First Sarge Back

[Guest]

For the first time in two years, I went out sarging on Friday night (10/29/09) at Glass Cactus. I met my wing and his friend, who I met for the first time. This guy is married, a little overweight, round face, glasses, etc. He doesn't fit the type at first glance, but this guy is a natural.

After initial greetings, we head outside so they could smoke (I don't). While out there, we met an older guy (I say "older," but I may be older than he. It's just that he was wearing a suit and just SEEMED older) who was hitting on just about every woman who walked by. This guy had NO GAME.

At one point these two girls walked up to bum a cigarette. One was a HB8, blond, 21 years old, pretty hot, but rather obnoxious and drunk. The other was a HB7, short, but somewhat cute. They were fun, but totally in their own world with their VIP table and their AFC boyfriends. They would come and go as the night progressed.

I opened a walking 2-set, HBAmazon6 and HBAsianBiker6.5, with "who lies more." It still works like a charm. Maybe it worked too well for reasons I will get into below. I isolated HBAmazon and did some comfort things. For example, I did the game where you ask about 4 topics (white room, favorite color, favorite animal, body of water) and do a cold read. She even knew that the body of water had to do with sex, but she went right along with it. I number closed and suggested we rejoin the group.

Here's where it went flat. I wasn't super attracted to this girl. She's 5' 10" without heels and a little big, although she was pretty with long hair and a cool personality. Totally not my type physically though. But I stayed with it, acted casual, held her hand, led her around a little bit. But I never got sexual. I don't know if it was because I wasn't attracted to her or because I was hitting a sticking point. I mean, I wouldn't have turned her down. She is 14 years younger than I and very intelligent, which is sexy. She was not giving me physical IOIs, but she did give some hints. For example, for no significant reason she mentioned that she has had one night stands. I took that as her telling me that she's open to it.

We pretty much stayed in that set, with occasional visits from the HB8, who was even drunker. She just started flashing her gorgeous 21-year-old tits for no apparent reason. But she was a train wreck with a strong frame, which was fun but annoying to deal with.

The night ended with my new natural friend getting a makeout with HBAsianBiker and me getting nothing. That's ok. It wasn't my goal to get a makeout or a SNL on my first sarge out. Besides, I wasn't that attracted to her. The reason I said that the opener worked too well is that I wanted to work on approaching and opening. I wanted to approach my sarge with the mindset of a newbie and I ended up in one set all night. On the bright side, I did recognize that my real problem that I want to address is getting sexual. I want to get to the point where I can get the makeout or SNL if I want it.

[Guest]

Hrmm...

I see guys do this a lot. They say they want to do a lot of openers and then they end up with some UGG all night. So I guess this must be a normal reaction for people who maybe really don't want to achieve their goals and revert back to normalcy. I am not a psychologist but this would be my guess. Not really that you don't want to achieve your goals as much as you are scared of them, or the route you must take.

It sounds like you had a chance to take things sexual with this girl. She hinted at One night stands. Why did she do this? I only know of one reason. She was guiding you to take things in a certain direction. You had a choice right here and you chose not to. Know that you do have the ability to take things sexual if you desire.

Reading your post it sounds like you are a very nice guy. You didn't want to leave this set for some reason. It is your night and your life. Learn to be just a bit of an asshole. You can still hold your true values but it will probably help you in field. If you left the set for a while to go find another set that Amazon chick would have probably stayed there waiting with her friend anyways. Leaving and coming back and reopening later can be powerful as well.

[Guest]

I would venture to say that you may have experienced approach anxiety.

Did you approach girls you actually wanted to talk to?

Maybe you feel bummed cause you didn't get as many approaches in with people that are more attractive to you?

It sounds as if are bummed because you didn't push yourself for some reason or another into sets that you actually wanted to be in, to me at least.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=playercool;33526]Hrmm...

I see guys do this a lot. They say they want to do a lot of openers and then they end up with some UGG all night. So I guess this must be a normal reaction for people who maybe really don't want to achieve their goals and revert back to normalcy. I am not a psychologist but this would be my guess. Not really that you don't want to achieve your goals as much as you are scared of them, or the route you must take.[/quote]

I agree that people tend to sabotage their own success, and the easiest way to do this is to sabotage your success with your success... rest on your laurels. I think I am guilty of that.

[quote]It sounds like you had a chance to take things sexual with this girl. She hinted at One night stands. Why did she do this? I only know of one reason. She was guiding you to take things in a certain direction. You had a choice right here and you chose not to. Know that you do have the ability to take things sexual if you desire.[/quote]

This is a sticking point of mine. I could stand to be more open about my sexuality and my intentions. I may start using Juggler Method and introducing a SOI early and often.

[quote]Reading your post it sounds like you are a very nice guy. You didn't want to leave this set for some reason. It is your night and your life. Learn to be just a bit of an asshole. You can still hold your true values but it will probably help you in field. If you left the set for a while to go find another set that Amazon chick would have probably stayed there waiting with her friend anyways. Leaving and coming back and reopening later can be powerful as well.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, definitely. I could stand to be more of a dick; it would be good for me.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Finesse;33528]I would venture to say that you may have experienced approach anxiety.

Did you approach girls you actually wanted to talk to?

Maybe you feel bummed cause you didn't get as many approaches in with people that are more attractive to you?

It sounds as if are bummed because you didn't push yourself for some reason or another into sets that you actually wanted to be in, to me at least.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't say that I'm "bummed." I got out of the house, went where there are women, opened a set, ran some game. That's a hell of a lot more than I've done in a couple of years. I'm wicked happy. But I also recognize that it's important to be honest about my shortcomings so I can fix them and get better.

However, you are right. It is much easier to approach women you are not attracted to. I didn't push myself into other sets. I easily could have peeled off the group and found other sets to open.

[Guest]

I agree with some of the comments above.

Personally, I don't false eject. Maybe when I get better, I'll start working the room, but for now, I don't care if I end up with the same set all night, as long as I am [B][I]escalating[/I][/B] the interaction.

(Escalating could be verbal or physical escalation)

Escalation will lead to two things: you either get blown out, in which case you approach another chick, or you get the lay. Either case, it's a win-win situation for you.

Unless they are ugly chicks. Then I would eject after some time. Those sets are mainly useful just to get talkative.

[Guest]

Rhody, good to see you back in the saddle sir. It's been too long.