Online game is changing but I personally believe that it's changing for the better. I think more and more women are flocking to the web and it's becoming more and more socially acceptable. Rhody, the dynamic you're witnessing is most likely very real and legit. But, I think it's a side effect of the ever growing popularity of the web.
The thing is that online game STARTS with, and in many cases, ends with Match.com. That is the primary site that you should be focusing on. OKCupid is legit as well (PS Match just bought them for $50mm and additional future performance payouts). But, Match is far and away the best place to put your face on the world wide web. And, the website is growing, and growing fast. In the 3rd quarter 2011, the service grew subscribers by 12% YOY. Online dating is growing ever more sophisticated by the company's playing in the space because there's lots and lots of money to be maid (InterActiveCorp, the parent company that owns Match makes about $130mm a quarter in revenue from online dating and it's growing at a robust clip). This is driving a lot of study in the space as you can see from OkCupid's interesting blogs and Match's just released online behavioral study (it's only the second one they've actually performed):
http://blog.match.com/singles-in-america/Some estimates put the number of singles in America at or around 100mm people. It’s the most common relationship status on Facebook, especially amongst the younger kiddos. And, people are always looking for an easier, more convenient solution to their issues. The Internet fulfills that promise and people are flocking here. The most common fear that people have with online dating is whether or not the person they decide to meet in person will look like their pictures. But, that’s really not a huge, huge deal all the time. One of the gems in the study that Match put out is that about 33% of men admit to falling for a woman that they weren’t initially attracted to, while 43% of women admitted to the same thing. So, even in the online world, you have the chance to talk your face away. But, I digress.
Has online game changed? Are women seemingly more picking and entitled? For those of you that know me, you are aware that I think far too many women are rocking a sense of entitlement. That is a trend that we, as individuals, cannot stop. It’s here to stay. But, that doesn’t mean that all women are like that. More than that, you, as a man, simply have to be stronger than the ‘normal’ man. There really isn’t any option.
Rhody, what you’re witnessing is actually something that supports my theme about Internet dating. It’s a real force. It’s a respected and valid place for people to meet each other. It’s socially accepted. And, because of this you’re simply going to have more and more of these overly entitled women joining the service.
It’s no different than a bar. Women in bars are crazy fickle. Women, in general, are crazy fickle. They have these bullshit lists in their head about what a man needs to have or not have. In real life, you have a better opportunity to simply bulldoze your way through her lists with your game, charm, humor, etc. Online, you don’t always get that opportunity. In fact, you may never even show up in her searches.
There are things you can do to combat this but in the end, online game is still very much a mystery to people. I haven’t really seen any good material on how to run it and run it effectively and consistently. But, there are some nuggets of factual information that can help you build the best profile you possibly can. Consider this, 29% of people are attracted to others with a similar education. 33% of people are attracted to people with a successful career. Men are becoming increasingly romantic and sensitive, more men say that they’ve been in love and believe in love at first sight than women. Men are 1/3rd more likely to appreciate and accept PDA. Men are more likely to make a commitment either without being in love or without feeling sexually attracted to a partner. Men want to move in with a woman faster. Men are more concerned with their weight than their height. Yeah, sounds like a lot of men are becoming straight up women. Gross.
Contrast that information with what people are attracted to:
• 73% of people want someone physically attractive
• 83% of people want someone with a sense of humor
• 74% of people want someone confident and secure
So, when you’re online, you need to incorporate and project the three bits of information above in your profile and emails. Notice the MOST important trait: sense of humor. USE IT and use it liberally. Most men write shit that they THINK women want to hear. So, they focus on what they do and have done instead of who they are and what kind of life they lead. Education, job, residence (owned or rented), material items (unless it’s a motorcycle, musical instrument, or something else cool), and boring, normal hobbies (i.e. watching sports) need to be cast aside and downplayed in your profile. But, funny and interesting things in your profile need to be embraced and accentuated. Try to use a list of traits, funny one liners mixed in with factual information about yourself.
Example, I’m Dutch so in the ethnicity box I put the following:
I'm Dutch, we're a proud people who have brought the world great discoveries such as CD's, bacteria, The rings of Saturn, the telescope, and Australia...you're welcome.
I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of that line and have a lot of other very similar ones in my profile.
Fact is that we need to have a presentation where we go over online game because there’s so much more to it. There’s more to online game than there is to in real life game. It’s easier and more convenient but there are way more steps, pitfalls, and since it’s easier to generate leads it’s also easier to simply lose them.
Further, understand that online game truly is feast or famine. You’re going to have weeks where you’re able to generate a ton of leads. I’ve had weeks where I would find myself with a lot of phone numbers and casual dates set up for the future. I’ve had days where I would get 3-4 emails/winks/interests a day. And other days where I literally had zero profile views. The thing I’ve noticed is that the websites are generally pretty friendly to active users. If you’re online emailing, viewing, and updating your profile then you tend to be moved to the top of searches and are presented to women by the service. More active I am in a day, the more activity that my profile draws.
Online game has different players now in that they have the more hypergamous, status jockeying women that have zero intention of actually meeting a guy at a bar but still wants to be fucked proper by some man of value and worth. Problem is that most men online sound like complete pussies. Don’t do that. Furthermore, take what a girl says she wants with a grain of salt. It’s very likely that what she says is nothing more than what she thinks she should say, not what she really wants. Call it a shit test before you even leave the house.
Tribulous is right when he says you have to work online quite a bit. When I’m working it, I spend a lot of time grinding through profiles and crafting emails and what not. It goes in phases for me. Sometimes, I just can’t read any more of that mindless dribble that women post up on their profiles. I swear some of the shit I’ve read makes me lose all hope in the female species. Then again, you meet cool women from time to time that give you a little bit of hope and faith…that one’s for you kiddo (inside joke)
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
The difference is indifference.