Basic Social Skills

[Guest]

I read this post on Sinn's blog which is at:
[url]http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/[/url]

I presume Sinn won't mind the re-post. I have no affiliation to his company so I am genuinely posting this as good material IMO.

Anyways I don't always agree with this guy but in this case I think he is dead nuts on the money. My suprise is that more community guys or guys in general for that matter don't have this down. It is so basic and you get nowhere without it. Comfort before attraction. This is key key key.

I have posted before, years ago in fact, on the fact I believe comfort building is the purpose of the shit test / screen usually thrown out by girls within the first few minutes. They need to know you aren't creepy/weird/stalker/posessive/whatever. (girls are so whatever LOL). Anyway this basic glue (as Sinn puts it) gets u thru the initial shit tests and on to the part where you are screening / choosing them. Sometimes (often) you need very little time wise in display of social mastery but you always have to have done some.

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Sunday, November 30, 2008
Basic Social Skills

Hey guys,

Since starting 12 Months to Mastery I've now gotten feedback to prove something that I already really believed. Game is useless without BASIC social skills.

BradP already hinted at this when he talked about how you can't use negs or boyfriend destroyers if you have social anxiety because even though the words are right the delivery is wrong and you look terrified. I actually now have evidence it goes one step beyond that. In 12 Months to Mastery the first thing I have done is strip everyone back down to zero. My thinking went something like this " If you can't open a group of guys and girls by saying hi and then relating to them without routines, techniques or tactics, you are going to have problems." Why? Because you won't always have routines, you can't always be non reactive, or dominant or anything. The first step to socializing is making people socially comfortable while talking to you. Comfort actually comes before attraction(credit AFC Adam) but it's not the type of rapport based comfort most people in the community assume. Instead it's socail comfort, I.E the idea that this person will not creep you out, bore you or insult you.

So how do you learn to make people socially comfortable? Basic conversational skills. The very things that certain schools mock as "AFC" are the building blocks to ultimately having great game. Back in the old school ASF days this skill was referred to as "fluff talk". Ultimatley it comes down to a few basic points:

1. Relate to the other people in the conversation. Show how your experiences intertwine with theirs or vice versa. This can be done by asking questions or making statements.

2. Keep the conversation going, by changing conversational subjects. There's a lot of material out there on this.

3. Demonstrate genuine interest in getting to know them. Not interest in fucking them.

4. Talk about yourself. Don't be afraid to relate things about yourself and how you came to be who you are.

5. Asking questions that set up information about you. Instead of using questions to find out about them, use your questions to set up information about you. For example:

Sinn: " Are you guys locals?"
Girls: " Yeah we're from Mesquite.
Sinn: " Yeah? I'm from LA, which is funny cause iw as the least pretentious person there, and now I'm the most pretentious person in Texas. :)

I'll have some more articles on this stuff up later this month, but for npow start looking at basic social skills as the glue that holds routines and all the tactics together.

S

[Guest]

Last time I was at Finn I saw Sinn leave with a HB3 and I am being generous. The place was loaded and I mean overflowing with Super Hot Babes.

But otherwise there is no doubt being able to ramble on and on about everything in the world will help you be a better PUA. I wish I had awesome conversation skills like Professor.

[Guest]

[quote1228286992=playercool]
Last time I was at Finn I saw Sinn leave with a HB3 and I am being generous. The place was loaded and I mean overflowing with Super Hot Babes.

But otherwise there is no doubt being able to ramble on and on about everything in the world will help you be a better PUA. I wish I had awesome conversation skills like Professor.
[/quote1228286992]
I'm no Sinn fanboy but are you saying you disagree with his post? Just the content.

Also don't care who/what he leaves with, etc.

[Guest]

Content is valid. But I've never seen anything spectacular from the source.

In line with AFCadam I can say that on a lot of girls, especially southern belles, comfort before attraction will work miracles! Its almost a social courtesy.

[Guest]

Solace, can you expand on what you mean by that?

[Guest]

the source being Sinn.


but Alot of southern belles are more conservative, shyer, use to the good ol' fashion ways. I've found that they almost get confused when you try and run attraction first. They are hard-wired to be charmed and a display of manners and charm in the comfort phase will greatly accelerate your attraction. Its a natural thing for them, looking into their backgrounds( usually conservative, religious, old fashioned) In a way they are used to the way social interactions go down in a church setting. Everyone kind of minds their mannners and shows respect and then the interaction goes forward from there.

I have seen that they are less responsive to a high energy attraction game, basically.

[Guest]

and more receptive to comfort

[Guest]

Cool, I'll have to experiment with that.

[Guest]

[quote1228669716=Solace]

but Alot of southern belles are more conservative, shyer, use to the good ol' fashion ways. I've found that they almost get confused when you try and run attraction first. They are hard-wired to be charmed and a display of manners and charm in the comfort phase will greatly accelerate your attraction. Its a natural thing for them, looking into their backgrounds( usually conservative, religious, old fashioned) In a way they are used to the way social interactions go down in a church setting. Everyone kind of minds their mannners and shows respect and then the interaction goes forward from there.

I have seen that they are less responsive to a high energy attraction game, basically.
[/quote1228669716]

i agree.

but i think that most dallas girls are not TRUE southern belles and building comfort before enough or any attraction is built will not be conducive to your goal of f-closing her...