Common wisdom that i don't follow:
Certain things that the PUA community at large accept to be true just seem to not mesh well with my personal experience. I'm not necessarily referring to THIS community, but the PUA community at large and especially the advice of some well-known PUA gurus.
I wanted to write this post for all the newbies out there who feel that some of my posts fly against page 46 of "The Game" or something else that they have read. I've read the same things. I want to put this out there for everyone, and I welcome new and experienced alike to comment on it and rip it apart as it relates to your own thoughts and/or experience. Nothing wrong with some good well-meaning disagreement.
I don't claim to have all the answers. I'm learning new things every day, and I mean that literally. So maybe I haven't looked at some of these things in the right way. Inasmuch as this is meant to teach, I also want to learn something. Anyway, away we go:
1.) Never introduce yourself (Mystery) - (thinking: it shows interest too early, it gives the girl too much value)
I do this all the time. Never once have i had it work against me in any way that I can remember. I've been blown out for other reasons, but never have i had a girl say "what? you told me your name?? well, i WAS in to you, mister, but clearly you don't have enough value for me!"
All it does is set the frame "WE ARE MEETING EACH OTHER NOW" and forces a small investment. Sometimes it helps, usually it has no effect either way.
2.) Never compliment a girl until she jumps through a hoop (Mystery) - (thinking: it is a chode thing to do. it raises her value relative to yours, it comes across as supplicating)
I use compliments all the time to great effect. Sometimes I open with compliments. Perfectly fine. Basically i use them to get a girl talking if she seems really shy or if it just feels like the right thing to do in the situation.
3.) Never use self-depricating humor (David DeAngelo) - (thinking: it lowers your value, and shows a lack of confidence)
Disagree. I use self-depricating humor ALL the time, it only serves to build rapport and it shows increased confidence.
4.) Use DHV-embedded stories to hit the attraction switches of "protector of loved ones, leader of men, and preselection" (Mystery) - (thinking: based on S&R theory, this is what girls are looking for. if you embed enough of these DHV's in to your stories, a girl will feel attraction. The maxim - Attraction is not a choice.)
In all honesty, a "told" DHV like this does create some attraction, the problem is that it is very weak and it does NOT get you nearly enough attraction to say, not get flaked on. Given the effort and time that you lose trying to do this, in my opinion this is a waste of 5 to 15 minutes. IMO not even worth adding to your game or worrying about. Let her discover your value for herself by being a strong, confident guy with a good sense of humor and a good heart. Try instead to have a two-sided conversation as early as possible. The goal should be to build investment more so than attraction. Or maybe rapport is the right word? Vibe and connect.
5.) 90/10 rule (Tyler Durden) - (thinking: girls are not going to carry the conversational burden of a conversation, so be prepared to do 90% of the talking for the first 5 to 15 minutes while she warms up)
True premise, bad advice. I ALWAYS strive to have the girl talk as much and as early as possible!!!! the danger is that you do NOT, i repeat NOT want to "put on a show" for her, and that was always the problem i had with this. You would talk, get no investment from her, and when you were done talking and the energy dipped, they would basically walk away. while you may end up doing 90% of the talking anyway, let it happen naturally. strive for 50/50.
6.) Never buy a girl a drink (Mystery) - (thinking: it lowers your relative value.)
I've done this wrong a couple times. The point is to not make it a supplication, but you have to balance it off with not being an awkward guy with issues. Personally I think buying girls drinks is cheesy and try to avoid it. I'm Swedish, and in my culture it is thought of as very cheesy and almost insulting to buy a girl a drink, even on a date. However, in the USA it's a part of normal culture. If she asks for a drink, simply make her jump thru a hoop first, then reward her with one. When i'm on a date i ALWAYS assume i'm paying for drinks, unless she seems weird about it.
7.) Neg or tease your target, especially the 10's (Mystery) - (thinking: a "10" believes her value is higher than yours, so you need to knock her down to your level in order to talk to her)
99% of the time i see this done wrong. There is NO DIFFERENCE between a 10 and a 7 in my experience. I can count on my fingers the number of times I've seen guys in this community get blown out for not negging/teasing enough (therefore having lower relative value a la Mystery). I have seen literally hundreds of guys blown out, and I've done it myself, for teasing where the girl just wasn't receptive to it. You do the math.
