Just wondering, has any PU Guru ever come up with a method of eliminating the LJBF thinking a girl has towards you?
My best friend is a natural, yet he preys off of girls that he is already friends with, and being a natural, he succeeds.
If there is a way that a natural born pua can overcome the LJBF zone shouldn't there be a way for you and I to be able to do that?
If anyone knows of any post on any website about this could you please reply with it.
It's just been on my mind lately and I have been trying to figure out if someone has studied the way naturals overcome this or if they haven't then why haven't they.
It is obviously not imperative that I figure this out because I know. now that I am in the community, my limit is not my female friends, every girl out there is mine for the choosing. The thought has just been occupying my mind lately.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Let's Just Be Friends
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by Guest » Fri Jan 02, 2009 4:05 am
Is there a specific situation here you have a question about?
Here's what I think - in general.
First, it's not ALWAYS about getting laid. There's nothing wrong with having girls as friends with no sexual interest from either side. Sometimes it's awesome to get to know people just as people and consider that a reward in itself.
Second, if you like this girl and you want a sexual relationship, obviously the key is to set a sexual expectation and undertone to your relationship. I.e build sexual tension.
Of course, given that you're new this may be like asking someone who's learing their ABC's to study Hamlet. That's to say, you're going to have to build your interpersonal skills to a point where you can be sexy and not slip in to creep-ville.
Here's what I think - in general.
First, it's not ALWAYS about getting laid. There's nothing wrong with having girls as friends with no sexual interest from either side. Sometimes it's awesome to get to know people just as people and consider that a reward in itself.
Second, if you like this girl and you want a sexual relationship, obviously the key is to set a sexual expectation and undertone to your relationship. I.e build sexual tension.
Of course, given that you're new this may be like asking someone who's learing their ABC's to study Hamlet. That's to say, you're going to have to build your interpersonal skills to a point where you can be sexy and not slip in to creep-ville.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:25 am
Can't add too much to what Grimm said except that there is a difference between being a friend with a girl and being in the friend zone... if your friend is a natural I would guess these girls probably were open to him even though they were friends and when the opportunity comes along they take it... that's different than when the girl has decided she's definitely not interested and 'just wants to be friends.' So I don't think he really overcame anything he was just working an opportunity that was already there.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:53 am
How old are you?
It's a very important question because the younger you are the more frequently you get put in the LBJF zone. Younger women tend to prefer to be friends and have the relationship evolve into something different later on. Young women need a little bit more comfort and face time before they decide to have sex with you, this comes from a lack of sexual confidence.
The older I've gotten, the less LJBF comes up. It's usually fuck me or fuck off.
I 'suspect' that the 'naturals' you speak of are probably treating the girls the exact same way they treat every other girl. Most naturals never really acknowledge the presence of the zone, they ignore the comment and continue acting the same way they always did which is probably a mixture of being aloof, indifferent, and cocky/funny. I think the zone probably only exists for an AFC because they do one of two things: 1) try harder, which gets annoying because you're doing the same needy things you did before just at a higher frequency and volume 2) they disappear, they give up. Where the natural, as I stated before, probably doesn't really change much of anything.
The AFC fails the test because they took it (let's face it all shit tests are only passed when you don't take them). The natural passes the test because they didn't even acknowledge it.
It's a very important question because the younger you are the more frequently you get put in the LBJF zone. Younger women tend to prefer to be friends and have the relationship evolve into something different later on. Young women need a little bit more comfort and face time before they decide to have sex with you, this comes from a lack of sexual confidence.
The older I've gotten, the less LJBF comes up. It's usually fuck me or fuck off.
I 'suspect' that the 'naturals' you speak of are probably treating the girls the exact same way they treat every other girl. Most naturals never really acknowledge the presence of the zone, they ignore the comment and continue acting the same way they always did which is probably a mixture of being aloof, indifferent, and cocky/funny. I think the zone probably only exists for an AFC because they do one of two things: 1) try harder, which gets annoying because you're doing the same needy things you did before just at a higher frequency and volume 2) they disappear, they give up. Where the natural, as I stated before, probably doesn't really change much of anything.
The AFC fails the test because they took it (let's face it all shit tests are only passed when you don't take them). The natural passes the test because they didn't even acknowledge it.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Jan 02, 2009 1:38 pm
God that's really tough to answer. There's no real general thing I can come up with that answers this.
One of the things is the proper male-female dynamic. If you get LJBF'ed alot, you're probably acting more or less like a friend.
You're probably missing IOI's or being insecure and generally not showing interest, not doing any "Game" or flirtation.
A girl might see this as weak.
She would think "this guy likes me but he always backs down when I show him attention or he never asks me out. So I guess I'll spare his feelings and LJBF him."
See, LJBF is seen as a way to spare your ego. I won't go deep into Freud here but ego protection is as bad as ego validation or validation seeking. All of which are insercurities.
A Natural is like a good salesman. He doesn't allow his ego to be a part of an interaction. He does his thing and rolls the dice as he works on his approach getting better and better after each interaction.
One of the things is the proper male-female dynamic. If you get LJBF'ed alot, you're probably acting more or less like a friend.
You're probably missing IOI's or being insecure and generally not showing interest, not doing any "Game" or flirtation.
A girl might see this as weak.
She would think "this guy likes me but he always backs down when I show him attention or he never asks me out. So I guess I'll spare his feelings and LJBF him."
See, LJBF is seen as a way to spare your ego. I won't go deep into Freud here but ego protection is as bad as ego validation or validation seeking. All of which are insercurities.
A Natural is like a good salesman. He doesn't allow his ego to be a part of an interaction. He does his thing and rolls the dice as he works on his approach getting better and better after each interaction.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Jan 02, 2009 2:19 pm
[quote1230923515=Tribulus1000]
God that's really tough to answer. There's no real general thing I can come up with that answers this.
[/quote1230923515]
Means it is a good question
:]
My friend, the "natural", was friends with a girl for at least four years.
Then on the fourth year, he had sex with her and lost his virginity.
It wasn't like a booty call or anything either.
He somehow seduced her.
It just has me stumped on how they could be friends and not be flirtatious or anything for +/- four yrs and then have sex.
Maybe the girl was in a vulnerable state or something.
I do not know.
God that's really tough to answer. There's no real general thing I can come up with that answers this.
[/quote1230923515]
Means it is a good question
:]
My friend, the "natural", was friends with a girl for at least four years.
Then on the fourth year, he had sex with her and lost his virginity.
It wasn't like a booty call or anything either.
He somehow seduced her.
It just has me stumped on how they could be friends and not be flirtatious or anything for +/- four yrs and then have sex.
Maybe the girl was in a vulnerable state or something.
I do not know.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Jan 02, 2009 3:02 pm
From what I've read and experienced, women generally put a man in the friend category or might fuck category relatively early on, and it's very hard to change.
Friends are generally "safe" and a lot of times the reason they are considered safe is that they suppress all sexuality, and as a result there is no sexual tension.
My guess is that even though your natural friend was friends with a girl for several years, he wasn't in the friend zone in the sense of being safe and non-sexual.
I think naturals don't generally get in the safe zone to begin with. Sexual confidence goes a long way.
Friends are generally "safe" and a lot of times the reason they are considered safe is that they suppress all sexuality, and as a result there is no sexual tension.
My guess is that even though your natural friend was friends with a girl for several years, he wasn't in the friend zone in the sense of being safe and non-sexual.
I think naturals don't generally get in the safe zone to begin with. Sexual confidence goes a long way.
- Guest
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