tools to comfort insecurity?

[isosceles cheese]

I think a perspective shift might dramatically shift my confidence issues. I was just sitting here in my office, when I should be working of course, thinking about some confidence issues.

Then it dawned on me, I've interpreted the "false time constraint" to be a tool that lets me talk to women and soothes their anxiety by thinking eventually, I'll leave (DHV aside). Then I realized its also a tool for me to use so if the HB is a waste, I can use it as an excuse to bail. Or if I panic and feel it going to shit, I can just jump out.

When I read shit like the game and mystery method, it makes me feel like a loser douche-bag who's duping these women into thinking I'm something I'm not.

If this has already been discussed ad nauseam, just delete the thread, sorry.


I desperately need to shift my perspective from "grasping at straws" to something more constructive where I can literally celebrate the virtuous celebration of selecting women, but still don't know how because I'm so hung up on myself.

[midman]

Look bud, you need to just snap out of that mindset. A couple of things...

1) Even though you might now have the confidence you're wanting, YOU CAN ALWAYS FAKE IT! Many people know about this. I recommend buying the audio book "The Secrets to Body Language in 30 Minutes" By Tony Wrighton. He has a bit in there about faking confidence and that book is quick and simple but informatable. I had a hard time using body language to convey confidence. Anyways, the audio book is good stuff. Hope you check it out.

2) You need to have the mindset that YOU ARE THE PRIZE, not whoever the girl is. Honestly, I've talked to many guys that tell me this, you will honestly start to feel that you have more value and that you are the Prize when you have that mindset. Keep thinking it and soon enough you'll start believing it. Everyday say, I am the prize, I am the man, or I am the better, or whatever, at least 10x throughout the day. It'll be stuck in you're head and you will start to believe it.

3) Confidence is all mental and who controls your mind? You Do!!! Control your mind and tell it that you are bigger than you think and that you don't have AA and that you can take on the world. (Girls think that confidence is sexy). If you want to practice confident body language but dont want to download the audio book, simply just watch "Ocean's Thirteen" and constantly watch the body language of George Clooney. Girls thought he was incredibly sexy just because of the confidence his character portrayed. (body language and slow smooth speech delivery).

[Solace]

Zan has said before "yes, I am the prize... but also she too is the prize"... just an interesting statement. You know, Midman is right. A few years ago, I had a lot more inner issues than I now have and I did exactly as he mentioned. I wrote them all down in their most natural form, as negative as they came to me. i also, just under them, wrote a positive affirmation for each.

As many times as the negative comes to mind you will have a stronger positive statement to fight it with! really does wonders.

Anyway, best advice: Dont compare yourself to the masterminds of PU....

[isosceles cheese]

Zan has said before "yes, I am the prize... but also she too is the prize"... just an interesting statement. You know, Midman is right. A few years ago, I had a lot more inner issues than I now have and I did exactly as he mentioned. I wrote them all down in their most natural form, as negative as they came to me. i also, just under them, wrote a positive affirmation for each.

As many times as the negative comes to mind you will have a stronger positive statement to fight it with! really does wonders.

Anyway, best advice: Dont compare yourself to the masterminds of PU....

My buddy got me talking about motorsports the other night, where I tend to go out on the track and crush motherfucker's souls. That pretty much hyped me up enough to approach, then half way through the night I rationalized that we're a walking virus with shoes, everything in life is predestined through chemistry, and I'm the center of the universe so fuck it and start talking. I have everything to gain and only shame to lose. I go into each set hoping the girl will give herself the chance to show me that she's not a typical money-grubbing gash and has emotions other than being a trashy whore.

[Kit]

I don't get why you're so against "canned" shit or pre-planned techniques like the time constraint.

Everything you say "naturally" is really canned. Did you make up the racing terms you sling around? Oh, you didn't? You canned mutha fukka!



In my opinion learned canned stuff isn't any different from reading a book on how to race. You learn it and it becomes your own. You make adjustments to it to fit your current needs.

The way you dress is canned. Your hair style is canned. Unless you made all this stuff up yourself?

What I am saying is anytime we learn something we are taking someone else's material and adding it to our own arsenal and eventually making it our own even though it really isn't our own.

Let's suppose a hot girl at a bar had been approached by two track racers before you and then you walk up to her and start telling her all about racing. She's going to think you're one unoriginal sob. Obviously not a lot of people race so that's not likely, but the point is that it's not the material that matters, it's only if she has heard the material or if she recognizes why you're giving her a time contraint, etc. - even if she knows she's being played, she still may like it if you're good at it. Women want to be seduced, entertained and eventually dominated or controlled. They won't use those words. Instead they will say they like decisive men.