by Guest » Thu May 14, 2009 2:38 pm
Congrats on the k-close.
A couple of observations:
1) IF I do commit to taking a chick to dinner, I almost NEVER take them to chain restaurants. Now, BJs is legit for the reasons you mentioned so it's not a bad call. But, venue selection is crucial. If you were to have taken her to a non-chain restaurant that was exactly like BJs but was called JJs and was the only one of its kind in the city she would more than likely have been much, much more impressed for a variety of reasons. 1) You are, more than likely, showing her something new because people read the wrong books, listen to the wrong music, and go to the wrong places. 2) You are setting yourself apart from the crowd because you're taking her someplace unique, this makes you unique, and makes her feel special. 3) If she's never heard of it, it subcommunicates that you have the city 'wired' and a man that knows the town has uber high value (also when she say's 'I've never been here before' tell her that it's one of your favorite places but not as good as...then list a handful of other cool places that she's probably never heard of either.
2) You didn't mention this, but did you get there early or did she? I almost always show up first. And, when I do, I immediately go to the bar. My goal is to make HER look for ME. I will not wait outside for her. No sir. It makes you look like a sad little puppy waiting for you owner to get home so they can feed you. Instead, I go about my business and grab a drink. Going to the bar and not waiting for her subcommunicates that she is an accessory, of sorts, for your life. It also subcommunicates that you go after what you want and won't wait for permission. If you're sitting at the bar and she walks up, you have a perfect opportunity to kino her RIGHT there. Pull out the stool next to you, give it a pat, say "have a seat, we'll get you a drink." Now, she's right next to you. From this point, kino should be like taking candy from a baby. Finally, if you're at the bar, with other people you have an opportunity to make temporary, bar friends. If she rolls up and sees you talking to complete strangers as if you know them, the chicks are going to cream their panties and they'll also understand that if you can strike up a conversation with random people in a matter of minutes you can also do it with OTHER women too.
3) Howie is right. Figure out a way to keep your dates cheap. If you get somewhat respectable at this stuff, you're going to have a ton of dates. This was a mistake I made early on and I can promise you that I burned through a shit ton of cash. Also, it sets the wrong frame for her. If you wine and dine her once, guess what? She's going to expect it again. Remember that you always need to be telling her how it's going to be without actually saying anything.
4) You had her hooked once she agreed to come out with you. She was in comfort, but for a lot of the night it appeared as if you were still trying to build attraction or what not. Sure, you should be somewhat nervous. But, that should disappear within a few minutes of meeting up with her.
5) It's OK to not get sexual, but understand that girls don't ever want to be good. Girls, just want to have fun! And, a lot of the time that fun involves blow jobs, fucking, and anal sex. What she needs is for you to give her an excuse to have fun.
Anyway, sounds like you had a good time...which, in the end, is all that really matters.