It's almost like some guys are doing it because they're afraid of being boring or chumpy.
8.) Never open your target (Mystery) - (thinking: it disarms the obstacles)
Here's my experience. You know what happens when you open the obstacle? The obstacle stays and talks to you, and the target wanders off. Unless it's a 2 set. In that case, what happens is if you're running a good set, the obstacle starts to like you, and the target just stands around. Just open the fucking target direct. If the obstacle tries to pull her away, either a.) ignore her and continue to engage your target or b.) set the frame with something to the obstacle "hey, we like each other are you cool with that?" c.) get a better wing man lol
9.) Always play hard to get, or be the challenging "prize" (Swingcat, others) - (thinking: we want what we can't have)
Yes, but for christ's sake do it right. 99% of the time i see it done wrong. Let me give my take on this. People want what they can't have, AS LONG AS THEY BELIEVE THEY CAN HAVE IT.
People seem to go WAY out of their way to prize themselves, when IMO it's completely not necessary and a waste of time. IMO the trick is just knowing what NOT to do. Don't be needy, sulky, whiney, etc etc etc and just have enough social calibration to know when to push and when to lay back. Just be a cool guy. Lest the girl should think that you're unattainable and then talk herself out of seeing you again.
10.) The belief that all women cheat, or all hot girls have a guy on the side (Tyler Durden) - (thinking: academic books like the red queen, sperm wars, some TD post)
I would say something mean here, but... Seriously if anyone believes this, STOP READING RIGHT NOW, go outside, and get some real life girl friends from planet Earth. Don't believe shit from some college professor dweeb whose wife left him for the pool boy so in a fit of rage and delusion and a need to make sense of his life decides to write some gay book. Some girls do, most girls don't. In the real world. If they will cheat on you with someone more 'alpha', they're more likely to just dump your ass for him.
11.) ALL Girls deep down appreciate a player (Mystery) - (thinking: girls love sex as much as men, they just don't want to feel like a slut. Therefore most girls will be OK with no-strings sex or FB relationships)
Doesn't match my experience. Some girls just want sex, but most want more. At least the majority of the girls I go for don't just want sex. If you want to sleep with a lot of girls, sometimes you are going to have to hurt their feelings. That's just the sad fact of life as it is in the real world of Peter Grimm. Some girls are just looking to get laid, (most of those are just looking for validation of some kind more than pure sex) but most girls we game day-to-day are looking for emotional assets. When you break them, she will cry, even if it isn't in front of you. Yes women love sex as much as men. But to deny that it affects them emotionally is just fantasy world stuff in my experience.
However, I will concede that my style of going for a lot of rapport and investment might play in to this. In some ways, I think the guys with a "lighter" game (which is most guys) are more humane in that way, but that's just theory.
OK that's all i can think of for now. I'm sure there are more.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Common wisdom that i don't follow:
1 post
• Page 1 of 1
by Guest » Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:27 pm
1) I view the name game as a low investment method to get her to show interest in you. Like Ratio, I don’t view it as a huge tactical advantage to not giving your name but I do think it is an advantage in that it forces her to show her hand…however slight the peek.
2) I agree. Nothing wrong with a nice compliment, but I’m going to qualify that statement a little bit. I truly believe that if you give a compliment it has to be genuine and it has to be something different than what a normal guy would say. If you walk up to an HB and tell her how beautiful she is, she probably hears that all the time. So, I usually dish unique compliments out…something like I love your shoes, you’re graceful, great hair, etc. I tend to stay away from telling her how hot she is or that she has beautiful eyes or any of those guido pick up lines.
3) I think if you say it with proper body language and tonality then you absolutely can use self-deprecating humor. Before I entered the Community I used a lot of self-deprecating humor, then a hottie that I worked with told me not to be so down on myself. Toward the end of my tenor at that firm, I worked on non-verbal communication and body language…the exact same self-deprecating humor that was lost on her while I didn’t have my non-verbal communication down was no longer lost on her because I packaged in a different manner. In other words, self-deprecating humor is funny as long as you say with a degree of confidence.
