The Pussy Parade!

[Guest]

So I have been seeing this girl for about a month, less than 10 dates, more than 5. I haven't been counting. She was a SNL. Yesterday, I received an email from her. Here it is.. Name's changed to protect the innocent.

[QUOTE]Ok, this is not one of those, O crap, emails... this is just an FYI email... and yes, for an attorney who has no fear in the courtroom, I am a real chickenshit when it comes to relationships. blunt, but true. I do better emailing when its something of a "relationship" type issue.
so... here goes.
I told you when you met me I was sowing my wild oats. Up until right before you met me, I was pretty much dating exclusively one guy for four months, I broke it off. Even though he was a great guy, he really didn't have the same ideas about where his life was headed, and he had some issues that just made it impossible for him to ever really get close. He didn't know if he wanted to stay in WF or move back closer to his parents in Amarillo, etc. He point blank said that he never really saw himself enjoying life out in the country and he never really could spend the night comfortably with me, and I never spent the night with him. That bothered me and we tried to work on it, but it wasn't right. I'm no peach either. I'm sure my bluntness bowled him over and overwhelmed him.

Before that I dated a guy for 10 months. Although we both wanted the same things, he absolutely could not and never would be able to get his life together to accomplish those things. I am not being harsh, he really has some issues, PTSD, MS, etc, etc. We were on and off again for those ten months, breaking up about 4 times and getting back together. We spent 2-3 nights a week together, and it was comfortable. But, the reality hits you eventually that this isn't going to work long term. He wanted to get married. He was pretty much saving for an engagement ring and I knew that it was time to end it before that purchase was made.

So, long story short, while I've dated some nice guys, they either never wanted the same things I wanted, or if they wanted them, didn't have the tools or the abilities to accomplish those things. I have dated in between and have had fun.

Here's the deal. In the past, I've always been the one who brings up the subject-- where is this going? Are we dating exclusively, etc? I'm not doing that any more. If YOU decide you want to bring up that subject, its your choice. Until we have that talk, and you bring it up and YOU make the conscious decision that's what you want, I'm going to assume and going to act as if you are free to date others and vice versa. F2F in slang (free to F*$#% others.) But you need to know if you ever do make that choice to have the talk, there's certain things I expect from a steady boyfriend. One is spending the night and vice versa. Respect of course, honesty, fidelity, treat me like I treat you, etc. But you don't ever seem to have a problem with that, so that's a non issue. I can't promise I'm going to be good at pillow talk. Its a lot easier to have sex than be intimate. Think about that. Sad, but true.

Alright, enough of the serious talk. I enjoyed last night. [/QUOTE]

So after that, I responded:

[QUOTE]I prefer to communicate directly face to face about these things, but I understand your reluctance. I am concerned that you felt you had to write this and that you could not tell me directly. You will need to explain to me your decision here. More of an explanation is required than that you are a bit of a "chicken" when it comes to talking about this.

However, as you are more comfortable with this medium, I think it is probably best if I respond in kind. It's also late, and I have a feeling that you are either asleep or having amazing sex. Either way, you're unavailable and that is okay.

Allow me to be equally blunt when I talk about the direction and course of our "relationship". We have been on a handful of dates, less than 10, more than 5. I haven't been counting. I need more time to understand who you are, what you are about, and how you handle all the important things. Today, I learned how you handle difficult conversations. This is fine, but it is not my ideal.

I will not be broaching the subject of "becoming steady" as it is an illusion. There is no such thing as "steady" short of sharing a jail cell with "bubba." You are a grown woman with drives and ambitions, goals, and challenges. You will commit to someone or you will not depending on what YOU want to do at the time. No amount of me saying that I want to do something should influence that decision. This is the same for me. I will either commit or I will not depending on what I feel is right. What I will commit to, is the idea that I will try hard not to mislead you about my intentions. I expect the same courtesy from you. In short, and in my opinion, this should happen organically without it having to be decided.

The topic of being free to fuck is also a communications issue. My position on this is as follows. The unfortunate reality of sex is that I have sex with everyone you have sex with, and vice versa. I will not have sexual relations with you if I perceive you to be riding the cock carousel. I don't perceive that to be the case currently, hence our current intimacy, but my perceptions could be wrong. Simply put, I don't know anything about anyone your being intimate with and don't care to contract a potentially incurable disease. So if you wish to continue our intimate relationship as we learn and grow to know each other, than I will be all for that, as long as I am your only current partner. If you wish to have multiple partners, then we will need to re-evaluate that portion of our relationship. That's not to say that we can't be intimate but simply to say that intercourse will be off the table. ....and yes, I can control myself :)..

