"That could have been you in there, staying the night with me, but looks like you fucked up. Better luck next time"
If anybody finds a set of testicles, I have temporarily misplaced mine
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
An apology to myself
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An apology to myself
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:15 pm
Last night something was set in stone so I left it be under unneeded guidance from less informed sources. Ive been doin this much longer than most, but a bad habit i get into is assuming others know more. What was set in stone, said these words to me last night as i dropped her off @ her house:
"That could have been you in there, staying the night with me, but looks like you fucked up. Better luck next time"
If anybody finds a set of testicles, I have temporarily misplaced mine
"That could have been you in there, staying the night with me, but looks like you fucked up. Better luck next time"
If anybody finds a set of testicles, I have temporarily misplaced mine
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:41 pm
U know, one of the most valuable mantras I have heard comes from a guy named Zan. His philosophy is " yes, I'm the prize, but also she is the prize" meaning I'm the prize but if I don't acknowledge that she also is a prize to be enjoyed, then I miss out, as does she. We can't all be the prize all the time. If a girl is throwing us men IOI's we must at some point recognize and reciprocate the Interest. I learned this lesson last year. I girl will only chase for so long and if you do not reciprocate, you damage her ego/feelings, and then you are no better a person u were when u found the community. Remember that whole saying: "leave them better than you found them"? If we r not living to that, then we are just a bunch of immature boys waving our dicks around. My great grandfather who was like a father to me and a saint to others, had a prayer taped to the back of his (desk plaque I guess its called) it read something along the lines of: when I pass through here let me make the most, be the best, and bestow as much kindness upon people as I may, for I shall not pass this way again. Am I a dick waver, or am I on a path to enlightenment?
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:18 pm
I've always struggled with this notion of 'leaving them better than you found them.'
I can think of 3 or 4 girls that I've 'left' that I can definitively say were better for having known me. But, for every one of those girls I can name a lot of girls that were definitely not better (or at least didn't feel that way).
I've always asked myself how could a man meet a girl, bed her, and walk away and still leave her better than you found her?
Is that even possible?
Sure, you can justify to yourself that you allowed her to be a part of your world of adventure and you gave her physical and emotional pleasure that most men cannot give her. But, that even seems unfair to her. I mean you just dangled something great in front of her, let her have a taste, and then took it away.
The more I think about it, the more I think that 'leaving someone better than you found them' is more a function of them than you. Unfortunately, it's their life, their feelings, and their perception. They own them. They're going to think what they will. You could *think* you left them better, but if they don't believe that as well then you simply didn't. It's not really up to you.
I can see leaving someone better off if you've actually built a relationship, of meaning, with someone.
It's important to strive for the concept of leaving them better (which I think is just a way men justify being dick wavers), but in practice I don't think it's always feasible. We don't have that much control over other people's thoughts and feelings.
I think the real thing to strive for is that of a clear conscience. Generally speaking, we all have a pretty good handle on what's right and wrong. As long as you don't do wrong, granted this is based on your moral code as you define it, then I don't think you have anything to worry about.
In the end, if you even have those moments where you ask yourself these questions then I think you're probably a good person, with good intentions. We all fuck up, but that doesn't make us bad...especially if we feel remorse.
I can think of 3 or 4 girls that I've 'left' that I can definitively say were better for having known me. But, for every one of those girls I can name a lot of girls that were definitely not better (or at least didn't feel that way).
I've always asked myself how could a man meet a girl, bed her, and walk away and still leave her better than you found her?
Is that even possible?
Sure, you can justify to yourself that you allowed her to be a part of your world of adventure and you gave her physical and emotional pleasure that most men cannot give her. But, that even seems unfair to her. I mean you just dangled something great in front of her, let her have a taste, and then took it away.
The more I think about it, the more I think that 'leaving someone better than you found them' is more a function of them than you. Unfortunately, it's their life, their feelings, and their perception. They own them. They're going to think what they will. You could *think* you left them better, but if they don't believe that as well then you simply didn't. It's not really up to you.
I can see leaving someone better off if you've actually built a relationship, of meaning, with someone.
It's important to strive for the concept of leaving them better (which I think is just a way men justify being dick wavers), but in practice I don't think it's always feasible. We don't have that much control over other people's thoughts and feelings.
I think the real thing to strive for is that of a clear conscience. Generally speaking, we all have a pretty good handle on what's right and wrong. As long as you don't do wrong, granted this is based on your moral code as you define it, then I don't think you have anything to worry about.
In the end, if you even have those moments where you ask yourself these questions then I think you're probably a good person, with good intentions. We all fuck up, but that doesn't make us bad...especially if we feel remorse.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:56 pm
We can in fact control feelings and emotions, as we do it to lead them to the bedroom, but you can provide great feelings and emotions outside of that subject. Give ppl a new perspective, or open them up to new ideas. If you carry someone along your road to enlightenment, you allow them to share your growing experiences which is felt by both parties. True the mantra can be used as a means of self justification, but that is strictly a reflection of the effort you put into assuring that the other person is left in a better state than you found them. Maybe you helped them through a rough time in their life... That is more than just a facade. That is something measurable yet priceless.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:28 pm
Controlling someone's emotions and feelings and eliciting emotions are two different things. We elicit emotions, we don't control them. We do and say certain things that naturally result in creating or strengthening an emotion. But is that really control? It's more manipulating than control. You're directing, not forcing. It's a fine line I know, but an important distinction so that we always remember that these women that we emotionally direct are not objects, but people. Our intention is to show them things about themselves that maybe they would not see on their own, expose them to our world (which is typically very different from any other men they've ever known). But, theory and practice don't always equate to the same thing.
Our actions in the world and their impact on people are not every fully known or understood by us. It's very possible that we made a huge impact on someone's life that we never even knew about. It's just as likely that we didn't make any meaningful impression. The fact is that's not our bag, we leave that up to others. People own their emotions, they own what's important to them.
Our actions in the world and their impact on people are not every fully known or understood by us. It's very possible that we made a huge impact on someone's life that we never even knew about. It's just as likely that we didn't make any meaningful impression. The fact is that's not our bag, we leave that up to others. People own their emotions, they own what's important to them.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:37 pm
It is a fine line. between perspectives and paradigms( A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline.)
manipulate:To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner
-dictionary.com
control:To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct. - dictionary.com
enough definitions for one day, dont ya think? ;)
manipulate:To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner
-dictionary.com
control:To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct. - dictionary.com
enough definitions for one day, dont ya think? ;)
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:05 pm
Fine line indeed, and at this point it is splitting hairs.
It's all about perspective, words commonly have multiple meanings (there are definitions out there that would support a distinct, albeit subtle, difference between the two).
Control means something different to me than it does to you. No biggie.
In all honesty, neither word is really good here. Influence is much more accurate. Control and manipulate have such a dark, insidious connotation to them.
It's all about perspective, words commonly have multiple meanings (there are definitions out there that would support a distinct, albeit subtle, difference between the two).
Control means something different to me than it does to you. No biggie.
In all honesty, neither word is really good here. Influence is much more accurate. Control and manipulate have such a dark, insidious connotation to them.
- Guest
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