4) I agree, sort of. I do think about my stories and the parts in the story where DHV spikes show up and sometimes I accentuate my stories with DHV spikes where they may not have existed before. Fact is that I’ve always been really good at story telling so my stories tend to have natural DHV spikes…this was one of the few things that I was doing right before I got here so I didn’t have a lot of work to do in this space. But, Grimm, I think for a lot of guys (shit people in general) their stories are severely lacking. So, I think it’s important to understand DHV spikes, what they are, what they aren’t, where they fit, and where they don’t just so you can become a slightly more entertaining, interesting person. BUT, I don’t think DHV stories are required for pick up. I do think that it’s a very valuable social skill to have though.
5) I feel like if a girl likes you, she’s not going to let you continue to carry 90% of the conversation for very long. But, I do think initially it’s your responsibility to direct and lead the conversation. Especially on cold approaches.
6) I never buy drinks unless I’m on a day2 or unless she bounces to a different venue with me. If she asks, I almost always drop her. Period. If she’s celebrating a birthday or something other special occasion centered around her, then I will buy her a drink because it’s a friendly gesture.
7) I think guys are doing it as a way to hide their true intentions, from themselves and from the set. It becomes an excuse as to why the set didn’t work out too well. When you get blown out you say to yourself that I negged too hard, it couldn’t be because she simply didn’t like you. No, no it was the negs. Teasing and negging is a part of my personality so I’m going to do it regardless of who it is that I’m talking to…if they think I’m a jerk, then fine that’s their problem not mine. This is one of the reasons I’m not too big on calibrating…you’ll calibrate your true personality right out if you don’t watch out. I’m just me, all the time…take it or leave it.
8) If it’s a group, I open the group. I don’t open anyone in particular, just the entire set. My goal is to be accepted by the set, not the target. If you do this, you’ll cut down on the about of obstacles you run across. Also, when I approach a 3+ set I usually build proximity to my target. So, I’ll approach and stand directly next to the target which forces me to talk to the entire set. The whole time I’m shifting my eye contact to each member of the set, including the target. I typically open her once she opens me, i.e. touches me, asks about me, asks my name, etc.
9) You can subcommunicate that you’re the prize without playing hard to get. I think you’re right on with this one Grimm.
10) All women will cheat but only if they don’t respect their man. So, be a goddamn man. Not the one that your mom taught you to be, but the one that’s strong, aggressive, demanding, etc. If you’re a fucking man and your woman RESPECTS you as a person then she’ll never stray regardless of how hot they are. As for the hotties, you’d be surprised how many smoking hot chicks almost never get asked out because men are too intimidated by their beauty. They’re out there, sure not in the bars and clubs so much but that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.
11) Most girls want more than just sex. Absolutely agree with that statement. And, almost all women don’t want you to have other girls around. Sure, they’ll accept it and stick around for a short period of time but it won’t last forever. In my opinion, the longer they stick around, the lower their self-esteem, thus the lower their value. High value girls with high self-esteem typically demand that you respect them by not fucking everything that moves. Sex does create emotion and this bullshit rule in PU about leaving them better than you found them is totally impossible when you meet a chick, game her, tell her that she’s not at all scarce to you, that she’s one of many, that you nail other girls, etc., etc. I’ve seen the waterworks and you’re telling me that by fucking them, creating an emotional bridge, and then destroying it FOREVER is leaving them better than we found them? We say that just so we don’t feel too much guilt over what we’ve done. BUT, I think Mystery is partially right. I think all girls do want a player. The reason? Because we have social skills, we’re confident, we won’t supplicate to them, we won’t put them on a pedestal, we’re strong, we’re leaders, we’re experienced, we have value, etc., etc., etc. They do want a player, they just don’t want to be PLAYED.
