01 - The Good, The Bad, and the Kiss

[Shine]

Pua's - Shine and Smile
Location - Addison, TX

THE GOOD:
After going out into the field for about a month together, Smile and I compared notes and chose to attempt a different strategy this last Saturday night. Now this "strategy" feels like a no-brainer especially for the busy bars. Think of basketball. Traveling with the ball is illegal right. Well for us, traveling without opening sets is illegal. We made a busy part of the bar our "home base." If we happened to see a HB8+ across the bar that we wanted to talk to, we had to make our way to her by opening sets around her first. This made our game less predator like and more indirect. Within 5 minutes of being at the bar, Smile and I had opened about 3 sets each and had much higher social value than previous nights. Not only that but I knew his sets and he knew my sets. the communication between wings became much more manageable.

THE BAD:
To make a long story short....I got hit in the face.
ok...I guess I need to share the WHOLE STORY.
1st off I have NEVER gotten hit in public. I have always felt like it is very hard for people to become mad and show aggression towards me. Recently I have been going through some behavioral changes, and obviously they still need some calibration. If anyone as any suggestions as to what I did wrong please let me know. Here is my email: SHINE@MANDITORY.COM. Here is what happened:

Smile and I are standing at the bar, there are many people around us, but still some open spots about 7 feet down from us where anyone could walk up and get a drink. An HB 7 and an HB8 walk up right behind me.

HB7: are you buying? (wanting to get a drink)
Shine: Not right now (and then I turn my back)
HB7: ...well let me in I want a drink. (taping my shoulder)
Shine: what makes you so special that you can take my spot at the bar. I mean you are very beautiful, but beauty is very common. (I wait for a response for a second, but turned away again because another HB5 whispered something in my ear. When I turned back, the HB7 was gone. Her friend the HB8 stood there and looked at Smile and I)
HB8: Ohhh...yall are in trouble now (with her hands in the air...as if she is neutral and staying out of it.)

The HB7 came up from behind this time with a big mexican dude. (the guy was smiling and seemed as though his lady friends were crazy. THIS WAS A GOOD THING.

HB7: You are a prick. this is a bar, and its very rude of you to not let me in. (yelling...very angry).......[i think this set was angry before ariving to the bar]

Maintain my ground and acting calm I said:

Shine: I know that under all of this domineering attitude there is a good person with a good outlook in side of you.

She became disarmed. I felt like a little light switch clicked on inside of her that said "he is just playing" I turned around and started talking to Smile, when I felt someone rub against my side. It was the HB8. I playfully said:

Shine: This shit isn't for free. (turning my head towards hers)

I turned my head back toward Smile...and then BAMMMMMM!!!! She slammed her tall 12oz glass against the side of my face. and spilt her vodka all over me. This really fucking hurt. but I kept my cool! The bouncers grabbed her and she told them "ohhh he was touching me, he grabbed my boobs. And thats when everyone in the club (staff and guests) said NO! he didn't do anything. HE STAYS and you are kicked out of here. After this event our social value went up even higher. Sets opened us just to ask about the crazy girl.

Anyway NONE of this would have happened to me a month ago (before I started getting into all of this stuff) So what did I do wrong? Please e-mail me with comments. Shine@manditory.com


THE KISS:
I had 2 other kiss closes before this night, but none of them as natural as this one.
She was an HB9. Short Asian girl with beautiful eyes and nice large fake tits that were poking out for everyone to see. She was standing by a 2 set of HB4s that had already been opened. I approached one of the 4s and fluffed with her for a minuet. The HB9 turned towards me. I decided to open her while keeping my body towards the 4.

Shine: Did you see the fight outside?
HB9: Interrupting me (hi, I'm Jessica, what's your name?)

IOI. (so I rewarder her by facing her)

I told her my name and finished my opener. I played some cocky funny games with her. I told her to buy me a drink and she hesitated so I drank the one she had in her hand. (i did this very carefully...it was a full drink. I took the straw in my mouth and looked in her eyes. Then I drank the entire thing while keeping my eyes on her. She didn't turn away and she didn't stop smiling. When I was finished i said "thanks" and turned my back towards her. I noticed that she was always peaking into me (whispering in my ear...blah) so I took all of these actions as IOI's. finally I turned my whole body towards hers again and put my arms around her and rotated her (putting her in a locking position at the bar).

Shine: Why am I drawn to you? You are trouble. I can't even talk to you anymore, we have too much in common...blah blah blah. (I pushed her away and turned my back to her and opened other girls near me. I repeated this action several times. Every time the HB9 came back for more. (usually within 4 seconds) So finally...i turned back around towards her and put my arms around her

Shine: I am trying so hard not to kiss you right now.
HB9: really?

Then I kissed her.

The lights came on for last call and she came over to me. She gave me that puppy dog look and we kissed 2 more times.

NO TIME BRIDGE, NO NUMBER, BUT NO LOSS. because Saturday night I learned how powerful this stuff can be. It made me realize how far i had come in a month, but also how far away I was from consistently doing it. I have a lot to work on. And I really do not want to get hit again.