I enjoy your company a great deal and it may surprise you to know that I am not referring to the sex. You have a sharp mind, your funny, driven and sexy. I look forward to seeing you soon hotstuff.
[/QUOTE]

She called me later all pissed off that I insinuated that she was a whore. I hung up on her. This morning, she knocked on my door. Starbucks coffee in hand, and all apologetic. I drank the starbucks, and I sent her off to work with a creme filling. I hate drama!

[Guest]

First of all, letters or emails like this are just the way women communicate. They hate, hate, hate to confront men about relationship things unless they're in a relationship. And, even then they'd rather just play their passive aggressive bullshit games and force you to pry it out of her.

In all my years, I've never had a woman, of any value that is, bluntly ask me to my face: where is this going? Never. One caveat would be that she and I have been in a formalized, committed relationship. Then, often they'll man up and simply ask. My last GF, if you want to call her that, asked me point blank if I wanted to be exclusive...after she asked me that, I decided I didn't want to be with her any longer. I'm the one that leads the relationship, not her. This was her way of trying to get hand over you and I think you handled it very well. She tried to force you to give her a yes or no answer and you basically said, hey I enjoy you, we have fun, but I'm not cool with you fucking someone else. Whether or not we're emotionally exclusive is a different story altogether.

Her bringing up her past seems a bit like her trying to qualify herself to you. Almost her way of saying, "listen, guys want to be in relationships with me so you should as well."

There are a few code words that a man should look for when they first meet a girl:

-I don't want anything serious (Lie, that's exactly what they want)
-I'm sowing my wild oats (but, I'm only doing so until I find a worthy man...when I find him I'm not letting go)
-I just want to have fun (I need to have fun to distract me from the pain of being alone)
-Free to fuck (I'm threatening to fuck other guys because I think you're fucking other girls, but I'm not really going to fuck any one else because I just want your meaty fuck stick)
-We're just going to be friends with benefits/fuck buddies/etc. (I'm going to fuck you and hope that my magical pussy will convince you to commit to me...in the meantime, I'm going to go out on dates with lesser men and will call you after I make them drop me off at my place so you can give me a good rogering)

What they say is not what they mean. It all comes down to relationships. All women want them, eventually. And, if she's saying any of the above with you that's exactly what she wants from you. A true fuck buddy never, ever, ever calls herself that because then she knows she's a whore, slut, etc. A girl that is truly down for free to fuck never says that because then she knows she's a slut. Sluts don't give labels. Actually, they don't really say much about your relationship. They call you when they want your cock, then come over, then strip off their clothes, then fuck you, and most likely they then leave. Done. End of story.

Now, the problem is that women that say any of the above statements are much, much more likely to stray. They use sex as a weapon and if you don't give them what they want, they'll eventually find some poor shlub behind your back that will give them want they want. Of course, they'll lure him in with their magical, in their minds only, pussy.

In my experience, when a woman starts trying to guide the relationship, then it's time to acknowledge that she's not the kind of girl you want. If she's willing to force a casual relationship into a serious one then can you imagine the kind of manipulation, passive aggression, and pressure she'll put on you when you're in the serious relationship? She'll own your balls. Period.

When a woman says any of what I wrote above it's time for you to acknowledge that's she's not the kind of girl you can trust because she uses sex as a weapon. She'll use it against you (by withholding it) and she'll use it to destroy your relationship (by giving it out freely to others, in the false hopes that some other man will give her what she believes will make her happy). These women are selfishness exemplified. They have zero regard for the impact of their actions on any one, including those that she claims to 'love.'

Now, on the other hand, when you're with a woman that doesn't say shit like all of that gibberish above and doesn't try to force the relationship to become something that it is not then you know you've found a good one. You've found a woman of immense feminine beauty. She's going to allow you to guide the relationship, to lead her, to use her pussy to please you, and to remain loyal to your cock.

Be careful with this one man...

Also, she alluded to being a lawyer. Hmmm, feminazi lawyercunts are the worst man, the absolute worst.

[Guest]

I guess I should have seen the manipulation before. Thanks BR. You're so right.

[Guest]

I nexted her tonight. She pushed me again about committing to her, and I responded impassively. She got pissed and started sniping, I said that i didn't need the stress and walked.

[Guest]

This was a good morning read. Thanks!