2) I agree. Nothing wrong with a nice compliment, but I’m going to qualify that statement a little bit. I truly believe that if you give a compliment it has to be genuine and it has to be something different than what a normal guy would say. If you walk up to an HB and tell her how beautiful she is, she probably hears that all the time. So, I usually dish unique compliments out…something like I love your shoes, you’re graceful, great hair, etc. I tend to stay away from telling her how hot she is or that she has beautiful eyes or any of those guido pick up lines.
3) I think if you say it with proper body language and tonality then you absolutely can use self-deprecating humor. Before I entered the Community I used a lot of self-deprecating humor, then a hottie that I worked with told me not to be so down on myself. Toward the end of my tenor at that firm, I worked on non-verbal communication and body language…the exact same self-deprecating humor that was lost on her while I didn’t have my non-verbal communication down was no longer lost on her because I packaged in a different manner. In other words, self-deprecating humor is funny as long as you say with a degree of confidence.
4) I agree, sort of. I do think about my stories and the parts in the story where DHV spikes show up and sometimes I accentuate my stories with DHV spikes where they may not have existed before. Fact is that I’ve always been really good at story telling so my stories tend to have natural DHV spikes…this was one of the few things that I was doing right before I got here so I didn’t have a lot of work to do in this space. But, Grimm, I think for a lot of guys (shit people in general) their stories are severely lacking. So, I think it’s important to understand DHV spikes, what they are, what they aren’t, where they fit, and where they don’t just so you can become a slightly more entertaining, interesting person. BUT, I don’t think DHV stories are required for pick up. I do think that it’s a very valuable social skill to have though.
5) I feel like if a girl likes you, she’s not going to let you continue to carry 90% of the conversation for very long. But, I do think initially it’s your responsibility to direct and lead the conversation. Especially on cold approaches.
6) I never buy drinks unless I’m on a day2 or unless she bounces to a different venue with me. If she asks, I almost always drop her. Period. If she’s celebrating a birthday or something other special occasion centered around her, then I will buy her a drink because it’s a friendly gesture.
7) I think guys are doing it as a way to hide their true intentions, from themselves and from the set. It becomes an excuse as to why the set didn’t work out too well. When you get blown out you say to yourself that I negged too hard, it couldn’t be because she simply didn’t like you. No, no it was the negs. Teasing and negging is a part of my personality so I’m going to do it regardless of who it is that I’m talking to…if they think I’m a jerk, then fine that’s their problem not mine. This is one of the reasons I’m not too big on calibrating…you’ll calibrate your true personality right out if you don’t watch out. I’m just me, all the time…take it or leave it.
8) If it’s a group, I open the group. I don’t open anyone in particular, just the entire set. My goal is to be accepted by the set, not the target. If you do this, you’ll cut down on the about of obstacles you run across. Also, when I approach a 3+ set I usually build proximity to my target. So, I’ll approach and stand directly next to the target which forces me to talk to the entire set. The whole time I’m shifting my eye contact to each member of the set, including the target. I typically open her once she opens me, i.e. touches me, asks about me, asks my name, etc.
9) You can subcommunicate that you’re the prize without playing hard to get. I think you’re right on with this one Grimm.
10) All women will cheat but only if they don’t respect their man. So, be a goddamn man. Not the one that your mom taught you to be, but the one that’s strong, aggressive, demanding, etc. If you’re a fucking man and your woman RESPECTS you as a person then she’ll never stray regardless of how hot they are. As for the hotties, you’d be surprised how many smoking hot chicks almost never get asked out because men are too intimidated by their beauty. They’re out there, sure not in the bars and clubs so much but that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.
11) Most girls want more than just sex. Absolutely agree with that statement. And, almost all women don’t want you to have other girls around. Sure, they’ll accept it and stick around for a short period of time but it won’t last forever. In my opinion, the longer they stick around, the lower their self-esteem, thus the lower their value. High value girls with high self-esteem typically demand that you respect them by not fucking everything that moves. Sex does create emotion and this bullshit rule in PU about leaving them better than you found them is totally impossible when you meet a chick, game her, tell her that she’s not at all scarce to you, that she’s one of many, that you nail other girls, etc., etc. I’ve seen the waterworks and you’re telling me that by fucking them, creating an emotional bridge, and then destroying it FOREVER is leaving them better than we found them? We say that just so we don’t feel too much guilt over what we’ve done. BUT, I think Mystery is partially right. I think all girls do want a player. The reason? Because we have social skills, we’re confident, we won’t supplicate to them, we won’t put them on a pedestal, we’re strong, we’re leaders, we’re experienced, we have value, etc., etc., etc. They do want a player, they just don’t want to be PLAYED.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:19 pm
Swedish - I thought you were Italian man! We need to find some Swedish girls!
