by Guest » Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:32 pm
[quote1237814567=Finesse]This is one of the negative side effects of "going at it solo". Until you do figure it out you chance not knowing shit about social interactions and fucking things up.[/quote1237814567]
Absolutely, but fucking things up is the one of the best ways to learn. I think going out in groups has its good points, you do learn a lot about a person's style and you may, or may not, incorporate some of their style into yours. But, how would SP ever know that flicking chicks off does or doesn't work for HIM if he doesn't give it a shot?
Now, in his mind, he may have a totally different definition of 'work' and 'effective' and 'success.' Which, he has got to define for himself. In this case, it seems that 'success' was generating reactions. Just having someone react is NOT 'success' in the traditional sense. Fact is that if you did not close a girl with the 'bird' tactic, then you are either not ready for said tactic or it's just not going to work for you at all (read that it's not congruent to your personality).
Solo sarging isn't just about going out and doing shit to get reactions. If that's what people think, then I've been lacking in my articulation of what solo sarging truly is. As with anything in life, you have to have some type of game plan before you leave the house. You have to have a road map. It takes preparation and thought BEFORE you ever do anything. Shit, half of the work is done before you leave the house.
[quote1237814567=Finesse]Concepts like, DHV, Value, Alpha, blowing out are just that, concepts. Luckily Solace is a pretty solid guy so you "blowing him out" just meant that now he has to justify to the girls or set as to why/how he knows you. Meaning he has to acknowledge you are socially challenged and change frame really fast or acknowledge and concur a little then change frame really fast, either situation is precarious.[/quote1237814567]
Totally agree. Solace probably just had to explain his affiliation with SP. This happens all the time, even when you're running Game with some of the 'better' guys.
[quote1237814567=Finesse]Its been said again and again, routines are meant to HELP you understand things in which I just explained, not help you develop a style. The false conception a lot of aspiring PUAs have is that these routines are meant to define a new you, which is NOT the case. They are meant to help you understand the various ways a social interaction can go when involved and to help guide you through that maze and control the frames/lead people.[/quote1237814567]
Routines are a short cut to being able to have something to say in a conversation. If you think about it, everyone has routines, everyone. We all have stories that we've told more than once to people and will tell again. These are routines. But, normal people don't build a stack. That's one thing that SP, in particular, has mentioned to me in the past. You don't need a routine for your routines. You just need a handful of fun, interesting, unique things that you can rely on when you're talking to people.
[quote1237814567=Finesse]You see how both of these things make you feel? You justifying your actions instead of showing that you don't understand what Solace is talking about could potentially make him feel a lack of respect for you. You could hurt his feelings, he could simply not care. Just like with me calling you out on this, however this is a crash course on WHY people should have someone more experienced looking over their shoulders. Had this been in any other social forum I would not have called you out, but since we are here to learn and grow, that is why I must. Ask yourself this, would you expect an accountant to flip someone off?[/quote1237814567]
In a perfect world, we would all have someone watching over our shoulders with our best interest at heart who has a 100% understanding of us as an individual. But, this is not a perfect world. Fortunately, as you said, we have a penis. Part of being a man is just finding a fucking way to succeed. Period. Some will, some will not. But, you'll still get better, even if you don't become great. Having someone watch over your shoulder requires two things: 1) the person watching understands who you are as a person and 2) the person watching is trying to mold you into the person you are meant to become, not a facsimile of themselves (which is often the case with mentors).
There are simply way too many people running around out there trying to be Mystery or Style or Juggler or whatever. Sure, their material and thoughts and experiences are valuable. They provide great insight and an even better guide in the beginning. But, what works for them works for them. What works for you works for you. What works for me works for me. Just because it works for one doesn't mean it works for all. I doubt many guys could pull off my Knowing Glances Routine...I know I probably couldn't pull off The Bird Routine. That's just the way of the world. The only way you're ever going to figure it out is if you give it a shot.
You're going to fuck up. You're going to fail. You're going to offend people. You're going to feel very humbled. This is all good as long as you're learning something from it. If you laugh it off and don't ask the tough questions like: 'holy shit, that girl totally hated me' I wonder what it was that I did? If you don't ask those questions, then you're just being a dick to people.
I learned a couple of these things this weekend myself when I reflected on the night:
1) no need to be so political...if you don't agree with me then you're wrong, I don't have to rub it in ;)
2) Just/Us I always seem to be the biggest dick to you man. I have no idea why. And, I'm even thinking to myself while we chat 'fuck man, I'm being a dick...I need to stop being a dick' which oddly enough causes me to be an even bigger dick. Sorry dude.
Point is, you can learn as much as you want if you hold yourself accountable for your actions. Having someone look over your shoulder will be helpful, but understand that the buck stops with you.