The Exec's Daughter

[MagicBalls]

The building where I work is full of traffic, and you don't always know if someone is a customer, an employee, or a realitve of an employee. Pretty girls everywhere, all the time, always in a hurry, and after a while you become jaded of the hustle and bustle.

So yesterday I'm walking out of my office yesterday and going down the hall to the restroom. It was after 5, when the building is mostly empty. There had been an old leather office chair outside the hall for some time, as if someone was about to get rid of it or perhaps just making temporary space. As I was headed to take care of business, I see a beautiful blonde in her early 20's sitting on the chair. I didn't pay much mind, but I noticed that when I glanced over she looked my way and smiled. She was perhaps 10 meters away. So I go inside the bathroom, and start thinking of something to say. I come out after about a minute, and start heading kinda in her direction. I see this big tall black guy suddenly come out of the elevator and get in the line of site between me and this girl. So this girl is looking my way and smiling, and when the tall black guy comes out he gets in the line of site and assumes that she's smiling at him. You could see his eyes pop out as he scoped her out, and he seemed to start heading in her direction. I thought for sure this would be a cockblock.

But while the cockblocker had a talent for ogling, he didn't have a clue about pickup. So he heads towards her for a few seconds and then takes a hard left and keeps going. The target is now back in my line of site, and she smiles again. I curve somewhat as I turn into the other hallway, and with my head over my shoulder, I look back and say, "Did they move your office?" She immediately starts cracking up. She says, "No, I'm here waiting for someone!" I keep walking and looking over my shoulder. Then I say, "'cause if they had, that would be cruel!" She laughs so more. I keep walking.

I go inside my office, sit down, and stare at the cell phone on my desk for a few seconds. Without giving it much thought, I grab it and head back towards the hall. I'm in the vicinity and in the line of site of the target. While I'm punching in digits and waiting for the ring, I see a beautiful burnette in a long dress and heels pass by. She looks, smiles, and almost slips and falls. I say, "there goes Miss USA." The she looks over and I say, in a somewhat sarcastic tone, "I didn't see that!" She mumbles something, and the target is amused that I just intimidated a beautiful girl. So we strike up a conversation, and right in the middle of when she's talking, I start talking on the cell phone real loud. When I'm done with the call, I hang up, and, taking a few steps away from her and looking over my should, ask "so what were you saying?" She asks me about the parking garage. Then she tells me she's one of the Exec's daughter (obviously a DHV) and that she's here waiting for him. I'm sure anytime she's told that to others in that building, and they give her the red carpet treatment. I was not phased, though, and when she asked me what I did, I gave her a smart ass response that I can't repeat here because it would give my workplace away.

Her face froze, and I told her the real answer, and she tried to play it off, "I figured you were blah blah blah". I was jerking on her emotions, pushing buttons just for my own amusement just to see what would happen. So I finally turn around and put my hand out and introduce myself, at which point she responds favorably, and we chat some more. Right around that time she gets a call from her dad, and of course I'm not going to stand around and wait, so I walk away and wave "see ya" before I get her number.

I'm telling you, I didn't have a routine or anything, but what I've learned I've internalized and it comes out in different ways. This is a big, big change for me from even 8 months ago, around the time I first signed up for this group, when I still had alot of approach anxiety. From the two experience I had yesterday, I can see that there some major improvements I have made in the past 8 months towards getting over my inhibitions.

First of all, I see this more as a game, a play, a con even, than ever before. This takes away the focus from me and my insecurities. My coworker is a natural player and we have traded notes on many things, and I've observed him, and this has helped as well. Also, in my library of past experiences, I've seen some antisocial, psychopathic, edgy, rock-star type personalities get the best pussy (think Jim Morrisson). Pussy is attracted to fire, so I shed my chill guy persona and put on a more energetic, flashy salesman/con artist type of personality. It's my improv training at work. I remember Simon getting after a contestant saying, "I know you're trying to play it cool, but actually you're coming off as dull." That stuck with me. I also remember Brad P. saying that we often do things to look cool or masculine, and that it often works against us. I've seen this in action, as a gay guy approached a set of two females at a bar and they sat up in the edge of their seat at full attention as he told his gay stories. Now with my Italian background, at 6'2"/255 lbs, I'm not going to start acting like Richard Simmons. But I've realized the importance of coming in with energy and with the purpose of entertaining as opposed to waiting for love dust to fall from the sky.

IN addition, I've been working out regularly and eating well, which not only has allowed me to lose 60 pounds, but has also raised my energy level significantly. I've been meditating, and I'm much better able to stay in the moment and truly engage others with interest than before. Before, if things didn't go my way, I retreated into my ADD shell, a response which was self-defeating and circular. Insight meditation is all about learning to be in the present moment.

This last thing is the most important of all for me. In a post many months ago on the other Dallas group, I disclosed that even when a girl expressed interest in me, I was trying to put too much logic in the process, thinking about whether this person would make a good girflriend or not, and using it as an excuse not to pursue further. If I established an emotional connection, I would immediatly put her under the scrutiny of the long term, and found it immoral to use someone I had developed an emotional connection with for sex. If I didn't develop an emotional connection, well, nothing would happen of course. It had NEVER occured to me that it's important to establish an emotional connection even for a one night stand. It had NEVER occured to me that this would be ok with most girls, had the night been wortwhile. I thought it would be like using them, but in fact people bump in the night and form emotional and physical bonds for short periods all the time. They are the untold stories. They are the "Strawberry Wines". The "9 1/2 Weeks". Yes, If I form a connection with her, fuck her, and never see her again, SHE WILL BE OK. She'll live on, and perhaps even have fond memories of that time. She's an adult, she knows the risk, and in the end, that may have been all she wanted. But of course social norms would have kept her from expressing that, so perhaps it was easier to justify after the emotional bond was made. So now, if I see a decent, I don't rationalize it. I get into game mode all the time. I can always decide if I don't want her when she's naked in my bedroom and I've put on my condom. (What do you think I'll decide then?) I used to reserve my party mode for the night of blowing money and time at the clubs. Now I practice conversation all the time, whoever I come across with, wherever I may be.

So I guess my biggest improvements have been in the inner game department, and even without learning routines and so forth, I feel like I have come a long way. Thanks, everyone for your support and knowledge.

[MagicBalls]

First time I listened to the lyrics was a few months back at a Karaoke. This gorgeous girl, the hottest in the club far and above, sang it with great talent and emotion. This is the moment that I truly realized that women make and even fantasize about emotional connections and experiences from relationships that may be short. Even though the song is about the author's first sexual experience, it is purely from an emotional perspective. When the song was over, it was my turn to go up, and I kinoed the singer firmly and spoke in her ear for a minute while the whole club was watching. After my song was done, I went and got her number. There was a guy standing next to her, and I didn't bother to ask what the relationship was, just shook his hand. Anyway, here are the lyrics.

Strawberry Wine
by Deana Carter

He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for for knowledge and he had a car
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
Funny how those memories they last

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste

Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen a plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine