much better just letting the story bring those ideas back to the front of your mind.

Thanks Dubb. Hell, that's one of the best times to read a book, sitting on the John

[RockStar]

These are the six traits every good PUA I've ever meet has. I think that every one should incorporate the into their game.

First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

Third, don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others — and that's because they don't perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

Fourth, don't make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone — and this includes self-criticism — find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis." The late Malcolm Forbes said, "Vehicles in motion use their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf cart, you can't recharge your battery when you're parked in the garage!"

Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have done — and it may even be something you'll have to do again on the way to success — but a failure is definitely not something you are.

-Rockstar