[b]Here's my take on buying drinks......you shouldn't use it as an opener[/b] because I've seen tons of guys buy girls drinks they talk for a minute or two and leave....if you are buying all their drinks you don't know if they are talking to you just for the free drinks or because they like you. If you don't buy them drinks and they stick around you know it's because they like talking to you. Maybe if we've been hanging out for 30 minutes or something like that I'll buy theme a drink, i just won't do it as an opener or at the beginning of an interaction. On a date...that's different if you asked them out of course you should pay.
My opinion is there are no rules - at least not ones that apply in every situation. I've heard people here make some crazy statements that usually contain the the words "never" or "always" that are ridiculous.....but I do think a lot of the "rules" do contain some valuable insights.
PS I've been holding my beer by my side instead of in front of me for several months now and I'm still waiting for all the hotties to come running to me.
[b]Here's my take on buying drinks......you shouldn't use it as an opener[/b] because I've seen tons of guys buy girls drinks they talk for a minute or two and leave....if you are buying all their drinks you don't know if they are talking to you just for the free drinks or because they like you. If you don't buy them drinks and they stick around you know it's because they like talking to you. Maybe if we've been hanging out for 30 minutes or something like that I'll buy theme a drink, i just won't do it as an opener or at the beginning of an interaction. On a date...that's different if you asked them out of course you should pay.
My opinion is there are no rules - at least not ones that apply in every situation. I've heard people here make some crazy statements that usually contain the the words "never" or "always" that are ridiculous.....but I do think a lot of the "rules" do contain some valuable insights.
PS I've been holding my beer by my side instead of in front of me for several months now and I'm still waiting for all the hotties to come running to me.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:08 pm
there's alot of good points in all these posts.
To me, community wisdom/rules are just guidelines meant to help. None of them taken on their own is the thing that gets you the girl, and as you pointed out, none taken on their own will probably lose the girl. Women aren't attracted to those singular items, nor are they intended to be the attraction switches necessarily.... they are attracted to confident, secure, socially adept men.
They are really mean to be stepping stones only ...as are almost everything in the community, openers, peacocking, routines, etc. They are techniques to help improve your success with women, which breeds the confidence and secureness and social qualities of which ARE the things that women find attractive. I think newbies will tend to think those RULES/BEHAVIORS are the things that are what are meant to be attractive. They aren't...they are just some guidelines to help improve interactions and gain confidence and experience. With the proper confidence, you can go break any and all of those rules and still have success.
Rembrandt, while i know you were joking in that last comment (which cracked me up), that actually is a great example to be honest. That would be one of those community words of wisdom. And to be honest, when i'm solo sarging i'm even more aware of my BL than normal. I will lean back on a bar, spread my arms out and hold my beer out on the side propped on the bar, and NUMEROUS times i actually have been approached by women and opened me and literally commented how confident i looked(all from body language projection) (to where now i intentionally do this). It's not so much ..."do [i]this[/i] because[i] it [/i]will get you laid", it's "do this because it will likely have a beneficial impact" on a women's perception of you...
To me, community wisdom/rules are just guidelines meant to help. None of them taken on their own is the thing that gets you the girl, and as you pointed out, none taken on their own will probably lose the girl. Women aren't attracted to those singular items, nor are they intended to be the attraction switches necessarily.... they are attracted to confident, secure, socially adept men.
They are really mean to be stepping stones only ...as are almost everything in the community, openers, peacocking, routines, etc. They are techniques to help improve your success with women, which breeds the confidence and secureness and social qualities of which ARE the things that women find attractive. I think newbies will tend to think those RULES/BEHAVIORS are the things that are what are meant to be attractive. They aren't...they are just some guidelines to help improve interactions and gain confidence and experience. With the proper confidence, you can go break any and all of those rules and still have success.
