Your job as a DHV

[omgdallas]

I'm a computer programmer, not really a DHV to chicks, bad stereotype and whatnot.

When girls ask me what I do, usually I make something up ( Mcdonald fry guy, boob model and get them to feel my pecs, bum and i need a sugar mamma )

That gets laughs and kino sometimes, but I kind of think lying about what you do is not alpha.

Lately I've been working on telling girls I'm a computer programmer in an alpha way, like when Tom cruise in MI:3 tells those girls that he is a traffic flow engineer, (for those that havent seen it, he talks about it like it is his passion and that is the coolest thing in the world and the chicks buy into the frame)

[Gambit]

after you mentioned that MI:3 scene I had to go back and watch the movie because I remembered the scene but wanted to study it a lil bit to see if I could see it being a useful tool in our DHV...

And now that I think about it if you can work out some way to make you seem very passionate about your job... almost any job can be a DHV...

some jobs that may seem as a DLV but could be converted to a DHV:

-Cook at a local restaurant
-PC repair or PC/tech support
-Police Officer


I actually want to go pose as a few of these jobs and see how it works out. Make it my personal lil experiment ... I'm goin pick a few really deadbeat or seemingly DLV jobs and try to make myself seem passionate about my job that it becomes a DHV... I'll report back on how well it comes out...

Anyone want to give me any suggestions on some seemingly DLV jobs to pose as before I go out and start checking some of these off of my list?

[Neuromancer]

Programmer is an easy DHV. The impression is that programmer that make $$$. Now you don't have to make bug bux as a programmer because it gives that impression. Now we all know that money does not mean cool, it's the independence and self confedence that it brings. That is what you want to project, independence and self confidence. You can then downplay the job in favor of how it makes you feel. "I'm a programmer, I really love it but it's not what defines me. It's fun to do and it's my path to my goal." This opens two possible questions, The unlikely question because it's before the "but" is, "what do you love so much about programming" in which case tell them why you are a programmer, the question implies that she thinks it's cool so, game on. The question from after the but and therefore the more likely one, "So what is your goal?" Tell her your goal. you don't need to have achieved it , being goal oriented is the important thing for them.

I've done a lot of things professionally and I realized that most jobs suck when you actually do them. DHV jobs I've had that suck: Bouncer, 100% travel job, virus hunter.

why do they suck? Bouncers work at nightclubs. It sounds cool but in the end, it's a job. A job where you are basicly a dick at nightclubs. Also, when you aren't working but out at clubs, you go bouncer and look for trouble and cleanup after people. It makes clubs not fun.

100% travel jobs suck because of stress. You're gone all the time, you meet lots of new people but they are at the office. You can't build any ties and you never get to enjoy the places you go to.

Now here are some really cool DLV jobs I've done: Hotdog vendor, Security Guard,

Hotdog vendor is all about being a street philosopher. Making hotdogs is a brainless activity so it becomes automatic. Then you have what you do with your mind. The fun part is being social with your customers and you get to go deep fast.

Security guards hold the keys to the kingdom. You get to go to the places that no one else goes. I've kicked back in Ross Perot's office chair with my feet on the desk. I watched the sky on fire on the fourth of july from the roof of a high rise building. You are usually by yourself and you know where all the security holes are so you can get away with stuff. Don't do anything to get you fired but you can get away with quite a bit. If you are in security and don't have a high rise security job, find one.

[dex]

How was being a virus hunter a sucky job? Seems like only if you ended up catching what you were hunting. Having Ebola would definitely be a DLV, but having survived through it....

At the beginning of a night, it would be a good idea to go through everyone's jobs (if you dont know them) and see how they could be made into a DHV. It would be easy to say, "hey you should meet XX, he does YY" to introduce someone new (idea from a post i read).

[John Agent]

I'm the President of Poland, of course my job is a DHV.

[Scoundrel]

I do not use my job as a DHV. That’s because I have a shit job. My best DHV is that I can play guitar as well as Eric Clapton. I never lie about what I do (I'm a truck driver) and I’ve never had a HB turn her nose up at me about it either.

Maybe I’m the only one that thinks my job is shit.

[Gambit]

I do not use my job as a DHV. That’s because I have a shit job. My best DHV is that I can play guitar as well as Eric Clapton. I never lie about what I do (I'm a truck driver) and I’ve never had a HB turn her nose up at me about it either.

Maybe I’m the only one that thinks my job is shit.

Well you could try to make it sound like a DHV... just like that 1 comment about the MI:3 movie where Tom Cruise "claims" he has a job that has something to do with the flow of traffic and things like that. That sounds like a shit job but the way he made himself seem passionate about it made it a DHV all by itself...

I'm goin to try to quote the movie but it's not goin to be 100% accurate...

Guy: So what do you do?
Tom: (he said something like traffic control advisor or something like that)
Guy: O' ya? Well what is that?
Tom: Well, it's a truly remarkable job. Did you know you can track the slightest ease of the brakes for over 10 miles through traffic? It's amazing. You can almost imagine traffic being a living organism... it has a pulse, it has a flow, it's a beautiful thing really.

Like I said that was far from 100% accurate but that's pretty much along the lines of what he said...

I tried to find the thread about that scene in that movie but I couldn't find it. Sorry...

[Neuromancer]

It doesn't matter if your job actually sucks or not. The point is, The job always comes up eventually so it doesn't matter if it sucks, what makes it cool? Like MI: 3. You can have a job with visu suer where you have to bring wheat bread to work so you can't see the finger stains on the bread, But If you say "I send cameras down suers to check for leaks for environmental protection." it sounds cool. (my brother had that job). Neck deep in other peoples shit= not cool, protecting the environment from biohazard= cool. It's a point of view thing. If you are the baddest motherfucker to ever touch a guitar that's fine but if that ain't your job, it don't mean shit when the "what do you do" question comes up.

Don't get me wrong, guitar skill is cool and if you are professional musician that is awesome, but those of us down here on the ground need to figure out how to make what we do sound like the coolest thing since sliced wheat bread.

[Scoundrel]

My newest answer to the question What do you do is: "I'm a truck driver. But, in my heart, I'm a musician."

This gives me an idea. I'm starting a new thread in off topics.

[dubya]

My job is kind of a downer but since it comes up I try to say it in the most positive way possible.

I work in a Radiation Oncology office where I help run things so that our two doctors can treat people who are sick in the worst way and get them better. It's shake and bake, and I help. But in my heart I'm really a truck driver.