This is not for the forum-hosted meetup events, but for meeting up with another individual or group of people from the boards in any unofficial capacity. These are not rules, but things we should aspire to.
What I want to do here is to create a framework that facilitates between guys who go out of ALL skill levels for when you go out. So if you have ideas for any way to make for a more fun and successful night for everyone involved, please add your comments. My current thoughts on a framework are below.
For newbies:
No talking theory. Talking shop can be fun, but we don't want to talk about talking to chicks when we could be talking to chicks. Most guys will be more than happy to debrief at a diner at 2:30 AM. Another reason is that we want to keep in a social and talkative mood. Other guys from the forum have other hobbies and interests you can chat about if you are between sets. Which leads me into the next thought:
Approach as much as possible. It's ok to take a break. Just be aware when you are doing it, and be ready to break out of your shell.
Pickup doesn't cost a thing. You don't need to spend any money on coaches, bootcamps, or material. There is plenty of know-how on these boards. You don't need to read a book in order to talk to women. If you would like to do so, then that is your prerogative. The truth is, you don't need to spend your cash to improve - there are plenty of guys here who learned and are willing to pass on what they learned.
Be respectful when meeting people’s friends. When someone from the boards introduce you to their friends, you can dial back the "pickup persona" a bit. A sure way to wear out your welcome is by weirding out someone's friends. Lucky for me, I was just an asshole...
Curb your expectations of more experienced guys. Going out with people who are more experienced than you is a great way to learn, but be aware that people who have more experience than you are still just people. Don't put them on a pedestal, and don't expect them to be crazy stuff all the time. I think that "The Game" gave people some unrealistic expectations. That said...
Watching can be weird. I appreciate that you want to learn, but realize that watching someone else can make them feel really uncomfortable. Try to be a little discreet when you observe.
Is walking in on sets ok? The above point is that most people can tell when someone is watching them so you need to make a decision instead of standing there. You have two options - either say something to be introduced to the set or clear out. This is something you will have to coordinate beforehand, as different wingmen prefer different things.
For more experienced folks:
Be patient. If someone is showing signs of learning and progress, there's no need to get frustrated. We are ALL learning.
Lead by example. There's a fine balance to be struck between "showing" and "showing off", but there is a lot of intangible benefit of showing instead of telling. Which also leads to...
Be humble. Be honest about what you can and can't do, it's very easy to get your ego inflated when someone thinks you are good. Keep in mind what you want to work on and plug away at it.
Practice what you preach. Don't offer up advice that you yourself haven't done or seen done yourself. Put proper disclaimers on anything you recommend. Yeah, everyone's a hypocrite to some degree, but aspire to embrace what you hold to be true.
For everyone:
Assume good faith. If there's ever any friction, a good rule is usually that there's just a misunderstanding or miscommunication and not anything malicious going on. Everyone is just trying to do what they think is best.
No talking shit on other guys. Yeah, drama can be exciting. But ultimately what someone does shouldn't affect you. You don't have to like everyone. Your best bet is to just not hang out with the people you don't get along with. And guess what? People change, and this is especially true when we are all working to improve ourselves. Someone you may not have liked a few months ago, you may suddenly click with.
Try not to be negative. I'd say refrain from commenting on someone's approach if you are new. For those that have some experience, if you are going to give feedback make sure that is warranted and framed as positive as possible. Be supportive of your fellow forum-goers.
Have fun. This is why we're really out, right? Well, besides meeting women I guess.
