Online Game FR: 10/12/10

[Guest]

The following is an email conversation (back and forth) between me and a ping I got on PoF. She reached out to me Initially. I think I went wrong in a later exhange, which I will include here, because I have not heard back. I'd like suggestions, feedback.

Her: Your profile was a fun read. I think stealing garden gnomes would be fun and Tuscany is awesome! I'm down lol when r u picking me up? Lol

Me:How about I pick you up tomorrow... We'll go grab some real authentic italian coffee just after lunch (starbucks) get to know each other, then bounce to go feed the ducks, then we'll go race to the top of anthill for the title of KING(or) QUEEN of the mountain! LOL Whoever loses has to grant the winner one wish! As for the garden gnomes, their feisty little buggers, we may have to save that for a second date.

Her (a day later): It sound fun but I'm actually sick today :( I've been home with body aches sucking down vitamins, herbs, and chicken noodle soup. Sorry.

Me: I was wondering why I didn't hear from you, hotstuff! I am out of town most of this week and next weekend on business. If your feeling better on Tuesday, then we can do something. I leave for Atlanta on Wednesday night.

I've been wanting to go to that halloween store and look around. Halloween stores always make me feel like a kid in a candy shop! If your really nice, I'll let you join me and you can try on different mask and scare me! LOL!

Oh and I gotta ask, Alicesmonkey? Do you own a spider monkey or something? It's not going to throw poop at me is it? LOL

Her: I want to check out that store too. Where did they open it this year? No Alice is my dog and sometimes I think she thinks I'm her trained money. She's a chihuahua. She has no opposable thumbs to fling poo otherwise she probably would lol

Me: It's over off of Lawrence Rd this year. I saw the signs for it today when I was leaving Academy. I haven't been yet so don't know exactly where.

I heard a funny joke about a chihuahua.

A Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

So see, now, I know something about you that no one else on this site knows... That you have a wanna be poop throwing spider monkey of a dog named Alice. I totally get the trained part. Sometimes I think I am the pet and my cat is the owner. LOL

I don't know that it's going to work out between us. I mean your one of those freaky DOG lovers and I like independent cats who treat me like they own me. Hrrrm... Im already seeing a trend here! LOL!

Her: LOL well sorry to hear that. I need to get a Halloween costume actually

Me: Are you always so literal? Let's go on Tuesday to look at them together. LOL!

Her: I can be, but mostly I'm bustin your chops. I have an odd sense of humor. It's a mix of English dry and American humor. I'm from Boston but I'm not a Yankee I'm a New Englander and yes there is a difference. :) But I get a kick out of your sense of humor. You make me laugh because you are original and creative :) very admirable

Me: Not a Yankee, I don't believe you for a single minute! Anyone born north of the Red River has to be a Yankee! Ok, so I suppose I am willing to be educated in the subtle differences between you northern folk. So being from New England, is the seafood really as good as everyone says?

For me...I was born in the Riviera....well, the back of a Buick Riviera anyway.. Wait! no that's the movie Gattaca. LOL! I came from a small city right on the Gulf coast next to the Louisiana border, that no one has ever heard of. I always say that I'm from Beaumont, TX because at least some people know where that is.

The thing about sense of humor is kinda funny right? I mean, here we are, talking via written message and if it wasn't for the emoticons I would have no way to share my emotional state. I inherited my sense of humor from my dad. It's a blessing and a curse. For those who "get it" it's awesome, but for the other 90% of the populations, well...... not so great. I'm glad your an upper 10 percenter! LOL


So I have not heard back from her since yesterday morning, which is fine, either she got busy or I got nexted. Which is all good, but would like some analysis.

[Guest]

You kept asking her out and she kept saying no. There's no need for that.

Also, remember, she's an Internet girl. You know literally nothing about her, don't commit yourself to a potentially long and painful date.

These days, I usually do it like this:

Blah, blah, blah response to her last email...

Email vollies are nice and all, but you seem cool (I think ;) let's meet for a drink next week. I'm free Tuesday and Thursday...

You, my friend, got caught up in the quick sand that email vollies quickly become. Remember, losing your momentum via this medium is super easy. I think you sensed this because your emails got longer and she got more investment from you than she put forth towards you as you kept sending emails back and forth.

I doubt she was sick. You just proposed a high investment date. Although, I suspect you were just being funny. Still though, a drink would suffice.

In that case, go with something like this:

Well, normally I'd ask you to grab an italian coffee, play king of the hill, blah, blah, blah BUT since I'm not too sure how cool you are, I think an adult beverage is more our speed.

Anyway, on a related note, I'm starting to rethink the entire Internet game these days. So, I've devised a multi-step test to see if my theory is right. I'm starting to think that this medium is too socially accepted amongst men AND women use it for validation and also get freaked out by how much interest they get from men. For example, I posted a shill just this morning on Match.com of a cute red head (an easy 8+)...it's 10 till 3pm and the profile has already had 45 views, 7 emails, and 15 winks. This during the day when people are supposed to be working. Can't wait to see what happens tonight.

With so many guys in the crowd, it's easy pickings for women. And they get super, super selective. I'm guessing that it's super easy to get lost in the mix and easy to be nexted if one little thing doesn't fit their 436 bulleted checklist of what they think they want. I'm not sure what is required, pushing the envelope even more OR ditching the Net as a viable means of pulling chicks.

This didn't seem to be a problem 6 - 8 months ago. Maybe it's because Summer is over and guys are flocking to the Net out of desperation. Hard to say.

