Online Game Field Report

[Guest]

This is spread out between a few days on Plenty of Fish.

[QUOTE=ME]Hi, I saw you viewed my profile so I am returning the favor. You definately pass the cute test, and I love the honesty in your profile. Maybe someday we can get to know each other. Until then, I'm going to go steal garden gnomes from all my neighbors before it gets to dark. TTYL, -S[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=HER]
Well thank you for returning the favor. :) I try to be as honest (and tactful) as possible.

Garden gnomes!!! lmbo! and why, pray tell, would we steal those.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ME]Thank you for the reply HB7, To answer your question, I steal garden gnomes and lock them up to keep them from stealing underpants. :P

Just out of curiosity, have you done anything silly and nonsensical like stealing Garden Gnomes? [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=HER]
Your emails have made my day.lol By the way, The name is HB7. :)

OOOhhhh underpants. I got ya. I tank you from the bottom of my heart, sir, for keeping underpants in your neighborhood safe. There must be some type of civic duty award for just that.

I haven't don e anything truly nonsensical in a long, long time. Been far to busy trying to be a grown up lately. :( Which isn't good for your heart I hear.

Well S I wish you much luck on your next Gnome napping!
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ME]I go out tonight at around 8o'clock to begin my nightly napping. Of course everyone knows gnome napping can be pretty dangerous. The gnome king heard about me a few weeks about and showed up on my front lawn with his gnome army. Twas a scary sight to be sure! I had to give up my best pair of underpants and promise to go after bird baths instead! Only then did he go away. :P

On another subject all together, We're going to have to do something about that grown up thing. VERY BAD FOR YOUR HEART :D. However, I will restrain myself and obey the three email rule before we exchange numbers. After all, I don't want to appear to forward. Even if I am at times.[/QUOTE]

I used Rhody's future projection stuff in the above. I love his use of future projection and us it somehow in just about every set/date/exchange that I have.

[QUOTE=HER]Lloyd pola gracia de Deus, Alto Rei dos gnomos! You have met him! Please believe me, he is an absolute delight when not on a rampage to protect his kind. Kinda cuddly in a weird sort of way. ~wink~ He has a thing for hummingbird moths ... just sayin', if you need a bribe sometime.

I try to be silly. I promise I do but I think the minute you start eating a high fiber diet the inner child dies within (or at least hides under the couch). Damn you All Bran!

So this 3 email rule ... is it divinely mandated or personal restriction. It's a good one if I had to say so myself.

Anyhow, I'm running low on REM cycles this week so I think I'm going to go attempt to stock up tonight. Have fun with the bird baths ... take a wagon to carry them, save your back lift with your legs.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ME]Lloyd Pola Garcia the Second, High King of the Gnomes? Why yes, he certainly is feisty when you get between him and underpants. HummingBird Moths? Well, I'll have to use that as leverage the next time he shows up on my lawn.

That was awesome! You show great potential grass-hoppa! What do you mean, high fiber is great, because you can make funny jokes about the bathroom ALL DAY LONG!

As for the 3 email rule, it's just so much more fun to talk about gnomes and bird baths in person is all. It's my own personal piece sanity on these sites. I figure I will know if someone is insane stalker girl or not by the third email. So far your passing the sanity test....but I am curious about your involvement with the Gnome King!

So this may seem like a silly question as we go into our forth email, and in the interest of getting to know each other better... When you were a little girl, what was your favorite toy growing up and why? [/QUOTE]

Again, using some of Rhody's stuff in the above, mainly the question about Toy's. I really wracked my brain for something better, but I couldn't think of anything.

[QUOTE=HER]Lloyd by the grace of God, High King of the Gnomes. :)Our involvement is purely professional. Midgets and Gnomes have an understanding.

Well for your information I am not a stalker chick till at least the 5th email. I do have some dignity, at least that's what they tell me in my sleep.

Paper and pencils were my favorite toys growing up. I wanted mom and dad to see things the way I saw them. So what was yours and why?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ME]Are you sure Lloyd is going to be okay with you seeing me? He's a pretty jealous little gnome and all. Maybe I will bribe him with Hummingbird moths just so I can flirt shamelessly with you for a bit longer. Who knows, I might even steal a kiss when he isn't looking.

When I was really little, I loved action figures, but when I grew up a bit, I turned into super geek, master of the computer type stuff and lover of Sci-Fi goofiness! I loved it because it there were never any limits on what I could be or what I could do. I still value that attitude. However, nowadays, I just am a mild mannered reporter - nope, no sir, no super powers here. Please move along now.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=HER]
As I said me and Lloyd are professionals. He wont try to kill you ... just leave dirty surprises in your toilet and have dryer troll buddy steal your socks (the left of course). Be not afraid to flirt ... I find it very acceptable. ;D

I have a couple of super heroes living in my house. Spider man, Batman, and Iron man. They are miniture here though, only 3 foot nothing, and wear pajamas beneath their costume. My roomie has a 4 yr old. nuff said

I grew up with a computer/sci-fi geek, I can relate. lol I like the attitude.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=ME]See now that's an interesting topic right there. Munchkins are much different from gnomes or midgets and can get away with impersonating super heroes. They have very expansive imaginations, although when they are young they still leave nasty surprises for you.