[Rhody]

Please be aware that you can give shine comments anonymously via private message. Personally, I wouldn't use email, because I don't want people having my personal email address. Also, shine put his email address in his profile, so you can email him anonymously by hitting the "email" button at the bottom of his post. There really is no reason to put a link to your email address in your post, shine.

BETTER YET, you can give shine comments right here on the forum. That is what this forum is for. As a member of the community, I enjoy reading field reports as well as the feedback they elicit. I learn a lot from both the field reports and the feedback by some of the guys here, like Mojo, Vector, WD, etc.

As to being hit, it's generally not a good thing to happen. However, it appears that you handled it pretty well. When chaos tries to pull you under and you just refuse to let it affect your state, that is a major DHV and people will be drawn to you. It's a great example of being the OBSERVED rather than the OBSERVER, even though you had to get hit in the face with a glass to achieve it. Good field report.

[Archaeopteryx]

I turned my head back toward Smile...and then BAMMMMMM!!!! She slammed her tall 12oz glass against the side of my face. and spilt her vodka all over me. This really fucking hurt. but I kept my cool! The bouncers grabbed her and she told them "ohhh he was touching me, he grabbed my boobs. And thats when everyone in the club (staff and guests) said NO! he didn't do anything. HE STAYS and you are kicked out of here.

You should have had her arrested for assult. By not doing so you are supplicating, because there's no way in hell you'd let a guy get away with this without having him arrested or beating his ass.

This cunt in a result of the plethora of AFCs that let women get away with this shit. Imagine what would have happened if a girl did this back *at any time* before the feminist movement.

I should note if a girl hits me with a glass, she is either going to get arrested or get knocked out in self-defence. I like how she then tries the "He was touching me card", to try to get out of her bad behavior. She has no problem doing this because society has conditioned her to use that to get away with this crap.

[Smile]

Archaeopteryx has a point but at the same time we were in too good of a mood to press charges because not only were we having a good time but we also got free drinks out of it. Also, I think that we were both shocked (especially Shine) that a girl was that violent over NOTHING that we just brushed it off and played it cool. Besides, the guy usually gets screwed over in cases like that. Right after Shine was hit, I put my hand on his shoulder, told him to relax and keep on socializing. It made us out to be a "survivor" (curb your enthusiasm humor if anyone caught that) and our social value went through the roof. We were the bigger people that night.

I am glad that we did not get screwed over just because we are guys. The bartender saved our asses from bullshit.

[Archaeopteryx]

I am glad that we did not get screwed over just because we are guys.

Guys get screwed all the time because of crap like this. My friend PUA-Mr. Dopple has looked into this in more detail, and his findings really piss me off. Women have learned to manipulate a group as a form of aggression against men (and other women). This is known as relational aggression.

Relational aggression is psychological (social/emotional) aggression between people in relationships. Relational aggression is a form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others' relationships. It uses lies, secrets, betrayals and other dishonest tactics to destroy or damage the relationships and social standing of others in the group.

Men get so screwed over because other guys bend over backwards to given women special treatment. I particularlly like the extreme cases where women make up shit that could ruin a guys life to get some sort of personal gain--they do this with no guilt.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katelyn_Faber
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal_Gail_Mangum
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tawana_Brawley
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tracy_Denise_Roberson

Some statistics:

A survey of all the forcible rape complaints during a three-year period at two large Midwestern state universities found that 50 percent of the accusations the victim recanted.

In a nine-year study of all resolved rape cases in a Midwestern U.S. city of 70,000, the accusers recanted their charges 41 percent of the time. The 41 percent figure does not include the other accusations that the police department recorded as unfounded, for which there was insufficient evidence to establish the assault.

Archaeoptryx was also was the victium of a false accusation of rape. But at least I've never been hit in the head with a Vodka.

[Larry Biggerstaff]

Shine:
Great FR and glad to hear youre doing so well. As for getting hit with a glass, I wouldn't read too much into it.

Always keep in mind when youre out, that there are a lot of dynamics at play, and even if youre at the top of your game, there will be plenty you can't and won't know. Take this HB7, was she just in a fight with her boyfriend? Is she drunk? Under the influene of some other drug? Do you look like her old man who use to beat her? Is she bi-polar? Bottom line is that nothing in your behaviour should have provoked that response. She was out of line and got herself tossed for it. Bet it wasn't the first time. I use to be bouncer back in the day, and if you do that job, even for a little while, you quickly learn that drunks are a pain in the ass and that women cause at least as much trouble as guys.

So I wouldn't lose any sleep over this, you're putting yourself in the mix and that sometimes means negative reactions, even if this was an extreme case. Good job keeping your cool.
Regards,
Larry

[boyracer]

I agree with Larry. Sounds like your game was spot on, just ran into the wrong chicks... There are a couple of crazy ones out there!

However, I think there's an important lesson in here as well that we can learn from. It's MORE important to watch your body language and tonality than the actual words you're saying. Tone and body language together make up 93% of all communication, the words are only 7%.

Shine, I'm not saying you did anything wrong with your BL and tone, it just made me think of that, and I thought I'd point it out.