Rembrandt, while i know you were joking in that last comment (which cracked me up), that actually is a great example to be honest. That would be one of those community words of wisdom. And to be honest, when i'm solo sarging i'm even more aware of my BL than normal. I will lean back on a bar, spread my arms out and hold my beer out on the side propped on the bar, and NUMEROUS times i actually have been approached by women and opened me and literally commented how confident i looked(all from body language projection) (to where now i intentionally do this). It's not so much ..."do [i]this[/i] because[i] it [/i]will get you laid", it's "do this because it will likely have a beneficial impact" on a women's perception of you...
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:25 pm
[quote1219286928=TopDog]Rembrandt, while i know you were joking in that last comment (which cracked me up), that actually is a great example to be honest. That would be one of those community words of wisdom. And to be honest, when i'm solo sarging i'm even more aware of my BL than normal. I will lean back on a bar, spread my arms out and hold my beer out on the side propped on the bar, and NUMEROUS times i actually have been approached by women and opened me and literally commented how confident i looked(all from body language projection) (to where now i intentionally do this). It's not so much ..."do [i]this[/i] because[i] it [/i]will get you laid", it's "do this because it will likely have a beneficial impact" on a women's perception of you...[/quote1219286928]
This is true. This fucker gets opened more than anyone I've ever seen.
BUT, Topdog, I don't think it's because you're so relaxed and confident. Sure, that's part of the equation but not the whole part.
Dude, you have a physical attribute that naturally showers you with attention.
One night I made a point to walk slightly behind you as you walked around the venue, not sure which venue, but that doesn't matter. EVERY single chick that you walked by looked at you, EVERY single one. And not EVERY single one was attracted to you, that's Superman kind of powers you know? Shit dude, even dudes stop what they're doing and look at you! BTW, when the guys said some shit about you, which they DO, I politely told them that you're my boy and asked if they had a problem...the answer? NO, of course not, no problem! I thought it was funny as shit!!
Anyway, you probably don't realize this but you are the center of attention. People STOP what they're doing and look at you. So, when you look incredibly confident, which you do (guys you wanna learn how to project confidence just talk to and watch Topdog for a few seconds). The fact that you look confident while you're under so much scrutiny subcommunicates that you're even MORE confident than you LOOK. Does that make sense brother? Hope so.
Anyway, so the your BL is only part of the equation the other part is how you react to the world. I would liken your physical stature to that of peacocking. Real peacocking, not just wearing a tie. When you draw attention to yourself from everyone it creates immense social pressure...when you react totally unfazed it serves as a notice to the world that whatever they think, say, or do makes zero difference to you, it subcommunicates that you're a confident man of value, you do what you want, when you want.
Guys, this is a great example of running with what you got. Topdog is one of the BEST PUAs in Dallas. He's got a natural gift given his phyiscal appearance, and he's learned how to work with what he's got. This is the model that all of us should follow.
Having said that, I want everyone to know that I found a porn from the 1920's...
I enjoyed it :)
This is true. This fucker gets opened more than anyone I've ever seen.
BUT, Topdog, I don't think it's because you're so relaxed and confident. Sure, that's part of the equation but not the whole part.
Dude, you have a physical attribute that naturally showers you with attention.
One night I made a point to walk slightly behind you as you walked around the venue, not sure which venue, but that doesn't matter. EVERY single chick that you walked by looked at you, EVERY single one. And not EVERY single one was attracted to you, that's Superman kind of powers you know? Shit dude, even dudes stop what they're doing and look at you! BTW, when the guys said some shit about you, which they DO, I politely told them that you're my boy and asked if they had a problem...the answer? NO, of course not, no problem! I thought it was funny as shit!!
Anyway, you probably don't realize this but you are the center of attention. People STOP what they're doing and look at you. So, when you look incredibly confident, which you do (guys you wanna learn how to project confidence just talk to and watch Topdog for a few seconds). The fact that you look confident while you're under so much scrutiny subcommunicates that you're even MORE confident than you LOOK. Does that make sense brother? Hope so.
