Beginner's Guide

[Mojo]

Good Beginner's guide. Credit to Drama of RSD for this post.
source: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/170650/forum
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Mistake #1: You DON’T GO OUT…

This is pretty damn obvious, but guys ask all the time how to get through this specific sticking point, and when you ask how many times a week they go out, their response is “well…I’ve just been so busy lately.” What they don’t realize is that when you go out, these little sticking points fix themselves rather quickly. It gets said all the time, but I want to reinforce the fact that you will learn 10x more from going out one night than watching 20 hours of DVDs. NO JOKE. The material is great, and I highly recommend it, but if you aren’t going out, you’re just mentally masturbating.

Mistake #2: You AREN'T Physically Escalating

Being physical with women is so damn important. When you first go out, you probably won't be congruent with it, but that's fine...you have to start somewhere. Getting physical is as simple as shaking her hand or giving her a hug. The point is that you continue to get more physical throughout the interaction. I usually don't use routines, but when I get physical with girls, I usually follow a pattern (after I've built up social momentum, I naturally drop it):

1. Spin handshake - just as it sounds, when I meet girls, I'll spin them around
2. Hand clasp - I usually do this right after the spin, but sometimes I'll clasp a girls hands after she says something I like
3. Spin hug - I LOVE this. Bend at your knees and pick up a girl under her ass, stand up, and spin her around. DON'T hug her -- it crushes the ribs and fucking hurts
4. Neck bite
5. Waltz Dance - while you're holding the girl, put your hand down on her ass and waltz with her
6. Eyes closed kiss - we were taught this on BC, but I don't do it. "Tell the girl to close her eyes, then kiss her..." -- I just go for the makeout with girls all the time anyway
7. Rapport rocking - this is cool if you're standing up -- just hold her like you're in High School dance (except you aren't a foot apart ) and rock back and forth and talk

It is easier if you see this (bootcamp = highly recommended), but also realize that there is a reason we use this as a routine. You don't want to be focusing on things while you are out in the field. I don't want to be thinking "I need to get physical..." -- after a while it becomes natural, and there is no thought...but this little stack helped me learn everything and do it unconsciously. I also like to go out and try to "over-physically escalate" on nights...you don't think much about calibration haha

The difference between getting the girl and being entertaining is PHYSICAL ESCALATION. I'd also recommend Ozzie's book "The Physical Game." Ozzie wrote a book on the damn subject...must be a little important?

Mistake #3: Learning It All

This is probably the most common mistake guys make who discover RSD. You have that thirst for gaining as much knowledge as possible! You cannot create the perfect approach and never get blown out…IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

I spent an entire year learning everything I could from RSD before I started going out. I had the theory down pat, and I was offering advice to guys who went out based on my THEORY knowledge (Read: keyboard jockey).

After I landed a fake ID when I turned 20, I began going out one night a week and doing approaches. I fucking sucked. I couldn’t apply all of that knowledge I had spent so much time learning! I persevered, and continued to go out with non-community friends every weekend for a year, but I spent the majority of that time being heavily intoxicated and relying on liquid courage. In that time, I got more comfortable approaching strangers, I got a bunch of makeouts, and numerous flakey phone numbers…but I never pulled a girl from the bar.

Mistake #4: Premature-Ejectulation

This is fucking big…when most guys aren’t getting a good reaction from a girl they just shrug their shoulders, give up, and walk away. NO! THIS IS SPARTA!!

“Either YOU FUCK or THEY LEAVE” – Jeffy

If they are still standing in front of you, it's ON…burn your shit to the fucking GROUND.

Mistake #5: Playing To NOT LOSE

This cannot be about ego validation…it is about GETTING LAID. The best thing you can do is go for the makeout, # close, isolation/venue change with every girl…ZERO EXCEPTIONS.

"If she's hot enough to open, she's hot enough to close." – Jeffy

Don’t make excuses to chode around! Play TO WIN, don’t play to NOT LOSE.

Mistake #6: NOT Leading

It is safe to say that the majority of your failures in the field are due to NOT leading. Leading shows the girl that you are a MAN, that you can take charge of the situation. LEADING is not hard! It is as simple as stepping back and pulling her with, or grabbing her hand and moving her to face a different direction. You can physically and verbally lead (you should be doing both). Grab her and take her to the bar so you can get water, command her to move over so you can sit next to her on a chair or sofa…

LEADING feels natural. When you aren’t doing it, you’ll feel that void in the interaction…the vibe doesn’t feel RIGHT.

