As an intro to myself, I thought I would let everyone in on the most recent event that has made me take the initiative to get control over this part of my life. So this story is me a complete AFC. No real knowledge of attraction...
Friday:
A group of like 15 of my friends went out in Fort Worth I'm introduced to a mutual friend Jen. Who happened to be visiting from up East for the weekend. After the introduction we talked for like 20 minutes which I mostly told stories (most of which demonstrated value, but at the time I didn't even know what I was doing). For the next 30 minutes I go to a different part of the bar and talk to other friends. We get into bar 9, I buy a round of drinks head downstairs and Jen immediately pulls me onto the dance floor and we start dancing. Tons of kino she is all over me dancing.
Head back to friends place still tons of kino. Everyone goes to there own room Jen changes into pajamas and I start kissing her on the couch. She grabs my hand and leads me to the bedroom. We continue making out I'm biting her ear, pulling her hair, basic foreplay, but she is still in pajamas. Then, she straddles me while still in her pajamas and starts dry humping the shit out of me and I can tell she is getting off. Breathing hard in my ear and moaning and I'm like hold on I don't have a condom (complete noob mistake, in my defense I'm use to going back to my place either way still a noob mistake). She says it doesn't matter her pajamas are not coming off. I'm like fuck... she initiates dry humping again and I'm like fuck that . So I try and freeze her out because now I'm feeling frustrated. It doesn't work we just get back to to kissing and petting. I'm like fuck this I'm going home.
At some point during the dancing we made plans to go out the next night w/ my friend and his LTR who she was visiting.
Saturday:
Next night we meet up w/ some other friends at the ghost bar and she buys me drinks for most of the night. We start dancing like night before, she is all over me we are making out on the dance etc... Head back to my friend's place again this time I'm prepared w/ condom, but just more of the same she wants to dry hump and make out. Like before I'm like fuck that and I just go to sleep.
We exchanged numbers and talked a few times. I suffered some oneitis for a while. A friend recommended a book another guy gave me some Deangelo tapes and I've been reading and learning ever since. I'm still trying to reframe a lot of my old beliefs on girls and dating etc... I realize I fucked up a lot during that night and am probably pretty luck I got as far as I did knowing nothing about attraction. Still looking back w/ what I've learned I'm not sure how I could have f-closed. My only thoughts now are if I had known what I know now maybe I could have built more attraction early on or been more assertive. Either way I'm ready to learn and get more field experience.
Any good advice on LMR would be nice or how you would have handled it, I would appreciate. I'm still really new to the PUA perspective and have not had a lot of field experience w/ what I've learned the last couple weeks. I'm planning on working on that this weekend. I'll let you know if anything worthy of mention happens.
I plan on trying to meeting up w/ you guys some Friday or weekend in the future. Purgatory sounds like it will be a good time, just Thursdays are bad for me, work and living in FTW would make it a serious bitch.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Intro / Sticking Point
1 post
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by Guest » Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:15 am
From my outside observance it is almost as if she led the bedroom encounter. Now I'm totally down with aggressive women but I still like to lead.
Even though things were escalating it is almost as if you still didn't escalate.
For example: She can dry hump you all she wants but why wasn't her top at least off? You see where I'm going with this?
That is all I will say on the subject of sex lessons.
I will leave you with this advice though.
In my experience girls love aggressive guys in bed. I am not saying go over the top crazy. I am saying be confident and lead the experience. You are dominant she is submissive in the simplest term. This is the quickest way I have seen girls turn into freaks.
Even though things were escalating it is almost as if you still didn't escalate.
For example: She can dry hump you all she wants but why wasn't her top at least off? You see where I'm going with this?
That is all I will say on the subject of sex lessons.
I will leave you with this advice though.
In my experience girls love aggressive guys in bed. I am not saying go over the top crazy. I am saying be confident and lead the experience. You are dominant she is submissive in the simplest term. This is the quickest way I have seen girls turn into freaks.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:13 pm
"She says it doesn't matter her pajamas are not coming off."
Every time I hear a girl say something along these lines, its almost guaranteed that sex is totally an option and its up to you to advance it! Definitely the second night she tried this, you could have got it.
I'd of made some statement that said that wasn't what you were interested in even tho you were! ;-)
Next thing, I'd of pulled my shirt off. This would have showed some confidence in regards to what Playercool mentioned. Women find this "man takes charge" method very seductive.
Follow that up with some more kisses on the neck and throw her around a little like you would a blow up doll. Kind of take her by surprise and she won't have a chance to think otherwise.
The speed at which you escalate is important too. Don't let it plateau. Just keep turning up the heat.
Every time I hear a girl say something along these lines, its almost guaranteed that sex is totally an option and its up to you to advance it! Definitely the second night she tried this, you could have got it.
