1/2 AAR

[Neuromancer]

Pretty good night. Vec left with a cute girl and so did I.

[Vector]

Awesome, I'm glad that worked out. I had a hard time telling how into you she was (maybe because I left the two of you alone so much).

Mine turned into SNL which is cool because I'm not very good at day2s. I think she's got a little bit of buyer's remorse because I didn't qualify enough. I get the sense she doesn't think I like her for who she is. So I'm going to appreciate her good qualities some more, to move her toward FB.

[omgdallas]

well done gentlemen.

what kind of game did you run?

[Neuromancer]

I did straight up cocky funny with no patterns or canned. I threw in the occasional neg for good measure. I mostly shot from the hip. I told her I knew her well enough that I don't have to be polite. I like polite, It's a good power word.

[Vector]

I'll let Deuce describe his set. Mine I started by talking to the guys (mixed set of sorta indeterminate size, hard to tell who was friends). I opened with something not very well rehearsed, basically "I just broke up with my gf, how long do I have to wait before dating her friend." And after they answer, I give more details, blah blah.. and after a bit I shake hands all around (the first time I acknowledge that the girls exist) how do you know each other. For some reason I didn't think I needed to neg, so I didn't. In general I don't neg much and it usually turns out just fine. I just blabbed a lot, talked to everyone. Every now and then I'll be interested in something besides the target that causes me to turn my back to her. So she won't feel like she's being gamed, that's my theory.

I think this is the first time I really told a good grounding story in comfort. I think it made a big difference, I'm definitely going to have to do that a lot more. Last week a HB told me "but I barely know you" when I tried to bounce. On the dance floor this same girl had been grinding on me hard for a while, really getting into it. This taught me I needed better grounding material.

[V]

Last week a HB told me "but I barely know you" when I tried to bounce. On the dance floor this same girl had been grinding on me hard for a while, really getting into it. This taught me I needed better grounding material.

What kind of game did you run on that girl from last week?

[Neuromancer]

same kind of game, he's just getting better at it.

[boyracer]

Vector,

What do you mean by "a good grounding story"? I don't want to steal your ideas or anything, just not really sure what you're talking about.

Are you talking about a DHV story? I'm struggling with that part. I know I just need to sit down and reflect on my life, and they'll come to me.... just need to do it!

[Vector]

A grounding story is a story that communicates who you are, and how you came to become who you are now. It will often contain childhood experiences, dreams. It ties in to your identity and communicates it in a positive, powerful way. It's comfort material, and the point is not to DHV, but to get her to know you.

My identity is an inventor. If they ask what I do, which frequently comes up in A2 or A3, I give the short version, which is that "well, I think of myself as an inventor, I have all these projects I want to build, but for a day job I am a programmer." Sometimes I'll talk for one or two minutes about it but not a lot.

If I were an illusionist, I would say I'm an illusionist, or if i were an artist, I would say I'm an artist. Remember that your identity doesn't have to be what you get paid to do. Ambition is very attractive.

My story goes something like this. It's 100% true by the way.

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be an inventor. Like Thomas Edison. But you never really hear about inventors like that anymore. I wasn't really sure if they even existed anymore -- I didn't think they were real. When I was in middle school I really got into airplanes and flying. I wanted to be a pilot. I used to play flight simulator on the computer for hours and hours. One of my dad's friends has a small two-seater and actually took me up a couple times. I flew the plane myself and it was so cool. I logged a few hours of real flight time. But then I got to thinking, if I were going to be a pilot for a career, I would probably be a commercial airline pilot, and it would be so boring! There's no way I could stand it! I was good at math and science, so I figured maybe I could be a mathematician. That was my new plan. My mom suggested maybe I should study computers and programming too, because it's much more employable than just math. Don't ever tell her I said this, but she was right. When I got out of college I went to work for this small startup company in Austin, doing sorta scientific programming and image processing. It was so much fun because the product we were building was really one of a kind. I loved it. And since it was a small company, I could see (and contribute to) all the different things that made the product work. I realized that people do still invent stuff. Every day I actually looked forward to going to work in the morning. Eventually the company ran into trouble and they got bought out. I decided there was no future for me at the new company, so that's when I left and came to Dallas, which was about 3 years ago. At my current job I don't really have a chance to innovate in the way that I want to, so I have all kinds of stuff at home, projects I'm working on. I've got electronics crap sprawled out on my computer desk, and I've also got a milling machine and lathe where I can make little metal parts for whatever I'm working on.


That's the main idea. I skipped some non-essential parts for brevity here. Obviously this takes a while so it's definitely comfort material. You have to have the girl isolated and if it's really loud then it's a real pain to tell the story. It's easy for me to get excited about the parts of the story, like looking forward to going to work, because it's really me. When I bring the girl over to my place, I have stuff that is congruent with my story. I don't have to ask her to excuse the miniature machine shop in my living room. I show it off and show her a few things I've made.

You can try to run grounding material just off the cuff, and it may work just fine. But if I tell a mini biography it tends to be rather dry and factual. What you want is to describe (or show) how these things make you feel, and how they formed the person you are today. I went over my story a few times so I know what I'm trying to communicate, and the story fits it.

[boyracer]

OK, I got it. Thanks for clarifying.

Great story BTW.