Centering, Neediness and being cool
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:33 pmHey guys.
I just wanted to throw in some ideas. You guys can comment.
One of the things you work on as you go out, do approaches and study this stuff is your inner game.
One definite part of the inner game is your level of validation. This means your neediness and how cool you are with others.
If you needed no one, you'd be a Ted Kazynski recluse type living in the ass end of nowhere.
That's weird.
So people need people. Its normal.
The opposite end of this is being child-like and needing people to do things for you.
The more independent you can BE is better. This is for everyone - guys or girls, young or old.
David D calls it composure.
Composure is one of those nebulous words that means what it means.
I've been out with guys and they're just so excited and happy to be out of the house that they act weird.
You need to be cool and maintain composure. Tyler calls it being UNREACTIVE.
If you react to others, they control you. Period.
You should cultivate this state. Cultivate a state of being in which you are centered and not needy or seeking approval.
Over time, this will develop anyway as you spend time going out and doing approaches so I'm not saying anything here that will be earth shattering.
Every single PUA I know who is good has this personality quality. Every single one!
Its not esoteric. Its not made up.
So don't take my word for it. Go out there and meet the guys who are good and soon you will see this in them.
It is one of the things that you can see that indicates how much game someone has. Its really easy to spot.
I'm not saying that you're not nervous. I'm not saying that you don't joke around or that you're super chill all the time. No.
I'm saying be calm and centered. Be in control of your own emotions.
A technique that David D has is the following:
- Stare up to your eye brow ridge and out and let your eyes de-focus and see with your peripheral vision.
- Take in three deep breaths. Slowly.
After you do this, you will find that you are very centered and in control. Its very closely related to what Huna calls Ha ka Lau. I know very little about Huna but it is good.
Again, I am not an expert nor do I claim to be. I work on myself all the time.
When I first came into the community, I was gung ho. I was spastic. I remember one night in particular where I went out with a green cowboy hat and asked girls what they thought of it.... like 10 times..for all ten sets.
I think Captain Jack pulled me aside and was like "what are you doing?"
Good times.
Tribulus
I just wanted to throw in some ideas. You guys can comment.
One of the things you work on as you go out, do approaches and study this stuff is your inner game.
One definite part of the inner game is your level of validation. This means your neediness and how cool you are with others.
If you needed no one, you'd be a Ted Kazynski recluse type living in the ass end of nowhere.
That's weird.
So people need people. Its normal.
The opposite end of this is being child-like and needing people to do things for you.
The more independent you can BE is better. This is for everyone - guys or girls, young or old.
David D calls it composure.
Composure is one of those nebulous words that means what it means.
I've been out with guys and they're just so excited and happy to be out of the house that they act weird.
You need to be cool and maintain composure. Tyler calls it being UNREACTIVE.
If you react to others, they control you. Period.
You should cultivate this state. Cultivate a state of being in which you are centered and not needy or seeking approval.
Over time, this will develop anyway as you spend time going out and doing approaches so I'm not saying anything here that will be earth shattering.
Every single PUA I know who is good has this personality quality. Every single one!
Its not esoteric. Its not made up.
So don't take my word for it. Go out there and meet the guys who are good and soon you will see this in them.
It is one of the things that you can see that indicates how much game someone has. Its really easy to spot.
I'm not saying that you're not nervous. I'm not saying that you don't joke around or that you're super chill all the time. No.
I'm saying be calm and centered. Be in control of your own emotions.
A technique that David D has is the following:
- Stare up to your eye brow ridge and out and let your eyes de-focus and see with your peripheral vision.
- Take in three deep breaths. Slowly.
After you do this, you will find that you are very centered and in control. Its very closely related to what Huna calls Ha ka Lau. I know very little about Huna but it is good.
Again, I am not an expert nor do I claim to be. I work on myself all the time.
When I first came into the community, I was gung ho. I was spastic. I remember one night in particular where I went out with a green cowboy hat and asked girls what they thought of it.... like 10 times..for all ten sets.
I think Captain Jack pulled me aside and was like "what are you doing?"
Good times.
Tribulus