The disloyal wife/girlfriend

[Guest]

So it's not up to the girl to be a responsible adult and keep it in her pants? Orrrr to express said dissatisfaction with her b/f and openly discuss issues? Some things just come down to people making bad decisions due to failures of role models in their life. e.g. Mom and Dad

[Guest]

I approach this situation from two directions...first, I let my GF know that I am confident, not jealous and she can talk to whoever she wants...I have even let several ex-GFs spend the night at guy's houses if they got too drunk to drive and let me know where they were staying.

All that being said, I am a strong believe in evolution based on experience and know that most girls find male protective behavior to be very sexy. If a guy is crossing a line, I will confront and if need be, fight them. It has never failed to get the girl I am with to show my affection or even get me laid. Girls like guys who can protect them...even from their own random emotions...

[Guest]

[blockquote] If you're out with a girl who you are exclusive with, either she's your girlfriend or your wife, and she starts showing obvious displays of attraction towards another man, in your presence, what the fuck are you supposed to do? Or is it too late...you've already lost attraction with her and the mistake(s) are already made? [/blockquote]

I believe you need to physically exert yourself between her and the guy she is flirting with. Say shes dancing with some guy and gets a little too provocative. Thats when you should step in and give both of them a look of displeasure and pull your chic away. Exhibit full "alpha" qualities. Use your body language to let her know she pushed the boundaries too far. Its totally possible that she's looking for attention/affection from somebody else because you aren't providing it!

If this behavior continues voice your concerns and let her know you don't approve and its disrespectful to you, her, and your relationship. Some women appreciate and are attracted to a guy that will "real" them in and keep them in check.

I used to be that guy whose girl flirted with everybody else right in front of me. I thought it was harmless in the beginning, but her behavior became more and more of a problem over time. Kind of like the little kid who continually gets away with something they shouldn't. Over time they get away with more and more and become little monsters. You have got to step in and show some alpha characteristics and take control of the situation.

[Guest]

[quote1247055390=bulovard]
So it's not up to the girl to be a responsible adult and keep it in her pants? Orrrr to express said dissatisfaction with her b/f and openly discuss issues? Some things just come down to people making bad decisions due to failures of role models in their life. e.g. Mom and Dad
[/quote1247055390]

Of course it is, just as much as it the guys responsibility. In a successful relationship it takes both parties to keep each other on the right path.

[quote1247055390=bulovard]
Some things just come down to people making bad decisions due to failures of role models in their life. e.g. Mom and Dad
[/quote1247055390]
EXACTLY! Most people are a product of how they were raised. If her mother couldn't deal with her marital problems, its likely because she never had the skills to do so. And guess what........because her mother never had the skills, she won't have them either. When you decide you've found the girl of your dreams, get to know her mother real well. ;-)

And another thing that comes to mind is all of these women flirt/cheat for different reasons. Some do to illicit value for themselves. Its a slippery slope in disciplining this type of behavior. When you try and put sanctions on some, you'll actually push them away. Others will respect your for putting your foot down. You really need to get into her head and figure out why she is doing what she is doing and what needs aren't being met. You figure all this out and you'll have her eating out of your hand as she did when you first met.

[Guest]

++++So it's not up to the girl to be a responsible adult and keep it in her pants?++++

Most women who cheat, and the friends of women who cheat, all tell me it's because the man was fucking up. Maybe this is just woman's rationalization. Maybe it's reality.

My belief: If your girl is fucking another guy, it's because YOU fucked up. It's not a reflection on her, it's a reflection on you.

[Guest]

It's pure rationalization. People inherently do not want to see themselves as the bad person. They will come up with a reason that the failure in their life could not possibly be their fault. Again it comes down to being adult enough to realize something is broken and either A) talk about it B) call it quits and walk away.

[Guest]

It is rationalization, but so what? The issue here isn't morality, it's prevention. If I stroll around in a bad part of town flashing my Rolex watch, and someone mugs me, obviously the mugger is morally culpable, and totally in the wrong. But at the same time there are certain things I could have done to prevent it, like maybe not wearing my watch into a bad neighborhood, or staying out of that neighborhood all together.

[Guest]

[quote1247170881=UncleHOwie]
And another thing that comes to mind is all of these women flirt/cheat for different reasons. Some do to illicit value for themselves. Its a slippery slope in disciplining this type of behavior. When you try and put sanctions on some, you'll actually push them away. Others will respect your for putting your foot down. [b]You really need to get into her head and figure out why she is doing what she is doing and what needs aren't being met. You figure all this out and you'll have her eating out of your hand as she did when you first met. [/b][/quote1247170881]

Totally agree!

[Guest]

The forum is about pickup so this thread has gotten off topic. Suffice to say yes if there is a fire burning your house go ahead and check into that maybe. Usually I fear the guy is the cuplrit because his girl has no respect and/or he has no balls.