Being Hit On...

[Finesse]

So I guess the way that would be most beneficial to the pick up would be to reward then qualify slightly?

[Tribulus1000]

Alright need advice on this.

If a girl opens you and basically hits on you should your game change? The reason I ask is because I don't change my game. And just tonight it seemed to backfire on me when the girl hit on me.

I am wondering if I should change the game up and start complimenting her and such if she is hitting on me. For example the girl asks how tall I am. I say I am 9 feet tall or something crazy shit like that. She of course says nah so I say fine I am 6 feet tall. She says yah I like tall guys. So I say how SHORT ARE YOU? She is freaking tall and has heels on so she is damn near my height. This makes her go crazy and she leans over to her friend saying can you believe he asked how short I was. Now either she was drunk or this single question seemed to blow the entire set. I gave her some more shit and bam the set was over.

What would you have done?

Your game doesn't change, you just use a different part of it. Namely hoops and qualification.

The question, "How tall are you?" is a hoop. Its a compliance principle. So we have to flip it back around on her....

"Well how tall do you like them?" or "How tall do you want me to be?"

Grab her question hoop and throw it up for her. Or just "Come over here, we'll measure".

These are all attempts to get her to do what you ask, answer your question or pay attention to you.

They fall under Cialdini's Commitment and Consistency principle. The more hoops she jumps through, the more she is getting invested.

Make sense?

so I say fine I am 6 feet tall. She says yah I like tall guys.

So there's your IOI.

Find out what she specifically likes about tall men. Elicit Values on her. Its more hoops, see?

"What is it about tall dark handsome men that you find so attractive? Is it because all of your friends would be jealous or because you feel totally safe around a big tall guy like me?"

[Tribulus1000]

I watched Rock of Love 2 the other day (guilty pleasure). There were a lot of hot girls on it this time compared to the original show.

One of the hottest, I don't remember her name but a stunning brunette (and a germ-a-phobe), choked in the initial meet and greet with Brett.

She told the camera that she usually is the one getting approached and has no idea on how to go up and talk to a guy. She barely spoke to Brett while all of the other, not as hot, girls were all over Brett.

So, just like men, women can have approach anxiety, or at least feel awkward approaching. When they do come and hit on you, and this will happen more and more as you become more and more confident, make sure you reward them - as you would want them to reward you when you approach them.

A couple of days ago I was asked out by this stripper who also operates a sex based web cam. She sent me a text "I want to see you. Let me know if you maybe would like to go out sometime for dinner or drinks or something. If you don't want to, its OK". If a guy sent something this wishy washy, he would be shot down for sure. I am of course going to reward her with that date for asking....

Wow. That's good. I really like that.

[Alphagame]

I've noticed that too. Women have AA much worse than we do. Even if they were able to overcome it, their female friends would quickly label them a slut.

I meet my bud for lunch at Baby Dolls every now and then. So, not to sound arrogant, but I'm hot and he's not. When a stripper finds the balls to approach our table, who do they open first, EVERY TIME???

My bud gets opened, while I sit there ignored. They're too intimidated of me. I saw it happen a dozen times or so before I finally realized that deep down inside, women are petrified of making a bad first impression with the really hot guy. Once I open them, then they'll talk, but if I don't open them, they'll run off to the next table without saying a word to me.

That's why you'll notice, if two women enter a bar, sit at a booth where they're totally unapproachable, unless someone like us approaches them, they'll leave an hour later without even talking to a member of the opposite sex. They simply won't approach men...at least not very often.

That's what drives me NUTS about phone game. They're too shy to pick up the phone and talk for fear of making a bad first impression. Yet, based on what I know about how shy women are, it's not like they have all these other options that we incorrectly assume they do. If she's a stripper, she might have a ton of options. If she's a normal girl, she doesn't have that many options. Remember, 90% of the eligible guys who think she's hot don't have the stones to approach and of those who do, most fuck it up with AFC conversation skills.

[Finesse]

I've noticed that too. Women have AA much worse than we do. Even if they were able to overcome it, their female friends would quickly label them a slut.

I meet my bud for lunch at Baby Dolls every now and then. So, not to sound arrogant, but I'm hot and he's not. When a stripper finds the balls to approach our table, who do they open first, EVERY TIME???

