"My Friend" -- How do I field test this.....

[Guest]

I can't remember where I read this, possibly the first MM handbook?. But it was something to the effect that if you tell a girl a story, and refer to the protagonist in the story as "my friend" she will somehow subconsciously assume, you're talking about yourself, and associate the friend's behavior with yours.

The rule of thumb thus went, if you're telling a story about a friend, in which the friend is portrayed in a negative light, always use the person's name so that there can be no (subconscious) mistake that you are talking about yourself or that she won't associate the character in the story with you. Conversely, if you tell a story that puts a friend of yours in a positive light, and use the phrase "my friend" it could act as a DHV, and she will associate that person's actions with yours.

I have no idea how such a thing was ever field tested, but it's something I read early on and internalized, and find myself doing regularly in social interaction. If I'm telling a story about a friend who is a fuck-up, for instance, I make sure to deflect all negative associations with me and this person by using their name throughout the course of the story. And I assume this works, I guess.

But there is something else I've noticed that I do when I tell stories. If I happen to be gaming more than one girl at a time, sometimes I might want to tell the one girl a funny or DHV story about the other girl without revealing the nature of our relationship. I find that in those situations I find myself not using the girl's name, but rather saying "a friend" as opposed to "my friend."*

This "a friend" reference to the other girl on the side has been so ingrained in my subconsciousness that I often wonder if girls ever pick up on it -- the difference between "a" and "my". In fact the other day, I deliberately used the term "a friend" when referring to something I did with a male friend, hoping that this girl would somehow infer that I was speaking about another woman I'm seeing on the side. I have no idea if this worked.

Because I don't understand how the first principal was ever field tested, I really have no way of knowing if my tactic is any good, and I was wondering if anyone had any good idea on how to accurately field test something like this.

[I]*I've noticed that if I do tell a story in which I either use another girl's name or say "this girl I once dated" that automatically works as a DHV. But usually, I'm talking about an actual friend (when I use the name outright) or someone I am not currently seeing (when I say "this girl I dated).[/I]

[Guest]

Elude to the fact that you have many or at least a few purely platonic chick friends. That in itself is a DHV, and it (hopefully) works in your favor as you intend it. I have a ton of chick friends...I used to always bring up that fact...and many times would use them as unknowing wings to prove the fact. They're good to have!

[Guest]

Wow, bringing back memories. Here's a thread from about 3 years ago:
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?p=8172#post8172[/URL]

I remember talking about the friend assumption. I think the "a friend" language is just common sense. There's no way to get any quantifiable results in the field. Being vague creates mystery, so use that to your advantage. It seems like you already field tested it, and I agree with your conclusions.

[Guest]

Style brought this up in he discussion that he had about the Jelous GF opener. When he said my friend, the set asked him if the friend was him. But when he said the name of the person they did not. I have field tested this myself and know this to be true. I also used Jelous GF and accidentally left out the name and was asked if I was the friend.

Try it for yourself. Even before you finish the story you will feel the desire to correct yourself and say that it is not you. And to compensate for that you will just add your friends name as a lame attempt to fix your error.

Not sure if there is a difference between using "a" vs "my". Or even if the change causes a significant impact.