Text conversation

[Bull Run]

B R, I don't think you're giving text game enough credit.

Ahh, but I am giving text game plenty of credit. My point is this: text game is simply something that should accentuate the initial meeting. I view it as a time bridge that keeps me fresh in her mind from the first meeting to the next meeting. You can build comfort and rapport via text but my point is that this is something you should have accomplished when you first met the girl. Texting should be more of maintaining that connection than creating one.

Think of it like a gallon of milk. No matter how great it was or how good it tastes, it's going to spoil at some point. Meeting a girl is the exact same thing. Text conversation is like the fridge that keeps it fresh longer, but it's still spoiling, even in the fridge. This is why it's important to crack that fridge back open ASAP so you can drink it before it goes bad completely. I just don't see texting as a value-add endeavor (unless you pulled her from the World Wide Web). If you met her in person and she's cool and she's interested then fucking around with texting too much is just going to hurt you.

Maybe I've just grown to become incredibly selective but I'm not going to ask for or take a girl's number unless they've shown themselves to me to be someone that I think is cool, fun, and worth my time and effort. Just because she's hot and shows some level of interest in me is not enough reason to take down her number. Oddly enough, this mentality probably sparks more interest and flips more attraction switches in women than one in which I take a number just for the hell of it.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone out with guys and they leave a venue with a pocket full of numbers and I score 1 or 2. But, the next day, the other guy's numbers all end up flaking in one way or another while mine are legit because I took the time to build comfort with them at the initial meeting. Approaches should be a numbers game, number closes should not.

My guess is that it's not an issue with the text conversation he had, it's probably with the fact that he didn't build enough comfort with her in the bar. As evidence for this, I'm going to point to the fact that she wanted him to send her his picture because she didn't remember who the hell he is. She KNEW she met someone she may have been interested in but wasn't sure he if was the guy she liked or not. I'm sure she gave her number out to a few other guys that night.

The part where he says " did you get my pic or do I need to send again" , seems to be a little too friendly and unnecessarily long for a text message. Girls respond better to short messages to get to the point. One issue is that 3 days have went by since you texted her but she had an "!" in her last message which shows she went to some extra effort in the text. Also some of it has to do with where each person is on social value.

Agreed, the part where he asks if she got his picture was too needy. But, this is only going to hurt him if she's only got luke warm interest. Again, she asked for the pic because she wasn't sure who he was. That's a bad place to be in. She should ALWAYS remember who you are without prompt. If she doesn't you didn't leave enough of an impression on her.

Girls definitely respond better to shorter messages. But, the more you chat via text the longer you're going to have make your responses. Short messages are only cute for a short while. Eventually you have to offer up something...this is why I try to get them out ASAP. I don't have time to send long ass texts or even text that much....I've got shit to do man.

The "!" means nothing. Girls do that shit all the time. The fact that she replied doesn't really mean all that much either. Grrls love to text, they'll text with you until the cows come home. This is why you need to make a demand of her, i.e. let's grab a drink. Otherwise, you'll be sporadically texting back and forth about meaningless shit and all you'll be doing is slowly drying up her pussy.

b/c a certain element of women are attracted to guys who are sometimes nice and sometimes sort of mean but can flip a switch and be nice again

This describes every single woman on the planet. The problem is that being nice or mean lacks context via text. This is why I don't think text is a sufficient medium for comfort, rapport, and seduction. All of that needs to be handled in the field. Now, you can create these things on the phone but women never answer their phone. That's just not cool you know?

As for the "not as hot as I remember line," well I would contend that it worked because she already liked you. It was simply an extension of the personality she already enjoyed. Angling to get her out again will be just as effective, if not more so, because she's interested and virtually all women appreciate and love a man that takes the reigns and leads. I'm not sure why you would want to delay the next 'date' by being cute via text. Of course, you can set up the next date and then be cute and charming and witty and funny the way you're implying and that's perfectly fine...actually, that's the way it should be done.

[ninjamatt]

Bull Run, it's obvious you've learned a lot of good stuff. A lot of nights or weekends my approach is similar to yours and you come from a good train of thought. It depends on the night, the amount of girls out, my mood etc.

Forget all message board theories for a minute. December 13 through Christmas weekend I'm gonna go hang out with my sister in Dallas. I'm from Little Rock. If you will meet me, I am gonna give you a chance to make $500. Me and you will meet up and use those 10 or so days to go sarging in Dallas. The goal will be to get numbers, meet girls, practice our game , whatever. But, the results will be photos.