I'd of made some statement that said that wasn't what you were interested in even tho you were! ;-)
Next thing, I'd of pulled my shirt off. This would have showed some confidence in regards to what Playercool mentioned. Women find this "man takes charge" method very seductive.
Follow that up with some more kisses on the neck and throw her around a little like you would a blow up doll. Kind of take her by surprise and she won't have a chance to think otherwise.
The speed at which you escalate is important too. Don't let it plateau. Just keep turning up the heat.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:18 pm
Right on, I think PC nailed the problem on the head.
You should have been pushing her along...you should have been leading her.
If she's dry humping you, I guarantee you she wants to go further.
Don't worry if a girl tells you her clothes are "not coming off"....it doesn't mean anything. Take it as a test.
Will he lead? or not?
Progress and slowly escalate for this kind of LMR.
Try the over-the-clothes petting for a while if she's not comfortable with you putting your hand up her shirt.
Lift up her shirt and yours a bit and let your stomachs touch while you make out (girls can't resist that one).
If she ever moves your hand away, go back to making out for a while then try again. If that goes on for too long, try doing something to indicate escalation to her like taking off your shirt. Then give it a few more tries.
If still no, try a little freeze-out for a bit
What you described sounds to me like the start of what should have been you getting laid....and then giving up (or possibly just not knowing that you could have gone further).
With that, welcome bro.
You should have been pushing her along...you should have been leading her.
If she's dry humping you, I guarantee you she wants to go further.
Don't worry if a girl tells you her clothes are "not coming off"....it doesn't mean anything. Take it as a test.
Will he lead? or not?
Progress and slowly escalate for this kind of LMR.
Try the over-the-clothes petting for a while if she's not comfortable with you putting your hand up her shirt.
Lift up her shirt and yours a bit and let your stomachs touch while you make out (girls can't resist that one).
If she ever moves your hand away, go back to making out for a while then try again. If that goes on for too long, try doing something to indicate escalation to her like taking off your shirt. Then give it a few more tries.
If still no, try a little freeze-out for a bit
What you described sounds to me like the start of what should have been you getting laid....and then giving up (or possibly just not knowing that you could have gone further).
With that, welcome bro.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:04 pm
Good FR. THIS is how FRs are supposed to be...not, "HEY LOOK WHAT I DID" *waving dick in the air*
I live in Ft. Worth, as do a couple others from here. Every other Community meet up is held in our area (starts at Dukes in Bedford and moves downtown) so I better see you out soon.
I live in Ft. Worth, as do a couple others from here. Every other Community meet up is held in our area (starts at Dukes in Bedford and moves downtown) so I better see you out soon.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:31 pm
[quote1233181308=Smirks]Good FR. THIS is how FRs are supposed to be...not, "HEY LOOK WHAT I DID" *waving dick in the air*
I live in Ft. Worth, as do a couple others from here. Every other Community meet up is held in our area (starts at Dukes in Bedford and moves downtown) so I better see you out soon.[/quote1233181308]
EXACTLY.
It took me so long to read this FR because I don't usually read them for all of the self-promoting that goes on in them.
This has already been mentioned, but as soon as she said she's not taking her PJs off that's when you should have KNOWN that you were going to fuck her. She wouldn't have said it if she didn't consider doing it.
We've had this discussion before, but I don't really believe in LMR tactics besides the freeze out. Shit, I don't really believe in LMR period.
You've got to lead them, you've got to get them in a sexual state, and you've got to get them there BEFORE you leave the venue. Fact is that a girl determines she's going to fuck you when you're in the field. If you did your job correctly, sex should begin in the car on the way home.
Being unsure was also an issue with you. Once I get a girl home, I KNOW I'm going to fuck her. Period. Presume sex, and you'll fuck her.
I live in Ft. Worth, as do a couple others from here. Every other Community meet up is held in our area (starts at Dukes in Bedford and moves downtown) so I better see you out soon.[/quote1233181308]
EXACTLY.
It took me so long to read this FR because I don't usually read them for all of the self-promoting that goes on in them.
This has already been mentioned, but as soon as she said she's not taking her PJs off that's when you should have KNOWN that you were going to fuck her. She wouldn't have said it if she didn't consider doing it.
We've had this discussion before, but I don't really believe in LMR tactics besides the freeze out. Shit, I don't really believe in LMR period.
You've got to lead them, you've got to get them in a sexual state, and you've got to get them there BEFORE you leave the venue. Fact is that a girl determines she's going to fuck you when you're in the field. If you did your job correctly, sex should begin in the car on the way home.
Being unsure was also an issue with you. Once I get a girl home, I KNOW I'm going to fuck her. Period. Presume sex, and you'll fuck her.
- Guest
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