Dallas PUA

Alright guys. My problem = major approach anxiety. It's funny that I have this because I work at a grocery store where I'm required to say 'hello' to everybody.....but mostly all these people are in their 30's and up, or those that are so old that they should just almost die because of their age. For those of you that don't know, I'm a young-un. Will be 21 in 3 weeks. I could run game on them I guess, but I don't it would yield the same result.

So I've gone to Barnes & Noble about 3 times in the past week and a half.....haven't opened a single set. I went to a mall in Arlington yesterday.....I talked to a few sets, but nothing worth mentioning except that I was in The Gap fitting room, and there was a HB10Mom waiting for her daughter and I try on these pants. I come out of the fitting room and I say to the mom, "Hey I need a female's opinion on something. How do these look?" HB10Mom had me spinning around and everything and said that "she really liked them." Then the daughter came out of her fitting room because she heard her mom talking to a guy......daughter came out and I asked her the same question...she liked them as well. Changed back into my regular clothes, came out of the fiiting room and told the mom, "I like you....you're a good mom....I'm going to get these pants." I went back to the mall today with the will to change. And I did.....sort of...

I walked in through JCPenney and opened some of the women there. It's not hard for me to approach people who I have no intention on picking up and keeping conversation going. So I'm about to walk out of JCPenney and I get a call that someone has tried to break into my place....bad timing. Well, I wanted to get one quick set in on girls my age.....I went to the Fossil store. Looked at some clothes for a bit and then went by the desk.....walked past it and turned back to look at the 2 girls who were behind the desk talking to each other and

I say, "Hey guys, I need a female opinion on something. My friend jon and I were just talking about what pick-up lines work and don't work on girls. I'm going to run a few by you and you rate them....1 being horrible and 5 being awesome."

Girls: "ya ya....that's kewl tpxgloveboy."

Tpxgloveboy: Okay, number one....'hey what's up..how are you girls doing'

Girls: Ya everybody says that, but it's not that bad 'cuz you don't come off as a creep.....blah blah blah

Tpxgloveboy: haha....okay number two. Hey is your dad a baker because you have some nice buns.

Girls: (laughing hard) Ya right....don't ever use a cheesy line on a girl...blah blah blah

Tpxgloveboy: ya i know....that's what I'm saying.

then the girls talk some more and...

Tpxgloveboy: "WHOA WHOA WHOA (gets girl's attention).....back to me now.....(girls be quiet).....I've still got one more....okay....number 3.....hey guys, my friend jon and I were just talking about what pick-up lines work on".....(the girls start laughing at this point)....we talk some more and I get out of there



A few things I realized I did wrong was I failed to give body language like I was about to leave (even though I really did need to go), so I kind of leaned in a little bit......

Second, I failed to mention that 'I couldn't stay long 'cuz I was in a hurry' or whatever reason

Btw, these Fossil girls were HB8 and HB10

I know I didn't neg or progress my game further....I wanna take it one step at a time and get comfortable with each step, but then again, I don't think it's a good idea because it will slow my progress down...


For those of you that know me a little bit, I do go out a lot and party a lot, but I'm the guy who is noticed but is not really remembered at the end of the night. I really want to change this. For the rest of this week, I am goign to a small party tomorrow night where I plan on running some game on some girls....if you have any ideas on anything good to try out or what I should do since I'm so new at all of this, please feel free to reply. On Friday night, I'm going to a country concert at Billy Bob's with a few girls...I've never been there before.....any ideas on what I should wear or do will be appreciated.

I'm new to all of this, and I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but when I go through more and more of these situations with a PUA mindset, the questions will become fewer.

But ya, the newbie mission has me finally taking a step out of the door.....if I could accompany some of you on sarging nights or if I could have lunch with some of you more experienced guys, let me know.

ok first of all the mall thing was a good start, but I think your problem is that you don’t have your head in the game when the game starts. I went out a few weekends ago and was really not warmed up at all and was failing miserably opening sets. But it got me warmed up and I had a masterful sarge later that night (read my first field report http://dallaspua.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1061). One thing I do to get warmed up is think of a past sarge that went really well, or just something that I am proud of about myself. You have to build confidence in yourself before you ever even make eye contact with a chick. Your body language will reflect whether your confidence level is up or down even if you are not thinking about it. Body language should eventually come natural to you, and it will if you are naturally in a confident state of mind.

Secondly you can NOT do everything right the first time. If you try and do a time-constraint, and test out new openers, and worry about body language at the same time you are going to blow it. When you are just experimenting, like you were at the mall, just try to work on one thing at a time (like, body position or whatever).

