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A list of Open Ended Questions

PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:41 pm
by quipster
Someone else posted this on a different board but I believe this is from Juggler:

A simple formula for striking up a conversation: Begin with a statement about the location or occasion, then ask an open question. The best type of rapport-inducing statement is one linked to something you already have in common with the other person: the meeting or party you're attending, some fascinating current event—even the weather will do in a pinch! We call this a location/ occasion statement. Examples include:

"What an elegant room."
"Look at all that food."
"It was a wonderful service."

Open Ended Questions

Anywhere

Where are you from?

I've never been there. What's it like?

How did you end up here?

On a train, plane or bus

How long are you going to be in Majorca?

Where are you from?

Have you always lived there?
If yes, try: I've never been there. What's it like?
If no, then: So where else have you lived?

How long will you be traveling for?

What do you think of Amtrak/Air Italia/these new Greyhound buses?

At the supermarket

If you're both standing in the fresh-fish line, staring at a pasta display or checking out avocados, you already have something in common.

How can you figure out if there are enough mussels in that bag for two people?

Can you tell me the difference between fresh pasta and the stuff in a packet?

How can I tell if these are ripe?

Have you ever tried this kind of sauce/frozen dessert before?
If yes, then: How does it taste?/What is it like?
If no: Is there another kind that you'd recommend?

How long would you cook a chicken this big?

I forgot to pick up some pickled octopus. Do you mind saving my place in line?
(This can be a good icebreaker because you'll have an excuse to chat when you
get back—if only about the octopus. Don't be gone long, though, or you'll risk annoying the other party.)

In a hotel/motel lobby

Do you know where I can I get a map?

Have you stayed here before?
If yes: What's it like?
If no: Neither have I. So how did you come to choose this hotel?

Do you know this city at all?
If yes: I've got only one day here. What do you think is a must-see?
If no: So what brings you here?

At a convention

So where are you from?

What seminars have really grabbed you so far?

Do you know of any good restaurants outside of the hotel?

What did you think of the keynote speaker?

I'm going to get a coffee. Can I bring you one, too?

(Note: This gambit works in countless situations as a way to sound out other people's level of interest. Usually, if they're not interested, they will refuse your offer. If they
accept, it often means they're willing to interact further.)

At the Laundromat

Where can you get change around here?

Do you know where I can buy some postage stamps/ orange juice/cat food?

I'm going to get a coffee—can I bring you one, too?

Does it really matter if you mix whites and colors?

In line at a movie/play/concert

Why did you pick this movie/play/concert?

So are you here to see Neve Campbell or what's her name, the other star?

What did you think of the actor/author/performer's last film/play/CD?

In a long waiting line: Can you save my place so I can get a coffee? Can I get you one?

At an exhibition/museum/trade show/county fair

Wow, what do you think of that?

Do you know where the vintage locomotives are?

What's your favorite event/display/ride so far?

Have you seen the giant pumpkin yet?

Walking your dog or watching others walk theirs

He's adorable. What breed is he?

Great leash. Where did you get it?

So what are Chihuahuas really like, anyway?

PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:58 pm
by TheRussian
These questions seem like they are much too common... Shouldn't a PUA be the exception to the rule? I believe that the questions may need to be more emotionally charged and actually be leading the coversation somewhere where a deeper connection can be made other than fact collection.

PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:58 am
by Rhody
TheRussian wrote:These questions seem like they are much too common... Shouldn't a PUA be the exception to the rule? I believe that the questions may need to be more emotionally charged and actually be leading the coversation somewhere where a deeper connection can be made other than fact collection.

That's a good point. One thing Juggler suggests is BE PRESUMPTUOUS. So instead of asking, "where are you from?", you can ask, "are you visiting from California?" Instead of asking, "what do you do?", you can ask, "how long have you been a nurse?" It doesn't matter if you guess wrong. In fact, being wrong opens the conversation right up because she'll ask, "why did you think I was a nurse?" And you can tell her about her body language or the way her hands reveal that she cares for people or her white stockings and hat with the red cross on it (or scrubs, but that's boring). You can launch into a story about an ex-girlfriend who was a nurse but moved to California to study yoga with Ricky Williams. You can launch into roleplaying based off of your incorrect guess. "Let's quit our jobs. Then you can be a sexy nurse and I'll be a hunky fireman."

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 12:16 am
by TheRussian
Oh I like those! Where did you get that material? or is it original? I would like to see more of those presumptuous questions if you don't mind.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:37 am
by Finesse
Presumptious questions can be anything. Just take something youre already thinking about. You know the real stupid ones, like "What brings you here?", "What's your favorite one?" and just insert something nearby or something off the top of your head.

like

"So youre here for the tempura." or "Why's your favorite the shrimp?"

Yeah and its early and im hungry .... hence the food analogy beh. haha

this is a very GOOD technique. very useful.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:42 am
by Finesse
oh yeah I forgot.

like mystery said you want to make statements most of the time.... or maybe it was someone else... i dunno anyway statements mean youre assertive subcoinsiously, so she starts thinking alpha.

If you ask questions, be ready with some c&f,