We will wing together and point out hot girls we are both interested in and we both agree are bedable. . Happy hour til 5 am or whatever hours you want, whatever nights you want, just a place where you haven't staged some crap. We will have a race over those 10 or so days, to see who can take the most pics of our faces beside a woman's bare butt away from the club and post them here. If you win I will give you $500. If I win, you only owe me $200.

Or, if you don't wanna take the challenge I understand and we can just go sarge.

[Tribulus1000]

This needs a separate post not part of the Text Convo post.

Edit: You guys need to be contamination-free. No girls in your phones. No hookers.
Meet in a part of town where its not your territory like Fort Worth or Austin.
Have an impartial judge like Austin Society.

just my 2 cents.

[ninjamatt]

I didn't realize bullrun was doing seminars. Not trying to step on toes or derail your post. Sorry.

Offer still stands though.

Back to the text question. The phrase "you are cute but not quite as hot as I remember". If you are getting one number every 2 weeks or whatever, or the interaction at the club went fairly well and there were smiles from her and maybe her leaning toward you, pointing her body toward you, touching you especially with her hands, don't do it.

My point is, some hot women respond well to assholes b/c most guys are overly nice to them and it gets boring.

[Rawwwrr!]

The part where he says " did you get my pic or do I need to send again" , seems to be a little too friendly and unnecessarily long for a text message. Girls respond better to short messages to get to the point. One issue is that 3 days have went by since you texted her but she had an "!" in her last message which shows she went to some extra effort in the text. Also some of it has to do with where each person is on social value.

Agreed, the part where he asks if she got his picture was too needy. But, this is only going to hurt him if she's only got luke warm interest. Again, she asked for the pic because she wasn't sure who he was. That's a bad place to be in. She should ALWAYS remember who you are without prompt. If she doesn't you didn't leave enough of an impression on her.

Girls definitely respond better to shorter messages. But, the more you chat via text the longer you're going to have make your responses. Short messages are only cute for a short while. Eventually you have to offer up something...this is why I try to get them out ASAP. I don't have time to send long ass texts or even text that much....I've got shit to do man.

The "!" means nothing. Girls do that shit all the time. The fact that she replied doesn't really mean all that much either. Grrls love to text, they'll text with you until the cows come home. This is why you need to make a demand of her, i.e. let's grab a drink. Otherwise, you'll be sporadically texting back and forth about meaningless shit and all you'll be doing is slowly drying up her pussy.

I never thought asking if she received the picture would come off as needy. I asked that because she said she didn't receive the previous one and I was seeing if it did end up coming through (sometimes picture messages can take awhile to send.) Thanks for that insight, I will handle it differently next time.

I think the problem with her not remembering me came from a combination of my leaving early on (I only talked with her for maybe 10 min) and her being drunk. I wouldn't be surprised if she did give her number out many times that night.

[Rawwwrr!]

Back to the text question. The phrase "you are cute but not quite as hot as I remember". If you are getting one number every 2 weeks or whatever, or the interaction at the club went fairly well and there were smiles from her and maybe her leaning toward you, pointing her body toward you, touching you especially with her hands, don't do it.

My point is, some hot women respond well to assholes b/c most guys are overly nice to them and it gets boring.

If you get one number every two weeks, or 4 numbers a night, shouldn't you treat them all the same? Even if you get a number once every two months, you still have to act indifferent, confident, and not put her on a pedestal. You should always act as if you have many other numbers. Correct?

[ninjamatt]

i wouldn't consider it a serious mistake, but if she didn't get it she can bring it up. Texting works real well in the initial stages when the messages are short b/c a lot of these assholes are all excited and writing paragraphs to them. If she seems fairly smart try to use more uncommon words. an example might be " did you enjoy your night?" instead of "did you have fun last night?"

No I don't treat all phone numbers the same. It's based on the face to face interaction and the quality of woman I'm dealing with from my perspective. Some educated slender 9 in her mid 20's with no kids and fake tits and tan is going to have a different mentality than the same girl who works in customer service, has 2 kids from her high school sweetheart and don't have time, money, or priority for tits and tanning. But it could still be good pussy, or good pivot material, good friend material, good material for when you have nothing else going on, good text or dating practice, whatever. I've had a lot of success negging women about their appearance in texts and in person then building them back up again when/if necessary. Hell, I had one text me 5 seconds after I said something similar, saying that was very rude and she was crying, so I call her immediately and she is, and I started fake crying with her saying I was sorry and we talk like 30 minutes. We did like 200 texts over the next 5 days, and a week after we met we we're fucking. One of the things she said was that she felt comfortable around me b/c I was the first guy whoever showed disinterest in her. I also had told her early I wasn't looking for a woman with a kid.

