Want To Meet My Friend Who gets 4 Dates a Week?

[ninjamatt]

isiman, I'm sorry we apparently got off on the wrong foot.

From what my friends have told me about the dating sites, women do them b/c they are looking for long term relationships. So if that is true, and that leads to marriage, most women want kids. So think about the prospective kid for a moment. First, you are bringing a kid into the world, who has no racial identity to 99% of the other kids in the world. So they are always on the outside looking in. 8 year old Debbie's mom has to explain to her why your kid looks a little different and why you are sitting in the stands at a ball game, with your kids white mother. It's an awkward and stressful social dynamic for a lot of people, especially your own child. How does the ridicule shape them growing up? When they are grown up, how hard is it for them to find a mate? I'm not sure what the logic would be behind a white woman having a mixed child. I can see it from the standpoint of, if the black man has a higher social status, but there you are possibly dipping in to the poor, or the overweight, or the ugly, or the less fortunate which you have to ask yourself if that's what YOU want. Then again, I know of situations where at least one hot woman married a black man she met in a club. She told a friend of mine one night, she clubbed for 3 years and he was the only guy who could treat her right. I would find it easy to believe it's difficult for a black man to find a white woman on a dating website for that reason.

Second, white society sort of frowns on interracial relationships, probably even more than it should but it's there and will always be there in our life times. It's a theory the grandparents hand down to the parents and they hand down to the prospects you have now. The white community is trained to think it's a step down the social status ladder to date blacks. Blacks think it's a step up the social ladder. I can give you an example based on working in 2 inner city call centers and clubbing in mixed clubs the last 11 years. I would guess that if I approach 100 white women I think I want to seduce (and consider I am very picky), maybe 10 of them I will get. Judging by how black women behave around me, in the club and in the office, my guess is if I wanted, I could seduce a much higher number, maybe close to half. There's some sexy black men in my office who try their damnedest to hook some of the black women and fail, but all I would have to do is snap my fingers to get several. But for me, I have no interest.

My point was you are not in an impossible situation. At the same time, same race relationships are extremely healthy for society and I think there are websites devoted to black people dating. You wanting to find a socially equal white woman for marriage online will always be a treacherous uphill climb unless or until there is a popular website devoted to it. But even then, black men looking may outnumber white women 100 to 1.

[voyager]

DallasPUA.com: where you can find an in-depth analysis on race relations.

[IsiMan84]

Haha. Oh geez, where to start. Didn't think I was getting too in-depth or anything, but a lot of that may be accurate. That being said, not sure on your sudden change of heart but I think it can be agreed that a lot of the people who have success in online dating are going to fall within a certain demographic. In fact I would go as far as to say a lot of the PUA advice one may receive could only work for guys within a certain demographic.

You'd be surprised the kind of stuff I've heard from people on the forum or elsewhere about things that they think are par for the course. Some of y'all don't realize how many free passes you're getting when dealing with some of these girls in person or online. Then there will be the guys who say race is no factor and you're not doing enough of *something*, yea I've heard that a million times before. Of course these guys have never tried their hand at a black club, nor would ever dream of doing so. When you've succeeded in an environment where there's ZERO room for error and half of your blowouts happen as you're opening your mouth, I'll be ready to listen.

The Match.com thing with my friend was just the tip of the iceberg. I'd been going out with mostly non-white wings in predominantly white parts of Dallas (aka anywhere north of I-30), and wondering why I wasn't gaining much ground. I figured I wasn't bringing the 'it' factor or applying myself. I'll blame myself before putting it on others. Okay, fair enough. But then finding out there were guys who had absolutely no skill whatsoever and were still getting numbers and the occasional lay, it made me wonder. What are they doing that I'm not?

1. Oh I know, he's coming with some hard-hitting lines. Let me listen in on a set real quick. Hmm, botched opinion opener. Clunky best friends test. Didn't know it was 2009...okay. Here come the interview questions, he's clearly run out of stuff to say. And they're still listening to him.

2. Maybe it's the body language. Nope, he's pecking like a motherfucker, slouching, and doesn't understand Kino escalation. Not one good habit whatsoever. They're still giving him the time of day.

3. He's gotta know so much material that it's all just way over my head. Oh you read The Game? That's a biography. A couple websites with generic advice? Hell I coulda told you to "be yourself" too. And...nothing else? Oh, you saw part of an episode of The Pickup Artist when flipping through the channels. So you've literally heard of Mystery. Yes, that's your ace in the hole. Pardon me.

And you still got her number.

So as you can see, it doesn't surprise me when some guys get a sense of entitlement and assume they're doing the right stuff. Or may offer advice that will clearly not work for me. These guys are usually never minorities.

Still not convinced? Still think I'm a whiny bitch looking for excuses? You're right, if only I had a real-life example. Well whaddya know, I do.

So me and a friend (both black) rode over to a chick's place with her friend after the bars. We chilled and drank for a while. After my friend went in the bedroom with one girl, the other one said she wasn't that type and wasn't going to sleep with me, and would rather call her ex-boyfriend who she was still banging. She seemed to be badmouthing her friend on a few accounts as well. I figured "that type" meant sleeping with a guy the same night she meets him. Okay, fair enough. Guess I didn't build enough attraction. Maybe next time.

Fast forward to the morning. I wake up on the couch and my friend comes out of the chick's bedroom. Of course he gets my "mission accomplished" high-five of approval. Cool shit bro. You got her number right? Let's go cause I'm hungry. Looks like she left her phone on the counter, might as well just check for yourself. Oh shit there's a text from her friend, she's probably letting her know she got home or something. But our curiosity got the best of us so let's have a look see.

OMG I can't believe you fucked a n*gger!

So that's the kind of stuff people say when we're not around, interesting. Cut to us setting the phone down and walking out the door, never to be seen again.

I haven't given up the good fight, but at the same time I don't want to hear there aren't external factors that can hold some guys back. Th-th-that's all folks. Happy sarging.

[ninjamatt]

DallasPUA.com: where you can find an in-depth analysis on race relations.

haha yea. for the amount of time I spent typing that shit I could of went out and picked up at least an 8