LR: Randomness

[HurricaneJoe]

So, my friend asked me what happened on my day 2 and this is what I told him: met a hottie, got her phone number, took her out, bad da boom, ba da bing, so ends the story. He was NOT pleased at my lack of details.

It’s funny though, because it reminds me of a description that Lance always talks about. If you ask a guy who is good with chicks what he did to get his girl, he usually gives some stupid and useless answer like I just did. Its annoying as hell because when you’re still at the beginning stages of comprehending this stuff, you want to know every detail because that is truly what makes the difference. I think it has to do with the four stages of learning: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence. I think when you start hitting the final stage it becomes difficult to describe events because you’re not really aware anymore of what you are actually doing. But let me attempt to go back and breakdown some things so it might be useful to a few people.

This week I had a day two on both Monday and Tuesday with really hot girls. They are definitely the next tier of troublemakers. My day 2 on Monday went well in some respects, but poorly in others. Story goes, I had not seen this girl since I number closed her at the beginning of August(damn near two months later)!! Anyone who has done this knows that the longer you wait the more difficult it becomes to actually meet them. If after two weeks I’m not breaking any new ground I usually don’t bother. The problem is that I only number closed, did not day 2 close, and I didn’t get that much rapport with her. This is truly the making of a flake.

A lot of guys have asked about SMS game, so here are some field tested useful tibits of information. I think there different types of flaky behavior, but here’s some ideas for recovering from a weak close (aka, minimum rapport, no day 2 plans set up). You, at the very least, have to have nailed attraction. The problem is that attraction doesn’t last so this process is a progression to generate it again.

Whenever I number close, at the bare minimum, I tell them what day I will give them a call to set up the day two – like Sunday evening or something. You give them a specific day and timeframe that they should be expecting the call from you. If she doesn’t answer or get back to you within two or three days I’ll send a text like, “That cute! You’re playing hard to get! You know, it’s a little early to be doing that” This always gets some kind of response. If she calls, banter banter banter and then set up the day 2 over the phone on the spot. If she texts back – very typical – then send back a text like, “Been super busy, you gonna be around later to chat and figure out our schedules?” I’ve played with different wordings, but this seems to get the best responses. I’ve used these pretty consistently lately and they work well.

Back to the girl, I got her to come out because I bantered some much with her on the phone that she finally came around – very difficult task. We hit a bar for cocktails and being that I sat in traffic for an hour to get to the city and I drink one gallon of water a day, I had to hit the bathroom – desperately. We walk into the bar together and I point to the couches and tell her to grab a spot and I’ll be right back. When I come back, instead of sitting on the comfy couches, or a bar stool at the bar, she sits at this table in the corner. I was unable to sit too close to her because of logistics of the architecture of the bar, tables, and chairs and proximity of the space.

This was our first stop of a three part date, which included walking through the park and then getting some gelato later. I wasn’t too worried about opportunities for kino at this point. Anyways, three hours later we’re still at this bar having a great time. The conversation was everything from fun and playful all the way to deep and intense. It’s really great when three hours feels like nothing talking to someone. At this point I was starving and the cocktails were starting to hit me, so it was time for some food. We bounce less than half a block to some of the North beach restaurants and are seated outside. Once again I am across the table and logistically this is NOT good for the kind of kino escalation that I need to start. At the time I was not focused on it as the conversation was still very engaging. After eating we are now at midnight – fuck that’s a lot later than I thought. The date is obviously over after 4 hours of straight conversation and we’re both tired and had work early.

This was NOT a kino-less night, but here’s my goal and here’s where we ended up. My goal at the end of the date is to be cuddled up with my date. From here kissing is not a problem. Both the kissing and cuddling are 100% for sure indications this is NOT a friendship. Lack of this is what puts guys into the friendship category. I screwed this up by not paying attention to the logistics of our date. Had I controlled the environments I would have created opportunities for this to happen – which is 100% necessary. By not controlling these logistics – or at least paying attention enough to notice – I let a beautiful baby go with only a parting hug. If you’re kino doesn’t escalate to cuddling or at least a very warm physical vibe, kissing becomes a more difficult task. This is usually how you end up with that awkward turn her cheek kiss.

I blame this on a long stressful day at work and then rushing in traffic to make it on time. I did not take the time to get into a state where I was mentally prepared to handle this and feel victim to rookie mistakes. All is not lost though – because I think overall the conversation went well we will go out again and I will have another opportunity. I absolutely need to get to kiss and cuddle on the next date or it’s over.

So, not wanting to repeat my mistakes from the previous night I absolutely focused on this for my day two on Tuesday. This time I scheduled in cuddling just so I wouldn’t forget. Appetizers and cocktails at Cozmo’s followed by cocktails and cuddling at the matrix. Once again, conversation went well over drinks and food and then bounced to the Matrix to sit in the back on the couches. In all honesty, there was nothing that I did. I was myself. This meant that I had great bodylanguage, kino-ed her all night, talked about deeper topics in my life, made myself vulnerable, talked about deeper things in her life, was playful, and read her body to see where she was at the whole night. When we hit the Matrix I was heavily social proofed from spending way too much time there. She was ready to go when I walked in, so I rushed a cocktail down and split for her place.

Ba Da Boom, Ba Da Bing, I show up to work the next day in the same clothes I had on the previous day.

The only difference in these two dates were my sexual energy and kino. If you had asked any of my friends, or me a few years ago, I would have said that date #1 went really well. I’m also sure that a lot of guys here, if they had been on the same date, might describe it as an awesome date. So why do I feel like it was only okay? Lack of kino really made a lack of sexual tension.

One was awesome and one was okay but borderline me falling into the friendship frame due to lack of kino. Date #1 I was tired and did not put out my “sexual” vibe. Date #2 I cranked that all the way up. This included long stares with a relaxed jaw and heavy eye contact. You would think this would be weird, but the girl knew exactly what this meant and was obviously and physically turned on by it. So don’t forget that you should always be escalating. If the environment does not allow that, then change the environment.

[Mojo]

Good FR!

Whenever I number close, at the bare minimum, I tell them what day I will give them a call to set up the day two – like Sunday evening or something. You give them a specific day and timeframe that they should be expecting the call from you. If she doesn’t answer or get back to you within two or three days I’ll send a text like, “That cute! You’re playing hard to get! You know, it’s a little early to be doing that” This always gets some kind of response. If she calls, banter banter banter and then set up the day 2 over the phone on the spot. If she texts back – very typical – then send back a text like, “Been super busy, you gonna be around later to chat and figure out our schedules?” I’ve played with different wordings, but this seems to get the best responses. I’ve used these pretty consistently lately and they work well.

I like this especially the fact that you specify when you will be calling her. If she likes you there is a less chance of catching her when she is busy or away from a the phone

We bounce less than half a block to some of the North beach restaurants and are seated outside. Once again I am across the table and logistically this is NOT good for the kind of kino escalation that I need to start.

Having a chair divide you and your date is a killer. I have made that mistake before - FR is here: http://dallaspua.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=168 Makes it hard for kino.