FR: Online gaming

[Alger]

Hi

I am using match.com. If a person you are not interested in sends you a wink or email you can click on a button to let them know "not interested, but thank you." When I winked and emailed a girl and received a "not interested, but thank you" I sent an email to her saying


ME: I thought by your profile that you might of been unique by your profile and possibly a nice person as well as pretty. not like the type you meet at bars. To respond by saying you are not interested was mean. You should of just not responded to my email.

her response: I'm sorry u thought my response was rude. Honestly, I have so much going on right now in my life outside of match.com that I just don't have the time to write an email back to everyone who sends me one. No, that's not stuckup or rude of me. You have to understand that people have hectic, busy lives. I don't have the leisure of sitting down and returning every email. I'm sorry that offended you, and I shouldn't even b trying to justify this to you. But for future reference, that's why. Good luck n your search.


Since then we have been communicating back and forth and we are still talking. I definitely believe in trying to make a girl feel self-concious, and make her micro-manage herself. To make a girl feel like she has to justify herself to me, prove herself, etc. usually fits me well and gets me results. I am a newbie and feel that sticking to this theory strongly fits my avatar. Also, following the philosophy about girl having an emotional response that is negative is better than a girl not feeling anything around you. Any opinions or feedback?

[HydroPua]

Hello Alger:

Well I was reading your post and your seem to be learning good about women and how they feel.

In my opinion "Cyber Game" is lame!!(I did not mean to be rude). I think you should go out and try to meet women on the bars or nightclubs. However if you think that those women are not "your type" you can also meet girls during the day! (Could be at your place of work, school, at the library, coffee shop etc.).
I think that Day game is the best option for you right now, maybe at first you may think that is hard but no. Getting a #close on daygame is easier that night game because girls are not expected to get hit on. and they are more friendly during the day ....

What you say about that girl from match.com is true, make her feel something is better than not making her feel anything at all.. but does that makes you happy?

[Alger]

Hydro, please don't say on an open forum what I am doing is lame. I know many people who come on here personally. Cybergame is not how I spend most of my time practicing. I do it only during after hours when places are closed.

[Alger]

Hydro

Did not mean to be harsh. I do appreciate your compliment about me learning and understanding women's feelings.

[HydroPua]

no worries mate!!! keep it good

[Scoundrel]

IMHO Online game is much harder than real life. But, I do it. I see it as another hook in the water. I have a job with a huge amount of downtime where I am doing nothing. So, I surf the free dating sites.

[RockStar]

IMHO online dating is like fishing with dynamite...easy as shit. Still do it though, and there ain't nothing lame about getting laid. I've had 2 SNL's in the last month from online game.

Rockstar

[Alger]

I still agree with Scoundrel and Hydro that it is better to spend time and focus on gaming in the real world. However, you are right where I do know people besides you who have had SNL with hotties they met on myspace and facebook. I have also had some good experience with it to. But it seems like their needs to be IMing involved, rather than from email to phone.

[Rhody]

I have been lurking, but this is a topic that I would like to comment on. I hope I can help.

First of all, online game is not lame. Calling other guys in the community lame is a major DLV. Anyway, I am a single father with primary custody of my son. I basically have every other weekend to go out, and even that isn't very convenient sometimes. Many women find themselves in similar situations, and that is why you can find so many attractive, high-quality women on dating sites. Online game is a way to set up those day2s without actually having to go to the bars every night. It certainly has worked well for me in the past, and once I get a girl out I can work on comfort, escalation, etc.

Secondly, sending a wink does not communicate confidence and boldness. Also, does getting a girl to feel self-conscious and getting her to justify herself really work for you? If it's done in a playful way, like most of the qualifying gambits, then I can see that, but your example did not seem playful. To be honest, it seemed like you were hurt and wanted her to feel guilty. One woman, one vote. Let it go.

I disagree with the statement that getting a girl to feel something is better than getting her to feel nothing. Sure, getting her to feel something GOOD is better than getting her to feel nothing, but getting her to feel creeped out, ashamed, or scared is not better. You said:

I thought by your profile that you might of been unique by your profile and possibly a nice person as well as pretty. not like the type you meet at bars. To respond by saying you are not interested was mean. You should of just not responded to my email.

Here is what I would have said:

I thought by your profile that you might be a unique and fun person, not like the type I meet in bars. I appreciate you being direct and not wasting my time with the silly games women tend to play. Although, now I wonder if you're the type of woman who is bold enough to act when presented with an intreresting opportunity to make a connection. But I guess the adventure ends here. Good luck with your search.

Notice that you said "not like the type you meet in bars" and I said "not like the type I meet in bars." This is a prime example of why online game can be harder. You have to pay careful attention to the language you use, because these subtle missteps go right into her subconscious. And once they go out into the Internet, you can't take them back. Also notice that I established a standard she'll want to live up to (unique and fun) rather than telling her that she's pretty and mean. And most importantly, I issued a challenge (is she bold?) and a call to action (make a connection).

It is funny how a girl will give you her number like it's nothing when you meet her in a bar, but the same girl will wait a week or two when you meet her online. I tend not to IM too much. If a girl seems like she wants to have a cyber boyfriend, then I just drop her. The vacuum tends to get her into a chasing mode and she will then give me her number.

[RockStar]

Hey Rhody thanks for adding to the conversation. great post.

It is funny how a girl will give you her number like it's nothing when you meet her in a bar, but the same girl will wait a week or two when you meet her online. I tend not to IM too much. If a girl seems like she wants to have a cyber boyfriend, then I just drop her. The vacuum tends to get her into a chasing mode and she will then give me her number.

Yeah I have a tendency to go for the phone on my second email. Doesn't always work but will screen out the ones who it's not 'on' with. I mean she's already decided by the time she reads your profile whether she would go out on a date or not. all continual messaging will do is fuck that up.


Rockstar