Anyway, so the your BL is only part of the equation the other part is how you react to the world. I would liken your physical stature to that of peacocking. Real peacocking, not just wearing a tie. When you draw attention to yourself from everyone it creates immense social pressure...when you react totally unfazed it serves as a notice to the world that whatever they think, say, or do makes zero difference to you, it subcommunicates that you're a confident man of value, you do what you want, when you want.
Guys, this is a great example of running with what you got. Topdog is one of the BEST PUAs in Dallas. He's got a natural gift given his phyiscal appearance, and he's learned how to work with what he's got. This is the model that all of us should follow.
Having said that, I want everyone to know that I found a porn from the 1920's...
I enjoyed it :)
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:28 pm
[quote1219291737=Bull Run]
[quote1219286928=TopDog]Rembrandt, while i know you were joking in that last comment (which cracked me up), that actually is a great example to be honest. That would be one of those community words of wisdom. And to be honest, when i'm solo sarging i'm even more aware of my BL than normal. I will lean back on a bar, spread my arms out and hold my beer out on the side propped on the bar, and NUMEROUS times i actually have been approached by women and opened me and literally commented how confident i looked(all from body language projection) (to where now i intentionally do this). It's not so much ..."do [i]this[/i] because[i] it [/i]will get you laid", it's "do this because it will likely have a beneficial impact" on a women's perception of you...[/quote1219286928]
This is true. This fucker gets opened more than anyone I've ever seen.
BUT, Topdog, I don't think it's because you're so relaxed and confident. Sure, that's part of the equation but not the whole part.
Dude, you have a physical attribute that naturally showers you with attention.
One night I made a point to walk slightly behind you as you walked around the venue, not sure which venue, but that doesn't matter. EVERY single chick that you walked by looked at you, EVERY single one. And not EVERY single one was attracted to you, that's Superman kind of powers you know? Shit dude, even dudes stop what they're doing and look at you! BTW, when the guys said some shit about you, which they DO, I politely told them that you're my boy and asked if they had a problem...the answer? NO, of course not, no problem! I thought it was funny as shit!!
Anyway, you probably don't realize this but you are the center of attention. People STOP what they're doing and look at you. So, when you look incredibly confident, which you do (guys you wanna learn how to project confidence just talk to and watch Topdog for a few seconds). The fact that you look confident while you're under so much scrutiny subcommunicates that you're even MORE confident than you LOOK. Does that make sense brother? Hope so.
Anyway, so the your BL is only part of the equation the other part is how you react to the world. I would liken your physical stature to that of peacocking. Real peacocking, not just wearing a tie. When you draw attention to yourself from everyone it creates immense social pressure...when you react totally unfazed it serves as a notice to the world that whatever they think, say, or do makes zero difference to you, it subcommunicates that you're a confident man of value, you do what you want, when you want.
Guys, this is a great example of running with what you got. Topdog is one of the BEST PUAs in Dallas. He's got a natural gift given his phyiscal appearance, and he's learned how to work with what he's got. This is the model that all of us should follow.
Having said that, I want everyone to know that I found a porn from the 1920's...
I enjoyed it :)
[/quote1219291737]
Bullrun... thanks for the words. i appreciate that. You get a reach around next time we are together. ;)
BUT...i'd like to point out. I was my same height (the 'natural' peacocking) back in high school AND college and I had absolutely NOOOO game.
My game came from a result of studying community principles, and quite frankly, busting my ass in the gym(I'm talking dragging a cooler around drinking protein shakes every 3 hours intensity for several years..) I 've hit the weights and added 70 lbs.... +- 10 lbs in good shape and bad shape. (I've actually been meaning to make a post on how my game has transformed in the past 5 weeks since i've gotten back in the gym and lost 10+ pounds.)