Third as far as getting the balls to open, you almost have to pretend that you are going to die in two hours and this is the last girl you are going to talk to and you don’t care what happens because you are about to die. You just have to find that mental device that allows you to forget about what you are doing. One thing I think of is just imagine that you have already banged all the chicks that you are talking two and you have the upper hand. After you bang a chick in reality, a lot of pressure is lifted. You can even imagine that you a re a spy and that you don’t really want to bang the chick you just want to complete you more important mission or whatever. That may be somewhat fruity but the point is to just have balls of steel. Just go out there and say “I don’t give a fuck about these ho’s or anything else for that matter.”

Fourth, just keep trying. You always get better at things you practice more. Like I said before I had a horrible night a few weeks ago and then right when I was about to ditch my buddy and just go home I had one of the best sarges in my life. Keep it up! -ULTRA

Change mindset a little. I have severe approach anxiety as well, but when I get into the mindset of "lets have some fun", everything changes.

Btw, are you in Arlington?

tpxgloveboy wrote:I know I didn't neg or progress my game further....

The fact that you didn't neg is a good thing, because you didn't need to. If the girls are already receptive, negging isn't going to help your pickup attempt. What you needed to do is DHV and qualify.

Kudos to you for maintaining your state after the phone call though...not sure I could have done that.

ULTRA wrote:Secondly you can NOT do everything right the first time. If you try and do a time-constraint, and test out new openers, and worry about body language at the same time you are going to blow it. When you are just experimenting, like you were at the mall, just try to work on one thing at a time (like, body position or whatever).

That's a really good idea about working on one thing at a time. I guess I can try something where I just approach a girl that's standing/sitting stationary, and walk past her a bit, do a turn, but leaning back like I"m about to leave and just ask where the bathroom or what time it is or something.

ULTRA wrote:
Third as far as getting the balls to open, you almost have to pretend that you are going to die in two hours and this is the last girl you are going to talk to and you don’t care what happens because you are about to die. You just have to find that mental device that allows you to forget about what you are doing. One thing I think of is just imagine that you have already banged all the chicks that you are talking two and you have the upper hand. After you bang a chick in reality, a lot of pressure is lifted. You can even imagine that you a re a spy and that you don’t really want to bang the chick you just want to complete you more important mission or whatever. That may be somewhat fruity but the point is to just have balls of steel. Just go out there and say “I don’t give a fuck about these ho’s or anything else for that matter.”

Fourth, just keep trying. You always get better at things you practice more. Like I said before I had a horrible night a few weeks ago and then right when I was about to ditch my buddy and just go home I had one of the best sarges in my life. Keep it up! -ULTRA

And those were really good ideas to destroy approach anxiety and just go and do it. One of my biggest fears in life is that when I'm old is that I look back on my life and wished I had done something different. I dont' want to be old and say, "If only I had the confidence to approach random women...where would I be today?" I will try these frames of mind this weekend when I go out and post back and let you guys know the difference.

You're almost 21. Got to a college campus. Are you a student? College campuses are gold for daygame.
There are tons of sets.

If you aren't a student at college, find a friend who is.

The problem with daygame in other locations is you have to wait 10-30 minutes before the next set comes along. That makes AA even worse.

Go to an under 21 club if you can. Is Uropa <21? That would be the thing to do.

I go to college at UNT.....I think my sticking point is that before I approach, I get in the mind set that I'm trying to pick up the girl.....I can talk to a girl who I'm not attracted to at all without any problem.

I'm going to try some of Ultra's ideas and pretend I'm going to die or that I've f*cked the girls already. I feel that I'm getting more confidence already because I'm sarging on a more consistent basis.

Going to Barnes & Noble tomorrow night just to practice my body language and opening.

So I went to Barnes & Noble last night again.....my place for Sunday nights until I find something better.....where do you guys go on a Sunday night to sarge?

There were no sets my age in there at all, but I did practice approaching random people, both men and women. Also, I wanted to practice on my body language. I asked the same question every time, "Do you have the time"....even if they didn't have a watch on.

From practicing my body language and leaning away from the individual when asking for the time, subconsciously, i myself felt like I didn't want to talk to the person because of my body language. I can now see how the other person can get the impression that you are just a passing stranger asking a simple question. My next mission is to practice more on body language and approaching, but on girls around my age. Also, instead of asking an AFC question like for the time, asking for their opinion on something and MAYBE, just MAYBE I will throw in a neg. Every time I go out, I feel like I get more and more confidence when approaching. This is a very SLOW step in the right direction, but nonetheless, a step in the right direction.

You are the simple stanger asking a question. You are the happy, socialable person who just likes to chat people up. Any agenda you might have to fuck one of these chicks is way down on the list below being a happy, socialble, talkative, interesting person just enjoying their day.

Frame control is so important, and as it pertains to AA, get yourself thinking about those nights when you were a walking GOD... everything you said had people laughing their asses off or thinking about how they want to improve the world... you were witty, interesting, the whole room knew who you were. Remember those nights -- control your frame -- and your body will follow.

You're too worried about negs, man. They're mostly for night game when the bitch shield is in full effect.