FR: Kareoke

[Tribulus1000]

12/30 Saturday Night

I go out alone with no social proof. My regular wings aren't available, so ok. I go out alone.

This field report confirms two theories I've been working with: 1. Venue Selection Theory and 2. Attraction Systems.

Let's begin with Venue Selection theory. (post coming soon)
I've been out a time or two. In 2006, I did 500 approaches and went to almost every bar in Dallas and Fort Worth. (Most meat markets anyway).
Well, I noticed I did better in smaller venues or on off-nights. I made a list of the places I did good and looked for key factors.

The factors were:
higher f:m raio, more IOI's from girls when I entered, slower nights, smaller venues, and venues with an "edge" of some kind.

I dubbed it Venue Selection Theory, as it was only a theory.

The smaller venues contributed to the Scarcity principle (Cialdini) whereas the larger venues seemed to have many guys standing around thus making you not a scare resource. This is not good for compliance, which is the goal.

The general idea being that if you want to be a scarce resource, you should go to a place where there are not too many males and the females are social.

Smaller venues offer this as opposed to giant meet markets where females are confused by all the male bodies in the room.

Attraction Systems
John Alanis speaks about attraction systems. These are fixed systems that offer one or more attraction qualities such as social proof or scarcity or Authority (see Cialdini).

An example of an attraction system is public speaking which bestows Authority onto the speaker. You can literally walk out and use this to get compliance on female attendees.

Saturday 12/30:

I went to kareoke spot #1. This is a new place I started going to. The place was not crowded early on but I did a song and got some social proof.

Actually, kareoke is a great attraction system in that the singer on stage
is imbued with alot of Authority and if you can get into a set, you have social proof.
Jaliax (Jeffy from RSD) uses kareoke often as well.

So a singer on stage singing a good song that everyone knows somehow gains a mental link to the song and thus is semi-famous in the venue.

(Sorry for all the science. I'm drunk right now).

Ok so set #1.

I get invited into set #1. A big group of people steals my table as I was selecting a song.
Set #1 sees this and they chime in. One girl askes me "what happened, did someone steal your table?"
I say yes and why didn't she guard it for me?

(See the reframe? Turning situations into opportunties for girls to qualify themselves)

Well she says she didn't know and why don't I sit down with their group?
Cool. I do. And one girl buys me a free beer. Yes!

So we sing some songs.

I do a few. Things are going well. Set #1 has alot of married chicks and the ones that aren't married aren't real flirty.

So... Set #2 is there.

Set #2 has a few really hot chicks in it. #2 has a brunette girl who is a 9.0 solid and her friend also a 9.0 who looks like Kirsten Dunst.

The Brunette gets up and sings Jewel songs really well. She's tried out for American Idol. She's hot. Real cute.
I qualify her by saying "You better get up and impress me with your singing."

(This is Commitment and Consistency pure and simple).

She gets up and sings and then says at some point "I hope you liked it."

Damn guys. I mean seriously....come on...I'm a balding guy. Girls don't say this shit to me. Ever.

Thus the power of the forces at work.

We have social proof and authority working in my favor and this chick just gave me some solid IOI's.

Well the night wears on and she sings once more. Her friends also sing some and so do some of the friends from set #1.

At this point, I'm picking my sets. Personally, I don't care. I wanna get some tail.

As the kareoke bar ends, set #1 is leaving and I've found out that one girl likes me but is kinda shy. The girl who invited me in is married and the other girls are very quiet.
They leave. Set #2 is going over to another bar. We bounce.

I walked ahead of them and they say "Are we stalking you?" and I'm like "Hope not". Flipping the script.

We got to kareoke bar #2.

The hot brunette 9 wants to sing. I haven't unraveled all the relationship status' of all concerned. And she askes me about my crew, in other words, set #1.

I tell her they had to go home and alot of them had to work. No biggie.

She seems interested.

I walk away a few times. Then I catch her looking at me. And I'm cool about it.

She does a song while I open another set. Two redneck chicks from some small town.

I use her as social proof. I tell them she's my friend. Again she kicks ass on stage. This girl needs a recording contract.

The night ends with me saying goodbye to set #2 and their friends. Brunette says she will probably see me again. I hope so.

