WF: Situational advice

[Westfall]

Note: I am not asking for advice such as "forget about her" , "you have one-itus" or "she has too much value to you". I am seeking advice as to how to make this girl an LTR.

Two years ago I met this girl on Myspace. She's now a freshman in college, and I've been chatting with her more and more lately. Everytime I talk to her she seems super interested. She's a hopeless romantic like me, and I feel I have a genuine emotional connection with her--this is rare for me because I don't typically feel this way with any girls.

The conv. we had Sunday was awesome. I did a lot of build rapport/break rapport & got her very emotoinal. I told her "I have plans with some friends this weekend, but next weekend we're going out".

She expressed that she would be back home then...but seemed like she wanted very much to go anyway. I told her "it's a suprise".

I've never met her in person. But I can tell she has the qualities I seek in a LTR. She appericates my eccentric nature, and we have many similar passions in life, e.g. Travel, Penguins, etc. Sunday she told me she would love to fall asleep in my arms. She asked me about my opinion on abortion. After telling her they tickle, I used this to communicate that I'm non-judgemental.

But when I look at her Myspace I see all this drama with her and her ex (who is a complete chode)...she says she loves him and wants to get back with him, and evidently they're still having sex/etc when she goes back home. She's listed her status as single, and has NEVER even mentioned him to me....it's like they're in relationship purgatory. This is puzzling to me, as judging from my interactions with her she seems to at the very least want to date/make love to me, if not be my girlfriend.

Strange. I don't know what to think of this.

Anywho, she lives about 3 hours away in between Fayetteville and Little Rock.

I was thinking of inviting her to hang with me in one of those two cities, perhaps going Ice skating, then to a nice brazilan steak house, and finally climb a mountain to overlook the city--covered in Christmas lights.

I've already told her I don't sleep with girls until I have a deep emotional connection. So many guys seem to overly focus on making a physical connection when making an emotional connection is what is really important.

I also thought of asking her "Are you Katie?" then turning away disapointed and walking to my car as if I'm just going to leave. Then turn and laugh "Just kidding!" Emotional roller coaster type stuff.

She's probably only an HB7, but I'd rather be with her than the vast majority of girls I've met.

Also thinking about texting her "I am going to cover your body wit Chocolate and then eat you all night long"

Followed 2 mins later with "Oops, I meant to send that to a bowl of ice cream. Sorry I got your hopes up"

Westfall

[EL CHUPACABRA]

Tough one brother...
1st off from my personal experience I would rather have met a woman on the street, club, bar ect..... you know 1st person. However, A lot of younger people are meeting on myspace now as well as personals. I have both but have not met anyone that I didn't already know....you know from years past like high school ect. The draw back to meeting someone like this is you may end up really asking her"Are you Katie?" and then turning around jumping in that car of yours and smoking the tires all the way down the road!
So if you have made up your mind and really want to go through this after my last point I made you should think about that "relationship purgatory"you spoke of. Don't think that you are gonna steal her from a guy that obviously has her emotionally wrapped up. Females are wonderful at the art of manipulation, I know 1st hand I was married at one time.
After considering all of these things if you go for it in the fine words off a classic (dazed and confused) "Don't let her know how much you like her cause she'll leave you just like that...snap!"....that's all I'm saying.. Hope I was some help!

[EL CHUPACABRA]

Also thinking about texting her "I am going to cover your body wit Chocolate and then eat you all night long"

Followed 2 mins later with "Oops, I meant to send that to a bowl of ice cream. Sorry I got your hopes up"

Thats funny stuff by the way.... I'm sending it to a chick right now!

[El Fenix]

Dude...Let's point out the land mines on this one.....

You "met" her 2 years, but have never met her face to face in that time.
Also, if she's 19 now, she was 17 then. Your well "older" than that shall we say. If you had full closed her when you met her, it would be illegal in some places.
She is still having issues with her ex/still sleeping with him.
She lives 3 hours away from you.

This one has red flags all over the place. Do what you want, but hate to say I told you so.

[dubya]

Fuck it.

You want to meet this girl? Then meet her. It could be a really stupid expeirence. She could seriously flake on you. She may stay with her ex. She could turn out to be nothing like you imagined. She might be a fat bald hair man named Guido who wants to shove cheesecake up your ass.

But none of that matters.
Because there is a chance that she may actually be cool. Go for it dude. I'd rather have the mis-adventure then regret not taking action.

Did I mention that about eight years ago I lost my virginity to a girl I met online? It was a stupid expeirence. She had major issues with her previous boyfriend who mentally, verbally and enventually physically abused her. I believe she expected some of the same from me. Also at that point in time I was a completely different person with almost no social skills at all. But I thought I was in love with this chick. I drove over a thousand miles to meet this girl in PA. There is no way I would do that shit now... but... I still smile when I think about it and I'm glad that I did it then.

Go for what you want. If you find that it isn't exactly what you thought it might be, thats cool... you can deal with that then. You still went for it. Thats all that matters.

Wesley.

[zine]

Fuck it.

You want to meet this girl? Then meet her. It could be a really stupid expeirence. She could seriously flake on you. She may stay with her ex. She could turn out to be nothing like you imagined. She might be a fat bald hair man named Guido who wants to shove cheesecake up your ass.

But none of that matters.
Because there is a chance that she may actually be cool. Go for it dude. I'd rather have the mis-adventure then regret not taking action.

Did I mention that about eight years ago I lost my virginity to a girl I met online? It was a stupid expeirence. She had major issues with her previous boyfriend who mentally, verbally and enventually physically abused her. I believe she expected some of the same from me. Also at that point in time I was a completely different person with almost no social skills at all. But I thought I was in love with this chick. I drove over a thousand miles to meet this girl in PA. There is no way I would do that shit now... but... I still smile when I think about it and I'm glad that I did it then.

Go for what you want. If you find that it isn't exactly what you thought it might be, thats cool... you can deal with that then. You still went for it. Thats all that matters.

Wesley.

Very eloquent, inspirational, and well written dubya.

A word of warning though westfall I have had some bad experiences online where the girl turned out to either not look at all like the picture like the angel winged goddess of lipo last halloween, or was totally different than the personality she displayed online. Focus on the present when you meet her, and don't let the way she was online determine what you think of her when you meet her. I have also met some amazing women off of the internet, some that I've been seeing for over a few months (that's alot for me). They can cook me dinner, give me massages, and be just as fun and inspirational as anyone else I've met in my life. Have a fun day celebrate it, and what happens after that doesn't matter right now.

[Tribulus1000]

I agree with dubbya for the most part.

One of the things you need to realize is that

GIRLS HAVE SEX. PEOPLE HAVE SEX!

Just be comfortable with women having sex and soon they'll be having sex with you.

Don't be weird about girls fucking. Don't insinuate judgements on it other than you're ok with it.

WF, this is a biggie. I mean it.

[Twitchy]

http://twitchypua.blogspot.com/2007/11/ ... first.html

[Bull Run]

http://twitchypua.blogspot.com/2007/11/one-third-of-women-have-sex-on-first.html

When I read WF's first post, this article came to mind. Alas, I couldn't find it in my archives. Great stuff, glad someone had it. BTW, I've found the conclusions in this article are pretty accurate.

[El Fenix]

BTW, this thread has morphed from WF's"I want to make her a LTR"
to "you should just full close her."
I'm just saying.....