Basics of Conversation - Stories

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;35960]Dallas Lair (in general) has a different outlook on the community and the skill set we've all come here to learn. You are fresh out of a boot camp, and so you will look at the game as a highly structured pseudo-script to follow in-field.

That's not how the veterans of this board operate.

We gravitate more towards congruent NATURAL game. Learn to BE the man, not imitate him.[/QUOTE]


Actually... I'm into natural game. I don't look at it as a script. I do think you could break down a picture of having fun and being successful in the field. I do believe in understanding communication. I think there are some sources for information that are not centered around being a sarge-bot.

I would not have went to a bootcamp for canned crap. I went to bootcamp to learn a natural holistic approach and to work on being more direct and sexual. The exercises and some of what I learned was great.

Anyways.. keep the thread going.. I just wanted to clear up the misunderstanding I think you might be having..

[Guest]

Now, I do want to say... the biggest challenge I'm running into is staying in that "power" spot.... where I'm happy, excited, and feel like I'm the man. just like to be natural and add some knowledge of the game. It's very much a thing of beauty.

On the downside... I hit the ruts that come with dealing with life. Car totaled, need new place live, niece has cancer... So literally I will have a 2 week stretch of glory and then a stretch of of being in a rut of no purpose. I hate that conflict...

Ok.. now carry on.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;35984]I like the spirit of what you're saying here man, there's def ways to embellish on the method I wrote down. I used to use a similar intrigue trick all the time, it's money. This is kind of 201 stuff though, and the post was meant to be the basic meat and potatoes.

You can over-use intrigue. Remember that intrigue is an emotion, and if you're doing this in every story you will seem one-dimensional and boring after a while. Try to cycle in other emotions, like fear of loss, humor, challenge, sexual tension, moments of honesty, etc. to show off your whole persona.

And don't be too afraid of monologues. Who gets to sit around the fire and tell stories when everyone else listens? The alpha man. Just make sure that your monologues ADD to the vibe, that they ADD value and make people feel good.

But great addition, keep it up.[/QUOTE]

I wasn't thinking in terms of using intreague. I was thinking in terms of getting the woman to ante up, to participate in the interaction.

Telling a story in a monologue form definitely comes down to giving value. Sure, it makes people feel good. I agree that the ability to hold people's attention and share a fascinating experience with them is a quality of an alpha man.

However, if you can get the woman to add some value with you, then it will seem more natural for her to escalate the relationship with you. If you give value and give value and then ask her to spend some time alone with you, she's left thinking, "he's a fun guy and everything, but what did *I* do? Why *ME*?" On the other hand, if you tell a story in such a way that it is partly her creation, then you both are sharing, you both are laughing, you both are giving and taking, and you both feel deserving of the other. It is much more natural to escalate the relationship in that case.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=bigdprince;35988]I would not have went to a bootcamp for canned crap. I went to bootcamp to learn a natural holistic approach and to work on being more direct and sexual. The exercises and some of what I learned was great.[/QUOTE]

I agree with you. I took a RSD bootcamp. There was very little canned material. It was about opening and vibing and escalating. 80% of it took place in the field. I thought it was a great experience.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;35997]I wasn't thinking in terms of using intreague. I was thinking in terms of getting the woman to ante up, to participate in the interaction.

Telling a story in a monologue form definitely comes down to giving value. Sure, it makes people feel good. I agree that the ability to hold people's attention and share a fascinating experience with them is a quality of an alpha man.

