Build Raport with Anyone

[Guest]

I read this in a book and I have field tested it on several day 2's and 1 instant date. This is social dynamite for establishing comfort and rapport.

[B]What it is:[/B] This is a technique to build a massive amount of rapport with anyone very quickly. This will fast track you after your opener if you are doing day game.

[B]Where can it be used:[/B] In a quite, non-distracting place. One on one conversation.

[B]Who can it be used on:[/B] Works on both sex's and multiple social groups.

[B]Background:
[/B]
In most conversations that a man has with a new person (stranger) he will ask a question. As an example, let's say our test subject as "What do you like to do?" The target responds with.. I like to go (xyz) Fishing (as an example).

The way most men respond is with scanning their memory and trying to find a story (DHV in the community) that is relevant to that response and then respond with said DHV. Our subject is trying to gain commonality with the target and indirectly DHV to gain rapport with his target.

The issue with this structure is that it does not instantly provide a deep connection, it can relate our ignorance about a subject (DLV) or it can leave us with little or nothing to say, and it can make it seem like it is all about us.

[B]The Technique:[/B]

Instead of wracking our brains for a funny DHV story related to what the target has responded with, we need to ask ourselves three questions based on what our target responded with:

[LIST=1]
[*]What type of person would do this? -- Shows Character Traits
[*]How would that person feel when they were doing this? -Shows emotions
[*]Why would someone do this? - Shows motivations
[/LIST]

So in our example above, our target said that s/he liked to fish.

Q: What type of person likes to fish?
A: A person who likes the outdoors, an adventurous person. Someone who loves nature. Someone who likes a challenge. Someone who is not bored easily.

Q: How does fishing make this person feel?
A: This person feels successful, victorious, when catching a fish. Relaxed, Peaceful, when not catching a fish. etc..

Q: Why would someone do this?
A: To feel all the things described in A1 and A2. maybe they have other motivations, important to their father/brother, etc. Annual trip..

Now with the answers to these questions, you can put together a statement that allows you to thread your conversation around their answers, to go in different directions and to make them feel really connected with you.

[B]Example:[/B]

PUA: What do you do for fun?

HB: I like to paint.

PUA: (To themselves ask the 3 questions) I've never painted before, but I can see that it must take a creative and talented person to do that, and I imagine that it takes alot of practice to get good at it. You must be a really peaceful and driven person to be able to do that.

HB: ( what they say here is more fodder for the technique)

PUA: (Thread Twist, DHV, and rinse and repeat this technique to amp comfort and rapport.)

[B]Body Language Elements to Consider:[/B]

The importance of body language here can not be understated. While doing this, you should actively be mirroring and leading your target until you are physically in sync.

[Guest]

That's pretty good advice
It must take a generous and helpful person to relay information like this to those of us who are struggling with conversation skills
I am glad you're here, and I will surely make good use of your advice.


How'd I do??

[Guest]

Horrible, you talked about you too much on the parts that matter.

He missed a piece. Think about what they can say in response.

This technique is like a question. If you make your statement properly, it will prompt them to open up more and start dialog. With your statement you left it closed. What's left for them to say, "OK?" They can't respond to: [QUOTE]"It must take a generous and helpful person to relay information like this to those of us who are struggling with conversation skills"[/QUOTE]Because then they are bragging or gloating; a social no-no. The only thing left is a statement:

[QUOTE]I am glad you're here, and I will surely make good use of your advice.[/QUOTE]

[Guest]

Q: What type of person would write up an article about building rapport and conversation skills?

A: A person who is into psychology, a person who wants to learn about communication skills, a person who believes in what he is saying, and therefore wants to share it.

Q: How would a person feel when writing this article?

A: They would feel good that they shared a tip that worked for them.

Q: Why would someone do this?

A: Largely answered already. Speaking for myself, I could add selfish reasons, but you don't want to respond in such a way.

Now that the questions are answered. Maybe your response could be.

"I see that your really into psychology and the interactions between people. People have always really fascinated me too."

What I am doing here is prompting for more information. It is socially not acceptable for me to prompt like that and for someone not to respond, or just to respond with a yes or no answer. Once they respond, you can rinse and repeat, DHV, etc...