Mistake #7: Failure To Build SOCIAL MOMENTUM

You either have it, or you don’t. At the beginning of the night you have ZERO momentum (unless you go out 7 nights a week – try it for one week…so crazy)…BUT by the end of the night you have built up massive social momentum (assuming you are doing approaches and not choding around).

When you first get out to the club, it feels strange thinking about doing approaches and talking to a bunch of people, but after you get that momentum built up, it feels WEIRD to NOT APPROACH.

Every approach is a SUCCESS because it is leading you to a greater state of social momentum. Remember, the first 2 hours don’t count – you’re just getting warmed up

Mistake #8: Trying To Impress

So many guys do this when they talk to women! Hell, I even get caught doing this time to time…it isn’t just a beginner mistake. If you have read anything on RSDn, then you’ve probably heard “expression not impression.”

What does this really mean?

“In any given social interaction, one person is always reacting more than the other.”

When you are saying things you think a girl will find funny or interesting, you are TRYING to impress her. You aren’t speaking from your core…you’re inside your head SEEKING A REACTION. NOOO! This is so bad.

When you are speaking from your core and talking about what you find interesting and amusing, the girl gets sucked into YOUR reality. She is interested in what you are passionate about and what you find to be interesting. THAT is what girls want…a guy that can express himself without fear of judgment or hesitation.

You NEVER want to try to convince a girl to like you. This isn’t a logical game, it is all EMOTIONAL. Remember, they feel whatever you feel.

When you are speaking from your core and amusing yourself, the girl is going to feel that too!

Mistake #9: Weak Vocal Projection

I believe that the correct vocal tone and projection is extremely important.

You aren’t speaking to the girl, you are speaking THROUGH HER. Imagine that she is six feet back from where you are talking…unless you’re whispering in her ear…then you might just blow her eardrums.

Speak from your diaphragm and project your voice.

ALSO, breaking rapport is fucking MONEY. Owen ran a cool exercise during Hotseat where we practice the different vocal tonalities. I always pictured breaking rapport with being loud, but that isn’t the entire picture. You don’t have to be loud to break rapport…it is all in your tonality.

To get the right mix, say “yo” aloud, but imagine that you are saying it to your best friend who you just walked in on fucking your MOM…pretty intense right?

Now, mix that “yo” with a laid back laughing vibe… “yooo!”

It is tough to type this shit, but if you have attended Hotseat, Bootcamp, or watched some of the DVDs, I’m sure you can catch a recorded demo.

Just remember, breaking rapport isn’t about being super loud like a police officer yelling, but it is a tonality that you need to get down unconsciously (Read: go out a lot).

Mistake #10: Lack of INTENT

What is intent…?

Intent = Clarity in your words, thoughts, and actions.

“Approaching straight on, with zero hesitation, and leading the conversation, is the key to intent.”

Intent is being complete in what you are doing…regardless of the situation. You can have strong intent with any action!

So…when you are approaching a girl, your intent is: “I’m approaching this girl because I want to see what she is about. I’m clear in my thoughts, actions, and what I am saying.”

It sounds cryptic, but when you break it down, intent is quite simple, and having INTENT makes a significant impact on your success! When you approach a girl with some ulterior motive, you are NOT showing intent. You are hiding your true desires, and this is unattractive. Girls pick up on this extremely well, and I would assume unconsciously.

Mistake #11: Outcome Dependence

ir•rev•er•ent - deficient in veneration or respect

More simply put…NOT GIVING A FUCK

Freedom from outcome is so damn important. It will make or break you in this game. Now, it isn’t as easy to develop as you may think. You won’t read on RSDn “don’t be outcome dependent…DURR” and then *poof* you have completely eliminated all traces of outcome dependence to your core…

It takes time and effort to develop TRUE irreverence. Jeff and Owen are prime examples of two guys who DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK what anyone thinks of them. Owen doesn’t even care if everyone hates his free tour speech…he is presenting what he believes in, and you can either accept it or hate it…BUT that doesn’t affect him either way. Watching Jeff in field was fucking awesome. He is the epitome of irreverence.

Realize that there is not ONE GUY on this planet that every girl is attracted to…except me of course. If you’re not getting rejected, you’re not approaching enough girls or hitting up the harder sets.

1/3 of girls will not like you NO MATTER WHAT
1/3 of girls may like you but won’t hook up with you (serious boyfriend, married, etc…)
1/3 of girls are DTF – you have chemistry with these girls

That is one reason why we do so many damn approaches. We are weeding through the girls that are going to waste our time and not meet our standards so we can find those cool girls that we connect with and then fuck their brains out