Noticing Qualifying vs. Forcing Qualifying
Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:40 pmHere's a technique that will save you alot of time. Instead of forcing a qualification question like "What do you have going for you other than your looks?" which can often be abrupt and be out of context, try this instead...
Develop a Qualification Detector.
When people do a behavior, its not just words. The whole organism acts in unison. The body language, the facial gestures, the tonality and word choice all conicide.
So if you watch for this in a normal conversation, you will see it (or hear it).
Is is obvious? Yes if you know what to observe. Its mostly tonality and what the fact that they're telling you too much information.
She says "Well I live on the corner of 5th and Main street and the other day I was going outside and it was sunny."
The "5th and Main" part is too much information. If you were a stalker/rapist/weirdo she would not give out those kinds of details. Since she is doing so, means she probably likes you.
That's all good.
But how does one develop a "Qualification Detector"? Well, you can notice all those things I mentioned like body language, tonality, etc.
One way is to replay what you heard and saw at a later time and see if you can actually feel what she might have felt. You can do this in your mind or actually act it out.
This is a great way of calibrating how others feel.
Once you can tell if you've got natural qualification, then you can move onto complimenting her and letting her know that you like her too.
T
Develop a Qualification Detector.
When people do a behavior, its not just words. The whole organism acts in unison. The body language, the facial gestures, the tonality and word choice all conicide.
So if you watch for this in a normal conversation, you will see it (or hear it).
Is is obvious? Yes if you know what to observe. Its mostly tonality and what the fact that they're telling you too much information.
She says "Well I live on the corner of 5th and Main street and the other day I was going outside and it was sunny."
The "5th and Main" part is too much information. If you were a stalker/rapist/weirdo she would not give out those kinds of details. Since she is doing so, means she probably likes you.
That's all good.
But how does one develop a "Qualification Detector"? Well, you can notice all those things I mentioned like body language, tonality, etc.
One way is to replay what you heard and saw at a later time and see if you can actually feel what she might have felt. You can do this in your mind or actually act it out.
This is a great way of calibrating how others feel.
Once you can tell if you've got natural qualification, then you can move onto complimenting her and letting her know that you like her too.
T