The only 2 reasons why you do, or not do

[fasol26]

What's up guys. This would be my first post to the site. Deciding to make it on a topic that really get's down to the root cause of basically why all us humans are successful or not successful (This is just my opinion)...

Through out your life there is alot of thing's that you have made a decision upon for you to execute. Many of these decisions that you have made have either caused you success or failure, and most likely you have had more failures than success. There are also thing's that you want to do now, but basically you don't, and there are things that you want to do now that you are actually doing (stay with me this will all make sense in a few moments) So ask yourself a question.. Why is it that there are certain thing's that I want to do but I don't? and why are there thing's that I don't want to do but I do? Mindboggling huh?

Think about it.. Your in a nightclub, your hearing the music, your seeing the girl's, and from what you have learned in the community you know you are supposed to approach, but your actually finding yourself talking to your friends, going to the restroom, or buying a drink FIRST!... You actually know what you want..YOU WANT THE GIRL, but is like something is stopping you, Well I can sit here and tell you a million reasons why you are not approaching, I could say confidence, self esteem, reaction seeking, your felling liKE your not worthy etc.. But the main reason is really this...YOU ARE TRYING TO AVOID PAIN!...That is really it, That is your enemy that has been holding you back this whole time. Is the reason why you didn't talk to that girl in your classroom and is the reason why you don't talk to a girl today and if you don't handle this it will prevent you from talking to girls in the future.

Now this does not only apply to game, but really it applies to everything in your life. Why didn't you try out for that team back in school, why didn't you apply for that position at your job, you didn;t try out for a number thing's when you knew you actually had a chance but something inside didn't let you. And that was you were TRYING TO AVOID PAIN. The reason you will ever do or not do something for the rest of your life is only one of these two reasons. YOU ARE TYING TO GAIN PLEASURE or YOUR TRYING TO AVOID PAIN. Picture this.. Your eating an ice cream, it taste sooo good, now answer me this question why did you eat the ice cream? You basically were trying to gain pleasure, Picture this...

You go to the gym, you iven have a trainer waiting there for you, so the trainer starts working you out and you work really hard and your beginning to believe that this is not really that hard and that you can do this everyday. You go home... The next day you wake up and your in this terrible pain, YOUR SORE, that trainer pushed you a little too hard, You have a meeting with him at 3pm for another workout but you decide your not going... why? basically you were trying to avoid pain. We find ourself's with girls and we dont do certain thing's because basically we are trying to avoid pain instead of trying to gain pleasure. Those who are the rockstars in this game do thing's when their with girls to gain pleasure, while the chodes afc's etc dont do thing's to try to avoid pain. Now this is like a muscle.. Your trying to avoid pain muscle is bigger than you trying to gain pleasure muscle. You have to work it for it to grow. From this point on do thing's for the gaining of pleasure instead of avoidance of pain.

The more you work on it the more you will or will not do thing's to gain pleasure instead of avoidance of pain. Now there are alot of tools out there that are very effective to help you eliminate the habbit to avoid pain, and some are...

1. Reading self help books
2. Listening to self help audios
3. Healthy lifestyle (believe it or not)
4. Associating with like minded people (those who are into game)
5. Going to event's and seminars (Self help)
And many more....

But really all you have to do is make decisions and act more upon doing things for gain of pleasure instead of avoidance of pain. It will take time but you can always get better at this. Remember Losers do thing's to avoid pain. WINNERS do things to gain pleasure. Winners jump out of an airplane to gain pleasure. Losers dont jump out of an airplane to avoid pain. Be the leader dont follow the leader.

Now this is my first post I have posted in along time. So if you have hard time reading this I apologize, I will try to get better.

[Triumvirate]

Thanks for the contribution to the site. Its great when you can get your thoughts out about certain subjects, but also provide content to this forum that may help out others.

I think that most people may be willing to endure the pain if they can see a realistic pleasure as a result. The reason that most people don't take action is that they can't realistically see the reward for the output they are doing and they are expecting to do a lot less work for the results that they are looking for.

When I go out with new members of the community is that most guys are complaining about their lack of result.

"I talked to five women and I didn't get any numbers"
"I've gone out 3 times and I don't FEEL myself getting better with women"

I simply tell them that this is a lifestyle. You're going to have to go out a lot more often, and you are going to have to talk to a lot more women when you DO go out.

I believe the key is consistency in regard to action is keeping things in perspective. One should focus more on what you can control and not on things that are outside of your control.

Interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

[fasol26]

I agree with you Triumvirate. Most guys would endure the pain if they can see a realistic pleasure at the end, And that's the key word "realistic" They don't believe it can happen to them so all they see is pain at the end of the tunnel por say,

Everything we do or not do is motivated by one of two thing's A) A desire for gain (Pleasure) or B) Fear of loss (Pain) And what people need to understand is that all this is internal, subconscious. Now I believe in my opinion that all human being's and I mean ALL are motivated, and the motivation varies from person to person but it all comes down to this..

Some are motivated to do thing's or not do thing's to gain pleasure, and some are motivated to do or not do thing's to avoid pain. This includes's the homeless person to lazy person and it also includes the millionaire to the middle class individual.

I agree that consistency is the key to really almost anything we want to achieve, But consistency itself can happen faster and be more effective and last longer if we can eliminate these emotional block's and those block's are emotions that carry "FEAR" And those emotions are in our mind and we absolutely have 100 percent control over them.

[thelifestylegod]

Here's something that worked for me:

Forget the 2 reasons.. forget your fears and even your wants. Just do it. Just go into the set, open, and let the chips fall where they may.

It doesn't matter whether you succeed or fail, the big gain is in the fact that you start implementing your habit. And if you get to a point where your mind is simply not processing any of the crap that it wants to, you're well on your way to becoming an approach machine.

I remember back when I was a rookie about this thing, that literally set me apart of my buddies when it comes to approaching women.

Whenever I knew it was time to approach, my mind became... stuck... in a way. I knew it's something I HAD to do, just like when you have an exam or a job interview. So I just went. The simple fact that my mind was focused on "having to do it" meant that I wasn't focused on being afraid.

You know how the brain can only focus on one thing at a time, right? Well, I used to focus on "having to do it" for so long that my fear would disappear almost completely. I say almost because, indeed, I had AA, but it wasn't my dominant emotion anymore.

Let's go get'em,
Don

[motwar]

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