text conversation with girl
Posted:
Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:58 pm
by spoonybard
Me: Hey there what are you doing this weekend?
Her: Who's this?
Me: _____ - we met the other night
Her: Oh yeah i didn't save your number. Nothing i'm in wichita falls
Me: Thats right how is it up there?
Her: Boring
thoughts. the fact she didnt save my number and the one word reply are bad signs, right?
I didn't really have anything to follow up with so I let the conversation drop at this point, it's not bad etiquette to stop a text convo without an official "goodbye" right?
Re: text conversation with girl
Posted:
Sun Jul 25, 2010 3:12 pm
by Justice
I was about to post on this exact topic, because I know it happens all the time. I had this exact same experience, the difference is that I ended up setting up a time for us to hang out. What was the difference: Let's break it down.
Spoony: Hey there what are you doing this weekend?
HB: Who's this?
Spoony: _____ - we met the other night
HB: Oh yeah i didn't save your number. Nothing i'm in wichita falls
Spoony: Thats right how is it up there?
HB: Boring
The first problem is that she asked you who's this? It is either a s#*t test or you simply didn't build enough attraction or comfort for her to want to save your #. We all get this so no big deal, you just have to know how to recover.
The first mistake is that you answered her question and made it ok for her to forget your # thus DLHing yourself. If you were a famous musician and gave her your #, I guarantee she would not forget it.
Second, the first thing you did was ask her a question where she could dictate or lead the frame of the conversation. If she didn't want to give you an interesting answer, you were stuck. She said boring. Thread closed. It is your job to say something or give something of value. So check this out, I did this amazing thing today...so I had a random experience...I'm having a party you should bring your friends...You could have still recovered at this point.
Now let's look at my example:
Me: I called her up and left a message. Hey its Justice, call me back. Here's my #.
(Short and sweet)
HB: Who's this?
Me: Ha ha, you're adorable! You lose track of which guys you give your # to or just the cute ones?
(I give value, IOI, but then I give her and IOD while DHVing myself and showing confidence.
HB: Thanks lol buy ya I forget what do you do and where do you live again?
(I made her laugh, that's good, but she tries to sabotage herself by trying to set a new frame by asking me questions)
Me: You ask such boring questions! I am a male go go dancer and I live in a van by the lake. This is so not going to work out! Too bad, I really liked your sense of fashion too!
(IOD followed by taking the frame back followed by a disqualifier and then an IOI.)
HB: Oh ya I remember you. Lol, my bad.
(She is jumping though my hoops and apologizing, raising my value)
Me: (Stack forward)
I'll go further if needed but basically she remembered me and then I rewarded her and continued to talk for a bit until I set up a time for us to hang out. You can see the difference in tonality of the two conversations within the first few interactions. The difference is that I control the conversation, am playful, not needy, use concurrent IOIs and IODs, push-pull and challenge the girl to figure out who I am.