My bud gets opened, while I sit there ignored. They're too intimidated of me. I saw it happen a dozen times or so before I finally realized that deep down inside, women are petrified of making a bad first impression with the really hot guy. Once I open them, then they'll talk, but if I don't open them, they'll run off to the next table without saying a word to me.

That's why you'll notice, if two women enter a bar, sit at a booth where they're totally unapproachable, unless someone like us approaches them, they'll leave an hour later without even talking to a member of the opposite sex. They simply won't approach men...at least not very often.

That's what drives me NUTS about phone game. They're too shy to pick up the phone and talk for fear of making a bad first impression. Yet, based on what I know about how shy women are, it's not like they have all these other options that we incorrectly assume they do. If she's a stripper, she might have a ton of options. If she's a normal girl, she doesn't have that many options. Remember, 90% of the eligible guys who think she's hot don't have the stones to approach and of those who do, most fuck it up with AFC conversation skills.

I have to agree with this Theory..... My ex is a prime example. I would give her an 8 on both the social and looks ladders. (Fenix what would you rate her?) But she has been calling me recently wallowing in her own self pity, trying to get back with me, kiss me, hug me, and so on.

She has tons of friends, knows tons of people. At LEAST double of what I know, I know this because I was always jealous of it when we were together she would know everyone. The problem is, as someone in their signature said, "Men look for reasons to have sex, women look for reasons not to have sex." She hasn't been able to find any viable mates since me, and everybody she meets she compares to me. Which makes me laugh, because she always complained about how bad of a boyfriend I was..... all of a sudden im not that bad. HILARIOUS! Hey, the bitch filed 2 false police reports against me, I have a right to laugh at her misfortune. I prolly shouldnt though.

And in my last debriefing, I was told that she wanted a man that would have the balls to approach her like I did, regardless of where she is and who shes with (which is mostly men she isnt in a relationship with).

People if you ARE NOT debriefing the women after the deed is done you should be.... It truly is the BEST feedback you will get for the rest of your game.

[Alphagame]

++++People if you ARE NOT debriefing the women after the deed is done you should be.... It truly is the BEST feedback you will get for the rest of your game.++++

Ok, you have my attention with this. Are you saying that after you end things with a chick, you are calling them and asking them for advice on what you did right and what you did wrong? I mean, obviously, if you dumped them, you must have done everything right. So I guess you're primarily doing this with chicks who lost interest in you? What about the chicks who screen you to VM in phone game or just stop returning text messages?

Will women you've already gamed actually help you to become better at "game"? I'm all ears here.

[Finesse]

I said it vaguely but I didnt use exact words. What I meant by "doing the deed" was, after the first time you have had sex with a woman, you want to debrief them.

The questions I ask are (guys if you do this feel free to post the ones you use):

When did you know you were first attracted to me?

When did you know you were going to seduce me and have your way with me?

What attracted you the most to me?

I ask every girl I have slept with those questions, and it has helped me out immensly. I even ask ex's, "What did you like most about me?" "Least?" in aaddition to the other 3.

You do this in person, if youve just slept with them, or if you have an ex you cant text or do it over the phone.

If its a lost cause then you didnt get far enough for these questions to really register, so forget about it.

[Twitchy]

I ask every girl I have slept with those questions,

So...you've asked 1 person????

[Finesse]

damn you that was our secret!!!....do you still have that wig by the way.. if i return it I can get my money back?

[playercool]

Hrmm this turned into a pretty good thread. I appreciate everyone's advice on this matter. There is no doubt I handled this wrong in so many ways. While I get a lot of proximity this is one of the few times recently a girl has actually approached me therefore the errors.

There is some really good advice in this thread that you guys posted relating to much more than my original question.

++++People if you ARE NOT debriefing the women after the deed is done you should be.... It truly is the BEST feedback you will get for the rest of your game.++++

I do this as well. After you have done the deed it's almost like anything you want to talk about is fair game. At least that has been my experience. I ask all sorts of questions as to why they were into me. This is the greatest feedback you can get.

Remember, 90% of the eligible guys who think she's hot don't have the stones to approach and of those who do, most fuck it up with AFC conversation skills.

I know it is hard to get into this mindset. But man if you can make yourself believe this and approach some of these women they will become attracted to you. I remember hearing a model being interviewed one day. She was asked something like who are you dating or whatever. Her answer was I am single because guys don't ask me out. Bam if you had the stones you could prob get that model.