Point being, what i don't want to get lost is that i worked my ass off internalizing community principles to get where i'm at, both mentally AND physically. I could put my game at ZERO in an instant by simply changing my body language. Point i'm trying to make is, i don't want it to be lost on newbies the importance. My physical peacocking could be just as much of a hindrance as it is a positive( unfortunately, i see this all the time)
Anyways, i want to stress is that i LEARNED how to get to where I am now. it may look like that i have natural advantage.. it came from a lot of hard work especially inner game work, to turn that into an advantage... applying those principles and having those smaller idividual sucesses along the way are what gave me the overall confidence and why it may look like a natural advantage!
Grimm...sorry to sidetrack your thread.
[quote1219286928=TopDog]Rembrandt, while i know you were joking in that last comment (which cracked me up), that actually is a great example to be honest. That would be one of those community words of wisdom. And to be honest, when i'm solo sarging i'm even more aware of my BL than normal. I will lean back on a bar, spread my arms out and hold my beer out on the side propped on the bar, and NUMEROUS times i actually have been approached by women and opened me and literally commented how confident i looked(all from body language projection) (to where now i intentionally do this). It's not so much ..."do [i]this[/i] because[i] it [/i]will get you laid", it's "do this because it will likely have a beneficial impact" on a women's perception of you...[/quote1219286928]
This is true. This fucker gets opened more than anyone I've ever seen.
BUT, Topdog, I don't think it's because you're so relaxed and confident. Sure, that's part of the equation but not the whole part.
Dude, you have a physical attribute that naturally showers you with attention.
One night I made a point to walk slightly behind you as you walked around the venue, not sure which venue, but that doesn't matter. EVERY single chick that you walked by looked at you, EVERY single one. And not EVERY single one was attracted to you, that's Superman kind of powers you know? Shit dude, even dudes stop what they're doing and look at you! BTW, when the guys said some shit about you, which they DO, I politely told them that you're my boy and asked if they had a problem...the answer? NO, of course not, no problem! I thought it was funny as shit!!
Anyway, you probably don't realize this but you are the center of attention. People STOP what they're doing and look at you. So, when you look incredibly confident, which you do (guys you wanna learn how to project confidence just talk to and watch Topdog for a few seconds). The fact that you look confident while you're under so much scrutiny subcommunicates that you're even MORE confident than you LOOK. Does that make sense brother? Hope so.
Anyway, so the your BL is only part of the equation the other part is how you react to the world. I would liken your physical stature to that of peacocking. Real peacocking, not just wearing a tie. When you draw attention to yourself from everyone it creates immense social pressure...when you react totally unfazed it serves as a notice to the world that whatever they think, say, or do makes zero difference to you, it subcommunicates that you're a confident man of value, you do what you want, when you want.
Guys, this is a great example of running with what you got. Topdog is one of the BEST PUAs in Dallas. He's got a natural gift given his phyiscal appearance, and he's learned how to work with what he's got. This is the model that all of us should follow.
Having said that, I want everyone to know that I found a porn from the 1920's...
I enjoyed it :)
[/quote1219291737]
Bullrun... thanks for the words. i appreciate that. You get a reach around next time we are together. ;)
BUT...i'd like to point out. I was my same height (the 'natural' peacocking) back in high school AND college and I had absolutely NOOOO game.
My game came from a result of studying community principles, and quite frankly, busting my ass in the gym(I'm talking dragging a cooler around drinking protein shakes every 3 hours intensity for several years..) I 've hit the weights and added 70 lbs.... +- 10 lbs in good shape and bad shape. (I've actually been meaning to make a post on how my game has transformed in the past 5 weeks since i've gotten back in the gym and lost 10+ pounds.)
Point being, what i don't want to get lost is that i worked my ass off internalizing community principles to get where i'm at, both mentally AND physically. I could put my game at ZERO in an instant by simply changing my body language. Point i'm trying to make is, i don't want it to be lost on newbies the importance. My physical peacocking could be just as much of a hindrance as it is a positive( unfortunately, i see this all the time)
Anyways, i want to stress is that i LEARNED how to get to where I am now. it may look like that i have natural advantage.. it came from a lot of hard work especially inner game work, to turn that into an advantage... applying those principles and having those smaller idividual sucesses along the way are what gave me the overall confidence and why it may look like a natural advantage!
Grimm...sorry to sidetrack your thread.
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