FR: Where did I screw up?

[Dead Poet]

I definitely F'ed up tonight, so I need some help figuring out what I did wrong.

I was at Buffalo Wild Wings with some friends. At some point I ended up at the bar. (bartender has become a friend) and was joined by 2 friends (guy and HB taken). We were having fun, talking and whatever when I noticed a 3-set. HB 7-8. I ask my guy friend about going in and he doesn't feel like it, so I stay and just chill. My friends leave, but I stay at the bar hanging with the bartender and one of the waitresses.

The 3-set then gets bartenders attention and tells me to come over. I do. They've been drinking. I am slightly buzzed, but not drunk at this point. I join them in conversation. They ask my name, ask what I do, how old am I, etc. Conversation goes no where and I am totally in their frame. At no point am I controling the set.

I just don't know where I went wrong. I never felt "in control." I would appreciate any feedback.

[Tribulus1000]

They probably noticed that you were noticing them earlier. Since they outnumbered you, they figured they would come over and 'sarge' you. Which it sounds like this is what happened.
So basically they were getting you to qualify yourself. "How old are you?", "What do you do?", "How much do you make annually?" "Do you have a 401K or a 403B?" etc.
The thing to do would be to start acting like a tough chick and re-directing their questions. Basically "Hoop Theory".

"So what do you do?"
"Why do you ask?"

"How old are you?"
"Guess...but if you get it wrong, you have to give me a kiss".

"Where do you live"
"Whoa.....I need trust, comfort and connection before we do ANY of what's on your mind."

Or you can just take the questions to ridiculous levels....

"I bet now you're gonna ask me how to get to my house so you can come over and take advantage of me anytime you want. Well it doesn't work that way. I have feelings. "

"I bet now you're gonna ask how much money I have in the bank so you can use my body and my finances."

You get the idea....

Run a few of these scenarios in your mind. Imagine things turning out for the better.

[Mojo]

They ask my name, ask what I do, how old am I, etc. Conversation goes no where and I am totally in their frame. At no point am I controling the set.

I just don't know where I went wrong. I never felt "in control." I would appreciate any feedback.

I would of brought them into my group first... though when you joined them later, they seem interested in you, asking you the standard hum dum questions. Stay away from that! The usual convo topics are boring! The best thing is to just start talking about anything, a funny story, something about them, etc. Talk as if they are old friends - old friends talk in statements, not questions - and they will get a good feeling about you.

Hope this helps

[Gamble]

I have had a bad habit of asking questions like that myself. I can tell a huge difference in the way I act in sets now though. I find myself asking questions through statements a lot more now like:

"You look like you might be a teacher." or something to that nature...

and I've even thrown in a neg with this by saying something silly and then getting the people in the set to agree with me.

It's a work in progress but I think I'm getting the hang of it.

[Westfall]

I like to play a game I call "What crazy bullshit can WF get this girl to believe"

My name is Rumplestiltskin

Im 69 years old

Im a super-hero...but not the good kind that fights crime, the corupt one that uses his power for evil & mischief.

But thats my personality. It screens out girls that are not playful. Most of the stuff I do early on is just a giant "shit test" for the girl. At this point in my life I dont feel that I need to aquire more girls.

[Scoundrel]

WF I'm impressed. That could be turned some cool roll playing. Every super villain needs a side kick.

[RockStar]

ok i've lurked long enough let me toss in my two cents.
nonsense is wonderful also you can just ignore anything that doesn't serve your goals. you can reframe the question as well.
HB: so what do you do?
PUA: why? what do you do?
then when she jumps through your hoop you answer.

as a side note they were trying to sarge you they where just really bad at it. they started in qualification/comfort and then blamed you when their lame PU attempt didn't work. now you know how it feels to be a hot chick. (smile) now remeber it when your interacting with a chick cause she might wanna sleep with you, you're just not giving her the option to.

thanks for letting me rant.
rockstar

[Gamble]

I really like the idea of throwing out nonsense, because I never tell very much about myself when I go out, so that could come in very handy to get a nice, playful girl...

I've gotten into the habit of just not telling my age, but I got some static from that last night, so I might have to try this out.

[Scoundrel]

I always tell them my real age. Some chicks have a problem dating a guy older than her father. I want to screen them out. If a woman has a problem with your age, it's her problem. So, don't sweat the stuff you can't change. focus on the things you can change and improve.