The main thing to remember is don't point out a flaw like chunky thighs, acne scars, small tits that shes probably already self conscious about. if she's a 9 , just diplomatically make her an 8. As you are reeling her in, there may be a good time to bump her up to a 10. Think of it with the attitude I would think of Jennifer Anniston. She's hot and I can see people thinking shes hot, just not the kind of hot I wanna go to bed with. Establish a friends first mentality. Women like sleeping with men who come across like they don't care about their looks or sex. This is no matter if it's a text or start up conversation. But if the situation doesn't arise to use it logically, don't. One approach I use sometimes is to get their opinion on if I should button the cuffs on my shirt if I roll them up. A lot of times I can smile and put something in the conversation like "I saw it both ways while ago, didn't know what was best for here, but always value a "semi-hot" girls opinion". The term "semi-hot" is usually going to get their attention and spark more conversation especially if she thinks shes more. If you aren't dealing with attractive women, don't do it.

Keep in mind a certain element out of a sample of 100 are going to take that type as an insult and just say fuck him, ignore, block , whatever. But a lot of them are going to do the same anyway if you just go average joe B/c a lot of girls who look good can't get out the car and pump gas without getting hit on. You were a little too much average joe in the texts until the Mcdonalds part. So play it more safe if you are getting only one number per month, or if a certain number is one you think you really like and don't wanna be risky. If you get 5 numbers in a weekend, nothing really stands out as wife or gf material, and you just wanna fuck 1 but don't really care, then figure out a way to neg all them on their appearance if it's logical, but build them back up if you have too, and it will probably work within 2 weeks if you know what you're doing. If you aren't comfortable with it don't. With me and the women I pursue it's all about appearance and how hot I can get. For some people they can neg about a different priority and sometimes neg is not even necessary. I am just speaking from my perspective. It seemed like you could have kept that text conversation alive and met that girl somewhere else.

[Bull Run]

Good stuff ninja in your previous post.

Not sure I totally agree with the concept of changing your texts to be more or less risky. You certainly do need to figure out what kind of structure works for you, how aggressive you need to be, how responsive, the tone of your texting, etc. All of that needs to be worked out so that the text Game you develop is one that you feel comfortable with (congruence) AND one that is effective for you and the girls you typically target. That takes a lot of time and effort and practice but, once you've nailed something down that works then I say one should never deviate from it as long as it is continuing to be successful.

There's a lot to texting that one has to account for: pings, openers, thread cutting, time mirroring, length mirroring, time bridge, how/when to use emoticons, sending random texts about random thoughts, stacking texts, the kinds of words you use, punctuation/grammar/spelling etc. You have to learn to play with all of those things and it takes a lot of time but once you have a system down, it should be automatic and something that you stick to as long as it's still working.

In this case, I don't think his text game was too aggressive or not aggressive enough. I just think it was probably a weak number close, even a guy with super tight text game is going to have a hell of a hard time getting a girl out to meet you/hang out again if you only chatted with her for a few minutes while she was drunk in a loud bar. It can be done, but fuck if it's not a tall order. When she asked for a pic, I would have negged her right then and there. Something like: "Did you forget how hot I am already? Or are you planning on looking at it while you do dirty things?" It may have gotten you blown out, but it also turns the table on her and implies that she's either a flake or a perv or both. After that, the McDonald's line or the 'not as hot as I remember' line would both be effective. Establishing that playful tone right away was crucial here because it didn't get established enough in person. Which just brings me back to my initial point that setting the tone in person is way more effective than failing to do so and then attempting to do so via text. That's an uphill battle man.

[ninjamatt]

Hell yea Bull run. These posts I've read tell about 20 percent of the real life story. My honest thought is, if you are posting a text conversation online and looking for advice, you need to get about 50 more numbers to text and learn from experience. Mix in a call too, if the texts are going good.

[Rawwwrr!]

Hell yea Bull run. These posts I've read tell about 20 percent of the real life story. My honest thought is, if you are posting a text conversation online and looking for advice, you need to get about 50 more numbers to text and learn from experience. Mix in a call too, if the texts are going good.

Isn't that what this site is for? To ask what others think of these situations? If no one asked questions or posted anything, this forum would have no activity on it.