BAAH! :)

[Guest]

Why is it that on our worst nights, the nights that we throw up our hands and even kick ourselves for, we sometimes make the biggest leaps in our game?? I had a bad night, objectively speaking. I didn't accomplish any more than I would have months ago, and this wasn't the world's toughest venue. Something was off. Some intangible, and I couldn't get a grip on it all night. I wasn't "feeling it," whatever "it" is.

I wasn't doing anything I knew in the back of my head I should be doing. I was getting AA, which I hardly do anymore. I was blanking out mid-set. All in all, I sucked pretty badly. I should be down and kicking myself for it.

Wait, OK things aren't as bad as they seem, guys, you don't have to quit reading just yet. come on back. breaking down the night - surprisingly I'm happy as ever. Cool? I'm actually pumped up to go out again ASAP.

[u]But why?[/u]

Because it occurs to me: I got the best possible pickup advice in the world I have ever heard tonight, and I want to share it. I give complete and full credit to a drunken and rambling Bull Run, who spat this out tonight (and probably won't remember that he did) but it is SO FUCKING TRUE it's gonna change the way I sarge. I'll just recant our conversation as best I can.

In the midst of tonight's admittedly mediocre Black Finn action, Bull Run and I are talking. I bomb an opener extremely badly, like "Peter from 3 months ago" badly. Something is really off. Something intangible. I don't have "it," whatever "it" is.

Suddenly, he looks me right in the eye and spells it out, something that I'm sure is at the core of his personal success whether he knows it or not. This is the kind of knowledge you can just tell is honed from loads and loads of experience. So here it is. He looks at me and tells me "[b]Whenever I don't even try to do game, whenever I say 'fuck game,' I do way better." [/b]

At first I was like "bullshit man" and I went on to list the ways that game has helped me go from a clueless bastard to a guy who gets decent success out there. Game has given me confidence I didn't use to have in approaching girls, etc etc. In a nutshell, I think I probably jumped the gun and disagreed with him. But then it dawned on me what he was REALLY saying, and we discussed it.

And this is a point that really goes to the heart of why I personally have good and bad nights these days. I think the same probably holds true for a lot of dudes, which is why I am posting this instead of keeping it to myself.

What he was really saying was Peter, GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD! Don't try to analyze every fucking opener, every fucking move you do. That deserves to be repeated.

GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!

The problem with having pressure on you to game well (which can happen for a number of reasons) is that the vast majority of us fall back on our logical, rational brains to come up with plans of action to overcome whatever is bothering us. New venues, new wings, new types of targets or circumstances, all these things do it for me personally, I realize. (and now that I realize it, I will handle that.)

With most things in life, using your head is a decent strategy. Hell guys, it works for me! I like being a smart guy, it pays the bills. However, with girls IT DOES NOT NOT NOT work! Once again.... "NO." Stop thinking. Stop.

So here it is, "spontaneous" is the word of the day. Learn it, love it. BECOME it. Because every opener must have it or you will fail. You can fake it, I've seen it done. That's what the MM guys mean when they say you need to tell a story like 50 times before you get the "delivery" congruent and right etc etc. But I've seen it done even better when it's real.

Girls are looking for a guy who is not thinking thru his every move. They want someone who goes after what he wants IMMEDIATELY, someone in the moment. fun. not someone who tries to think of something smart to say. Here's the fucking mind-blowing revelation - and man, holy fuck!

There is NO "right" answer. If there is, then the "right" answer is whatever is the CONFIDENT answer, which is whatever you feel/think at that moment. Just fucking BECOME it.

I can now break it down clear as day. Whatever success I have had lately can be at least 1/3 attributed to the fact that I have been going out so damn much I have gotten COMFORTABLE with this shit. Tonight, I fucked up because I was back in my head, trying to be good. Trying to analyze, verbalize, rationalize what I think about game to dudes who have been going out a lot longer than I have. (ps. the other 2/3 is attributed to CALIBRATION and FLEXIBILITY in social situations, and GOOD STATE, but that's another thread.)

Now I know what I need to work on.

Cheers.

-peter grimm

[Guest]

Holy Shit!

I don't even remember saying that...Christ I was drunk. I haven't been THAT drunk in a long time. I'm REALLY good at holding my booze, REALLY good, like scary good. I've picked up chicks before totally hammered, like don't even remember her hammered. So, last night when girls kept telling ME I was drunk I knew I was really fucking drunk.

Anyway, Grimm, you just confirmed it brother!

Really though, this is important guys. And it's something that the more experienced, successful guys learned through trial and error over time. When you are completely and totally indifferent, when you are just being yourself and having a good time, when you aren't being a strategist, this is when you perform the best.

It's amazing, but I think the whole point of the Game is to teach you to finally show the world who you REALLY are. To be OK with you and to show everyone that you are an awesome person.

I think it's amazing but if you are yourself and you present yourself in a matter of fact, I'm not going to apologize to you for who I am sort of way. People at the very least respect you. More often than not, that leads them to want to be around you.

When you're apologetic for who you are, then people reject you. I mean who's going to accept someone that hasn't accepted themselves? NO ONE!!!

Getting to this point can only be done with time and determination. Slowly you learn how to show the world who you truly are without apology.

So, just fuck Game...

You're dick will thank you later.