I like emailing you and it's fun because it gives me time to think through what I am going to say. (It's hard to come up with funny stuff about garden gnome king's named Lloyd without thinking about it :P)

However, I would much rather talk to you, and / or have some coffee with you. (Yes, I'm a total StarBucks whore!) My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. I understand if your to shy to call, so feel free to text and I will call you.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=HER]

I can't help but giggle out loud every time I read your emails. Your sense of humor is is rockin'

Yea the munchkin is great but I don't get to chill with him much. (we are on conflicting schedules :( )But when I do get the pleasure of his company we usually chill out on the couch tickling each other and watching a cartoon. I love him more than my luggage.

You pegged me ... I am totally shy! Good call. I enjoy starbucks as much as the next midget, believe you me. I'll text you tomorrow between my classes ( noon to 1:30 ) since I don't know your sleep schedule and such. Till then guard your socks.
[/QUOTE]

The last msg is from yesterday, I did get a text, and called to setup a day 2. All in all, it was pretty successful.

[Guest]

Excellent job! I thought the exchange was really good and your emails kept her inyerest.

I don't have any online dating experience, however, I think you may have stuck with the gnome thread a little longer than you had to. Also, I think you couldve gone for the number / day 2 sooner, Because she was clearly interested.

Other than that, great work!

[Guest]

Yep, the gnome thing was a little overkill my friend.

You could have tightened up the thread a little bit. You should only need 2 - 3 volleys before you get a day2 or a number.

Other than that everything was pretty solid.

[Guest]

There was a reason I kept the gnome thread going throughout. Once she accepted it and started participating in my altered reality, I could use it to build an inside joke. In my experience, if you can make an "inside joke" about something, then you can use that during a day 2 to help build comfort. This has been successful for me several times.

In this case, the inside joke is about how jealous "Lloyd the Gnome King" is going to be that she is seeing me. She already expects me to flirt heavily and "steal a kiss" because of this device. This device also grant's me instant identification because I'm the guy who chases gnomes. She will likely remember that fun guy who chases gnomes for the rest of her life, whenever she thinks about Garden Gnomes.

I get what you guys are saying about killing the thread. I am not sure how to accomplish the same effect if I do.

I had a really hard time pulling a number from her. This is my biggest disappointment with this exercise. I wanted her to comply with my reality that we were going to exchange numbers. Instead, I fell back to a tactful command to call/text me and provided her with my number. I didn't actually pull the number until she texted me. I think it is because she has the girl next door / shy girl self image going on. This is based on her comments and her pics. Not 100% sure though why she only complied with the command and did not comply with the suggestion once she felt comfortable?

[Guest]

Day 2 sucked balls, literally. She's cute in the face but heavier than her pic suggest. Down from HB 7 to HB5.. maybe.. is there such thing as a hb5? Or does that classify as uGGLyBiSh?!

The inside joke thing apparently worked. She had made a cute little "gnome hat thing" with King Lloyd written on it. I remember thinking that I totally didn't get the whole "Martha Stewart" vibe from her.

I found myself wishing I would have cut that gnome thread off at the beginning of the email volleys. I bow to you guys and the wisdom here. I have to keep repeating to myself "Don't question da Bull!" and "His moniker is Prodigy for a fuckin' reason."

God I still have a fucking hangover from last night. It really is true that if you drink enough you don't really care that she's 30lbs over weight.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=traxxus;40985]Day 2 sucked balls, literally. She's cute in the face but heavier than her pic suggest. Down from HB 7 to HB5.. maybe.. is there such thing as a hb5? Or does that classify as uGGLyBiSh?!

The inside joke thing apparently worked. She had made a cute little "gnome hat thing" with King Lloyd written on it. I remember thinking that I totally didn't get the whole "Martha Stewart" vibe from her.

I found myself wishing I would have cut that gnome thread off at the beginning of the email volleys. I bow to you guys and the wisdom here. I have to keep repeating to myself "Don't question da Bull!" and "His moniker is Prodigy for a fuckin' reason."

God I still have a fucking hangover from last night. It really is true that if you drink enough you don't really care that she's 30lbs over weight.[/QUOTE]


If it were me, I would have bolted as soon as I saw that hat. That just reeks of desperation right there.

[Guest]

When you say "sucked balls literally" I assume you got a blowjob. If so, awesome, sure beats jacking off!

Secondly, I don't think there is such a thing as hb5, because then wouldn't she just be average? So maybe an ab5!

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Prodigy;40997]When you say "sucked balls literally" I assume you got a blowjob. If so, awesome, sure beats jacking off!

Secondly, I don't think there is such a thing as hb5, because then wouldn't she just be average? So maybe an ab5![/QUOTE]


Getting a BJ from an ug or a fattie is awesome because they give the very, very best ones.

As for the HB5/AV5, I would say that an HB5 does exist because, in my opinion, the average woman in the U.S. is probably a 3 or 4. There are a lot of ugs and fatties out there...not to mention women that are old as shit and well past their prime.

[Guest]

[QUOTE]When you say "sucked balls literally" I assume you got a blowjob. If so, awesome, sure beats jacking off!
[/QUOTE]

A BJ and beyond. I f-closed.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;41001]Getting a BJ from an ug or a fattie is awesome because they give the very, very best ones.
[/QUOTE]

Haha. Fat girls give the best head cause they're hungry.