[Guest]

The first thing that comes to my mind is too many LOLs. When you use it after your own joke, to me, it comes across as rapport seeking. If you use it in response to her joke, it's better to use a statement like, "I think you're funny." I never use LOL, and I only rarely use a wink emoticon to soften a really cocky comment or question.

Anyway, it seems like she's into it. Take your time reading and interpreting her responses. Don't jump to negative conclusions (you're too literal). You have a girl actually investing in the interaction, which is quite an accomplishment with online dating. Give about the same amount that she does.

I think there's a good chance she'll go to the Halloween store with you. Nice job!

[Guest]

Traxxus, always remember if she sends you 10 word responses, send her 10 word responses back. You had good content, just too much. She'd send you one-two sentence responses and you'd send her paragraphs!

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;38039]

Anyway, on a related note, I'm starting to rethink the entire Internet game these days. So, I've devised a multi-step test to see if my theory is right. I'm starting to think that this medium is too socially accepted amongst men AND women use it for validation and also get freaked out by how much interest they get from men. For example, I posted a shill just this morning on Match.com of a cute red head (an easy 8+)...it's 10 till 3pm and the profile has already had 45 views, 7 emails, and 15 winks. This during the day when people are supposed to be working. Can't wait to see what happens tonight.

With so many guys in the crowd, it's easy pickings for women. And they get super, super selective. I'm guessing that it's super easy to get lost in the mix and easy to be nexted if one little thing doesn't fit their 436 bulleted checklist of what they think they want. I'm not sure what is required, pushing the envelope even more OR ditching the Net as a viable means of pulling chicks.

This didn't seem to be a problem 6 - 8 months ago. Maybe it's because Summer is over and guys are flocking to the Net out of desperation. Hard to say.[/QUOTE]

I can't seem to get much success with internet dating and have given up on it, but I figured that it was because I use free sites like okcupid and pof. It seems like you and lion have a decent turnout on match.

What do you think of this article roissy wrote about online dating? [url]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/09/12/online-dating-is-futile/[/url]

[Guest]

I think Roissy is right on about the problems with approaching and that if online is your only vehicle, then your going to have problems. I also know that he is right about the validation boost that women get.

I keep thinking of online as more of a fishing strategy. Put the bait out there, and let them come to me. I don't even bother sending emails out unless they send to me first.

Bottom line is that there is no substitute for a face to face approach.

I swear that there needs to be like a weekly get-together of guys that have trouble approaching and some sort of "approach coach". This could make a huge difference in men's lives and it is something that has to be worked on constantly. I mean, yeah you can do this yourself, but I have found personally that I have a REALLY hard time getting the momentum to do it. Every now and then, I will get the momentum and I will go out and open a set or two, but it is still a really hard thing for me. Sometimes I find that I just don't really care. I hate to say it, but sometimes I feel like what Smirks described in one of his post. A guy who found the community but isn't going any further.

However, there is one thing that I know for sure. I'm going to keep going down this road and pushing myself. I'm getting better results now than I did a year ago. Which I think means I am on the right path.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Gunslinger;38044]I can't seem to get much success with internet dating and have given up on it, but I figured that it was because I use free sites like okcupid and pof. It seems like you and lion have a decent turnout on match.

What do you think of this article roissy wrote about online dating? [URL]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/09/12/online-dating-is-futile/[/URL][/QUOTE]

I would never pay for a dating site...ever. I guesstimate that nearly everyone who ends up trying dating websites are going to try the free ones first. I would also guesstimate a large majority that look in to it lose interest after a small period of time on the free site. Get'em while they're hot.

As for the OP, the #1 problem I saw is that you IMMEDIATELY went for the date. Desperate. The only thing you knew about this girl was what she lied about on her profile. I always spent a day or two playing email tag before going for the # and eventually date. When you get a 'no' type answer, cut the thread and revisit it later...not in the next response. She isn't comfortable with you yet. You need to treat the interaction like you're the prize. Make her earn your date and time.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Gunslinger;38044]I can't seem to get much success with internet dating and have given up on it, but I figured that it was because I use free sites like okcupid and pof. It seems like you and lion have a decent turnout on match.

What do you think of this article roissy wrote about online dating? [URL]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/09/12/online-dating-is-futile/[/URL][/QUOTE]


I've had a lot of success online. But, it's starting to wane. My hit ratio is falling, my views are fewer and far between, and I'm getting less contacts. I feel something may have tipped or we've reached an inflection point where there are just way too many men online. That's my theory.

I read this post and it has led me to do the most detailed study of Internet game on Match.com to date. I have created several different shills with varying attractiveness and with different profiles and will be taking turns running each one of them for 5 day intervals.

I will be writing back to email messages that I find to be Alpha, because I know what that looks like, and will act like the girl from the other end. I will also write back to a few Betas to see how they respond. I will read every single guy's profile that contacts me looking for the best of, what works and what does not.

Then, I change the shill to a different username, pictures, and profile.

I'm going to keep detailed records of who responds, how many view, emails, winks, IMs, etc.

Finally, I will post the results. Then, I will run a profile of myself in 6-10 major cities based on my findings. Tweaking as necessary to see what does and doesn't work. Openers, pics, profiles, etc.

Once I finish with that, I'll post the results and findings, in detail.

I'm going to put the Internet Game to the test and either unlock the code or put it to bed once and for all.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;38047]I would never pay for a dating site...ever.
[/QUOTE]

That is odd coming from a guy who latched on to a girl so hard he met online he hasn't been seen in a Year.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=playercool;38050]That is odd coming from a guy who latched on to a girl so hard he met online he hasn't been seen in a Year.[/QUOTE]

Case in point. Didn't have to pay to get a girl worth latching to. : P