However, if you can get the woman to add some value with you, then it will seem more natural for her to escalate the relationship with you. If you give value and give value and then ask her to spend some time alone with you, she's left thinking, "he's a fun guy and everything, but what did *I* do? Why *ME*?" On the other hand, if you tell a story in such a way that it is partly her creation, then you both are sharing, you both are laughing, you both are giving and taking, and you both feel deserving of the other. It is much more natural to escalate the relationship in that case.[/QUOTE]

No offense, but I've noticed that you're a pretty high-strung guy, right? It's cool, we can all get that way sometimes. You should try to work on mellowing out brother, the ladies love that.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;36001]No offense, but I've noticed that you're a pretty high-strung guy, right? It's cool, we can all get that way sometimes. You should try to work on mellowing out brother, the ladies love that.[/QUOTE]

Regarding my post, I guess it depends on your frame of mind when you read it and what you bring to it. Generally speaking, though, most people tell me I'm too laid back.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;36005]Regarding my post, I guess it depends on your frame of mind when you read it and what you bring to it. Generally speaking, though, most people tell me I'm too laid back.[/QUOTE]

That's cool man. No worries then.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;36007]That's cool man. No worries then.[/QUOTE]

It's cool. Great thread, Grim.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;35997]I wasn't thinking in terms of using intreague. I was thinking in terms of getting the woman to ante up, to participate in the interaction.

Telling a story in a monologue form definitely comes down to giving value. Sure, it makes people feel good. I agree that the ability to hold people's attention and share a fascinating experience with them is a quality of an alpha man.

However, if you can get the woman to add some value with you, then it will seem more natural for her to escalate the relationship with you. If you give value and give value and then ask her to spend some time alone with you, she's left thinking, "he's a fun guy and everything, but what did *I* do? Why *ME*?" On the other hand, if you tell a story in such a way that it is partly her creation, then you both are sharing, you both are laughing, you both are giving and taking, and you both feel deserving of the other. It is much more natural to escalate the relationship in that case.[/QUOTE]



If you incorporate other people into your stories, then you're not telling a story. The entire point of storytelling is to show the woman, while you're in the spot light, that you have a fun life, that you're exciting, that you're articulate, that you're outgoing, and that you're interested in her enough to tell her that story. It's simple, if you can capture a woman's attention for the 2 - 3 minutes it takes to tell a kick ass story, then you've captured her imagination. That's what the whole point of storytelling is, to capture her imagination.

What you're talking about is creating a fantasy world. This is where you say something like we should run off and get married, then raise pet rocks on a farm in New Zealand. To which she can add her vision as well. This is a great technique for creating rapport. But, stories are totally different.

I truly believe that you do want a girl asking herself, 'why did this guy pick ME?' This gives you the upper hand and makes her feel as if she has to prove to you that she is worthy of you. If a girl asks, 'why me?' then you've won. You can do anything you want from there forward. She just put you on a pedestal and that's some fun shit right there.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;36019]If you incorporate other people into your stories, then you're not telling a story. The entire point of storytelling is to show the woman, while you're in the spot light, that you have a fun life, that you're exciting, that you're articulate, that you're outgoing, and that you're interested in her enough to tell her that story. It's simple, if you can capture a woman's attention for the 2 - 3 minutes it takes to tell a kick ass story, then you've captured her imagination. That's what the whole point of storytelling is, to capture her imagination.[/QUOTE]

That is one way to tell a story, and Grimm covered that very well.

I attempted to add a different perspective. It's something I read about in [URL="http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=745"][COLOR=#800080]a post in this forum[/COLOR][/URL], which is a cross-posted [URL="http://www.seductiontuition.com/wilder/story-theory.html"][COLOR=#800080]article by Wilder[/COLOR][/URL].

[QUOTE=Bull Run;36019]What you're talking about is creating a fantasy world. This is where you say something like we should run off and get married, then raise pet rocks on a farm in New Zealand. To which she can add her vision as well. This is a great technique for creating rapport. But, stories are totally different.[/QUOTE]

Actually, I'm not talking about creating a fantasy world. I'm talking about telling a true story. I would like to get better at telling a story in such a way that I leave unanswered questions.

[QUOTE=Bull Run;36019]I truly believe that you do want a girl asking herself, 'why did this guy pick ME?' This gives you the upper hand and makes her feel as if she has to prove to you that she is worthy of you. If a girl asks, 'why me?' then you've won. You can do anything you want from there forward. She just put you on a pedestal and that's some fun shit right there.[/QUOTE]

I like the way you put that.