The brunette had a guy with her. He was kind AFC...a little clingy...he seemed to be with her on some level. But she kept giving me IOI's.
I have no idea what their relationship was. I did befriend him and he bought me drinks.
Is he an orbiter? A BF?

I was totally working on some Juggler-esce stuff. I needed to pull the HB9 brunette aside and say "I really like you singing. I think you're sexy".
Damn. I didn't have the opportunity.

Also drank too much.

I have been very compimentary and sincere in the past. I need to use that with my attaction and get double the reward miles. If I had done that and also been very domineering, I probably would have been fucking that chick right now instead of writing this shit.

Note to self.


Comments?

-Trib out

[Tribulus1000]

Please comment on this if you are not a keyboard jockey. I went out and DID these sets.
What I need to know is, how do I further this approach and get laid???


Twitchy?

[playercool]

Here is my take. I wasn't there so I am basing it all on what you told us.

No Kino
No Escalation
No Isolation(with target)

Seems like a friendly talk. She was giving you IOI's to be friendly???

I never compliment until I am deep into rapport and have definate attraction.

Goodluck,

playercool

[Finesse]

I will actually agree with playercool to an extent. Didnt seem like there was much escalation or isolation.

I have recently been trying out the list Sinn mentioned on his blog,

http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2007/12/be-proactive.html

Open set before I order a drink- Check
Don't eject until you've tried to qualify- Check
Approach the hottest sets in the venue-Check
Approach at least 1 mixed set- Check
Try to move every set- Check
Push sexual frames- Check
Number close 25 mins in-Check
No more than 4 drinks- Check
Seed bounces- Check

It just sounds as if you didnt know what to do because you were thinking "Holy shit, this never happens to me, is it too good to be true?" and you just let that frame take control of you. I've caught myself doing that several times.

But the main thing I see, is it's like youre just going with the flow to see what happens instead of taking control. And in the end of your post,

I have been very compimentary and sincere in the past. I need to use that with my attaction and get double the reward miles. If I had done that and also been very domineering, I probably would have been fucking that chick right now instead of writing this shit.

you have already pegged what your problem was. IMO

You just needed to push the envelope more.

[El Fenix]

Take the lead isint just a stupid movie about dancing. It applies here too. I need to work on this myself, so I understand.
Youre more of a chill personality, so maybe there is a series of exercises or missions you can develop or do to take more control in interactions. If you find anything like that let me know

[Tribulus1000]

Thanks guys. Try kareoke sometime.

It just sounds as if you didnt know what to do because you were thinking "Holy shit, this never happens to me, is it too good to be true?" and you just let that frame take control of you. I've caught myself doing that several times.

Yeah to some extent. I get attraction but I usually have to work my ass off for it, which means open sets until I get enough social proof going.
The kareoke "system" is a way to do this on stage and then get attraction instantly, almost like you're a celebrity or some shit.

I did get the initial phases of qualification. Any challenge or hoop is also a qualification.
My telling her to sing and do a good job for me is a hoop, and it sets up a challenge for her to do. She makes a commitment and follows through.

Where I feel I fell short was the reward (as Juggler says) at the end. Rewarding effort.

This is where I will be working.

What sucks about the game is that you want to work on a certain step but you have to start over from the beginning each time.

[Finesse]

What sucks about the game is that you want to work on a certain step but you have to start over from the beginning each time.

Very true, but in the process you start recognizing and and developing ways to like slingshot you past the steps in the fastest way you already know how to do.

[playercool]

Not to mention you will be badass at all of the steps leading up to that one you are working on.

[Tribulus1000]

The correct spelling is Karaoke.

My 2008 song list will be:
1. Rick James - Superfreak. My signature song. Why? Cause its about a very kinky girl.
2. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
3. Crazy - Aerosmith
4. What I got - Sublime
5. Short Skirt, Long Jacket - Cake
6. "You're nobody til somebody loves you"
7. "Ain't that a kick in the head" 6&7 by Dean Martin.
8. Ice Ice Baby by Vinilla Ice.

A few of you have actually witnessed my awesome kick ass version of Superfreak.
Well, I'm bringing it back in 08 baby.

Oddly enough I started doing karaoke to get over approach anxiety when I first started in 2005. I used to get some attraction after songs.
I've come full circle with it.

Blow Derrick...

-Trib

[Finesse]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75qXUfp4wtw

Bitch!