Don't Tread On Me
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:51 pmThis is a follow up post to my [link=http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?29772]Solo Sarging[/link] post.
Here are the techniques that I used to help me become comfortable with sarging on my own:
1) Remove as many variables as possible. When I solo sarged, I would usually make sure to hit up places in which I knew what to expect. I knew the layout of the bar, how the traffic flowed through the bar, what the atmosphere was, what type of people went to the bar, etc. When you have a good understanding of these items, you take some variables out of the equation. In other words, when you know what to expect BEFORE you begin to interact with anyone, then you don't have to worry about processing variables beyond running sets and being social.
2) Become a regular. There are a handful of bars in the city where the bouncers or bartenders know me. Not necessarily by name or anything about me, just by the fact that they've seen me so much. When I first started solo sarging, I would attend the same bars over and over, usually on the same nights. Again, it makes the places you go feel more at home, which allows you to feel more comfortable, thus promoting a social feel.
3) Make yourself known. This kind of goes along well with point 2. When I would attend these bars, I'd make sure to create a bit of a pattern for my actions. For example, one bar I would shoot pool at the same table every time I went there. Another was karaoke. I would make sure to sing, in front of the crowd, every week (usually something that made being opened easy like "I'm Too Sexy," "Mr. Roboto," or "Stayin' ALive."). This may be difficult at first, and may not be feasible for any one at any point, but I'm a bit of a ham so it was congruent to my personality.
4) Humble yourself. Go to a bar one night. Find the seat at the bar right next to the biggest flow of traffic...in other words, you are right next to the place where everyone orders their drinks and what not. Then, are you ready for this, sit there all night without talking to a single person. You know what you'll learn? That NO ONE gives a shit about you in the least. You are nothing to everyone in that bar. Once you understand this, approaching isn't hard because they're only going to remember you for a short while because you are nothing to them. Sounds harsh, but its the truth.
5) Get out of town. I posted on this once, right [link=http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?20806.post]here[/link]. When you get out of town, you leave all of the baggage holding you back behind. You are literally reborn. Further, there is nothing wrong with going to a bar when you are out of town...actually, people find it admirable. Can you say DHV? Finally, being out of town sets the tone with your target. She knows it's a one night thing and, as such, she's more willing for a one-night stand than otherwise.
6) Finally, and this is the most important lesson I learned and have continued to exploit it ever since, have a chip on your shoulder. Seriously. You need to walk in that bar with the attitude of: "don't tread on me!" You are there to prove something, not to them, not to your friends, not to the people that have rejected you in the past, but to YOURSELF. You are there to prove that you are as cool as you think you are. When you are solo sarging, you have NO allies, NO friends, NO support system. It is YOU vs THEM, quite literally. You are the underdog, you are going to show them something. We all love the underdog and when we think in those terms it makes you hungry, relentless, passionate. You give me the MOST skilled PUA in the WORLD and put him up against the MOST HUNGRY PUA in the WORLD and I'll bet on the hunger over the skill ANY DAY. It's not about what you CANNOT do, it's about what you CAN do.
Remember gentlemen, indifference is the difference.
See you in the scene.
Here are the techniques that I used to help me become comfortable with sarging on my own:
1) Remove as many variables as possible. When I solo sarged, I would usually make sure to hit up places in which I knew what to expect. I knew the layout of the bar, how the traffic flowed through the bar, what the atmosphere was, what type of people went to the bar, etc. When you have a good understanding of these items, you take some variables out of the equation. In other words, when you know what to expect BEFORE you begin to interact with anyone, then you don't have to worry about processing variables beyond running sets and being social.
2) Become a regular. There are a handful of bars in the city where the bouncers or bartenders know me. Not necessarily by name or anything about me, just by the fact that they've seen me so much. When I first started solo sarging, I would attend the same bars over and over, usually on the same nights. Again, it makes the places you go feel more at home, which allows you to feel more comfortable, thus promoting a social feel.
3) Make yourself known. This kind of goes along well with point 2. When I would attend these bars, I'd make sure to create a bit of a pattern for my actions. For example, one bar I would shoot pool at the same table every time I went there. Another was karaoke. I would make sure to sing, in front of the crowd, every week (usually something that made being opened easy like "I'm Too Sexy," "Mr. Roboto," or "Stayin' ALive."). This may be difficult at first, and may not be feasible for any one at any point, but I'm a bit of a ham so it was congruent to my personality.
4) Humble yourself. Go to a bar one night. Find the seat at the bar right next to the biggest flow of traffic...in other words, you are right next to the place where everyone orders their drinks and what not. Then, are you ready for this, sit there all night without talking to a single person. You know what you'll learn? That NO ONE gives a shit about you in the least. You are nothing to everyone in that bar. Once you understand this, approaching isn't hard because they're only going to remember you for a short while because you are nothing to them. Sounds harsh, but its the truth.
5) Get out of town. I posted on this once, right [link=http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?20806.post]here[/link]. When you get out of town, you leave all of the baggage holding you back behind. You are literally reborn. Further, there is nothing wrong with going to a bar when you are out of town...actually, people find it admirable. Can you say DHV? Finally, being out of town sets the tone with your target. She knows it's a one night thing and, as such, she's more willing for a one-night stand than otherwise.
6) Finally, and this is the most important lesson I learned and have continued to exploit it ever since, have a chip on your shoulder. Seriously. You need to walk in that bar with the attitude of: "don't tread on me!" You are there to prove something, not to them, not to your friends, not to the people that have rejected you in the past, but to YOURSELF. You are there to prove that you are as cool as you think you are. When you are solo sarging, you have NO allies, NO friends, NO support system. It is YOU vs THEM, quite literally. You are the underdog, you are going to show them something. We all love the underdog and when we think in those terms it makes you hungry, relentless, passionate. You give me the MOST skilled PUA in the WORLD and put him up against the MOST HUNGRY PUA in the WORLD and I'll bet on the hunger over the skill ANY DAY. It's not about what you CANNOT do, it's about what you CAN do.
Remember gentlemen, indifference is the difference.
See you in the scene.