Vulnerability, A3, Being Real

[Guest]

My friend Brock used to tell girls he was diabetic. He would share that with them at the right moment. He was the first mentor I had in The Game.

I can't imagine going out to bars and running game and being diabetic. Its horrible. To this day I can't understand how he got so good at The Game and was an instuctor.
Sure he was good looking. He worked out alot. He was funny and he knew alot of psychology.
But the one thing that he used was that vulnerability piece that told the girl "This is who I am".

I had it all wrong. I just want to say that for the record. Captain Jack tried to warn me. I'm sure others did as well.

You get real good at being a faker. You get good at being a performer and a player. Sure women like it but its fake.
I think it was Chris Rock that said "You don't meet the person, you meet their representative".

So when I would go out and game, I would create a really cool representative. Its cooler than most women's.
And I didn't know where it stopped.

I was out last night with my friend Chris and we were talking about the subject of rapport and being vulnerable.
He is so damn good at it. So I just flat out asked "How do you do that?"

He began to talk about A3 and what it really meant and how you can transition to comfort and rapport using a kind of kino escalation.

Remember touch progression? You start with the hands, then the shoulders, then the leg or the back.
You are gradually moving to the center of the girl.

Well, touch progression is an easy way to compliance test and its an easy way of assessing boundaries and getting calibration.

Boundaries being "how cool she is with you touching her" but on a deeper level, how much rapport you have?

Is she uncomfortable? Then back off. Is she ok? Keep going.

Chris also said he would look down (NLP: accessing feelings) and tell her "Wow, you're really cute. Is there something more to you besides you looks?" (A3).

I had this wrong too.

Bait Hook Reel Release is "What nationality are you?" "Italian" "No way. I had the biggest crush on this half Italian girl in college....I can't even talk to you now." (backturn).

The "I can't even talk to you now" + backturn part is NOT a takeaway. It is a vulnerability.

Its like "I just showed you my cards". "I'm a human being too."

Make sense? Its not hardness. Its softness.

The walls are down. Your representatives are gone. Its just the two of you being real. Now I suppose you could take this too far. You could be one of those pansy ass guys who runs around painting flowers, watching chick flicks and crying with his gal pals. Uh no.
That's just gay.

You just want enough to give her a jolt of reality.

Captain Jack had his Heart Melters.

Those were routines that showcased his vulnerabilities. I had one that I used a few times but his $20 Lightbulb story was good and had a touch of sadness in it.

Neil's 100% Perfect Girl routine is like that too.

Personally I think Captain Jack has to overcome alot of this because he's a big tough dude. He has to humble himself quite a bit.

That's why his Heart Melters are so brilliant. I found his original post and will repost it in the appropriate section.

Another aspect to this is this....how many guys talk about their childhood or their grandmothers or cookies or the spelling bee they lost at age 8? Not too many.
Players tend to look tough. Take any douche in the club, he's not going to talk about that wussy shit. If you do, you differentiate from the other douchebags.

I'm done.

I wanted to share this with you guys. Its a huge part of the game that isn't discussed too much.

Tribulus

[Guest]

Interesting.

I think I do something sorta like this when I'm in comfort, though I wasn't doing it deliberately.

Sometimes I tell women about how I've changed in the last couple years, how I used to be unsuccessful with women, and how there are certain types of women that I still have a lot of resentment towards. Depending on the context I may give a sliver of hint about the community, basically how I've put a lot of energy into understanding psychology and how the world really is vs. how it's usually portrayed.

I really do open up once I'm in comfort, and it's the real me.

I'm not sure I agree that opening up and expressing vulnerability is really suited for A3 / qualification / transition to comfort. I would say it should come after the transition. After you "discover" that she's cool and "realize" that you're attracted to her, then opening up can be a sort of reward.

Not a hard and fast rule though. I would say opening up and showing vulnerability can come during any part, and you can throw elements of grounding into any phase of game, but during comfort is when you really want to push it the most.

[Guest]

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I'm not sure I agree that opening up and expressing vulnerability is really suited for A3 / qualification / transition to comfort. I would say it should come after the transition. After you "discover" that she's cool and "realize" that you're attracted to her, then opening up can be a sort of reward.
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A3/C1 can blend together. It is dependent on the context and the situation. I agree that opening up and realizing that you are attracted to her is a reward.
My point was that the bait-hook-reel-release part at the end part isn't a a backturn for punishment. It has a different emotional feel.
When someone passes the compliance test, you don't punish them for doing that.

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I would say opening up and showing vulnerability can come during any part, and you can throw elements of grounding into any phase of game, but during comfort is when you really want to push it the most.
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Yeah. Sometimes guys come into the community with an axe to grind and this hurts their comfort and rapport game.
This happened to me so I'm trying to be more genuine and honest with that phase.
But yeah, I've seen Mystery go into his grounding sequence or parts of it earlier on. CJ used to do Heart Melters in A2. So yeah, you can start this early.
Mystery's "You hijacked my brain" is similar to this as well.

[Guest]

Yeah, we're on the same page here. I definitely agree that the release part of bait-hook-reel-release isn't a punishment, and it's nothing at all like a neg. I would say it doesn't have to be vulnerability, but I will grant that it can be.