Dear Uncle Dooshbag,
I've been working out and juicing up so that my body looks better and better. My chest and arms are bulking up nicely.
I wear stylish glasses and I sometimes "peacock" in bars. My friends and I hang out in a local bar and we talk about the girls who often come to that bar. We have regular meetings at the bar and we approach alot of ladies.
Eventhough I lie to my friends and I tell them that I get laid regularly, I really don't. The girls at the bar are stone cold b*tches.
The only thing I found that works is coke, caine that is and my sporty car.
I would really like to settle down and go with one girl or have sex with lots of women like I tell my friends.
Oh and all the beer and mixed drinks I drink make me look kinda fat eventhough I'm working out all the time.
What should I do?
~Zack
Hey Zack,
Well kid I hear ya. Its tough out there. There's alot of competition and its safe to say that the ladies are sometimes difficult to get with.
What concerns me is why you want to draw so much attention from your buddies. What is this about regular meetings? You guys get together and talk about the women? It would be better for you if you talked to them either in the daytime or at night.
Get some balls. Ditch your friends. See, people can see you when you approach the girls and run straight back to your buddies as if you're seeking their approval.
Ask yourself if Uncle Dooshbag would do that? He wouldn't. He'd approach with confidence and if he got shot down, no one would even know...he would look like a fucking champ in the bar. Even the girl herself would begin to think to herself "hmmm...why is he so confident, I just shot him down. Maybe he's an alpha afterall." And the other girls would see this too and think "Who is THAT guy?"
Also you say you peacock and you wear stylish glasses? Well my friend, glasses ain't hip and if the clothes you wear aren't geting you the results you want, better check your wardrobe at the door cause it ain't getting you no tail.
You say you lie to your friends about getting laid...well that's normal. All guys do that. Just learn to not really give a fuck what they think and stop seeking their approval.
The girls see you in the bar with your buddies. The truth is if those guys aren't bringing you women, they're not helping you. And if they're acting like clowns, guess what you are?? A fucking clown.
You won't get any tail until you hang out with guys that can actually help you. If you're a loner, just go online to PlentyofFish or some other site.
Once you get laid a few times, you won't care about what all your friends think or even what the other broads think.
The part about the cocaine kinda scares me. You should stop using and go straight up. We don't want to read about you in the newspaper under obituaries.
The working out part is fine. Bars have free water. But don't be a cheap ass. Leave them a dollar for their service.
As long as you're cleaning up, you should try for the "nice" girls instead of the bar bitches. Trust me, its easier on your nerves.
That's it for now.
~ Uncle Dooshbag ~
