Thanks guys for all the great input.
Grimm, I think you're 100% right. I think the way to deal with this was to reframe her as the one trying to get me to select her, thus making her the one pursuing me. I think that would have been the most successful tactic to take.
I think Welsh's would work just as well, but that's not really my style.
The thing is that I've been presented with situations like this before with women and reacted completely differently, i.e. I used a method similar to what Grimm outlined. And, it worked.
But, that was a different time. I guess that was when I was more willing to put forth a lot of effort to get women. Could I have eventually pulled her? Possibly. Could I have set up a day 2? Sure, maybe. But, would I want to have to 'convince' someone to do so? Not a chance.
One of the things that I've learned about women is that they do throw out shit tests and they do 'test' your mettle. But, I think women are smart enough to understand how harsh their shit tests should be. I think back to all of the women that I've pulled and how they treated other men that approached them (one of my tests with a girl is to take them to a busy bar, then go to the bathroom and watch from across the room to see how many guys hit on them and how the girl handles herself), and I noticed an interesting trend. The ones that were clearly in to me were complete and utter bitches towards other men.
I'm almost beginning to believe that if a girl is throwing you really tough shit tests, that this is her way of saying leave me alone I'm not interested. Sure, she'll still throw you a shit test if she likes you, but these shit tests are not at all on par with the ones she'll throw a guy she doesn't like.
So, this kind of goes to UncleHOwie's post. The truth is that girls either are into you or they're not. Considering how harsh this shit test was, keep in mind I chatted with her and her friend while in line and was way beyond comfort, I would say she was clearly not into me...maybe she WANTED to be because I was funny and fun and interesting but she just wasn't. Sometimes, some people just feel like home...apparently I did not. So, why waste time fucking around with a girl that clearly was not into me?
In my opinion, the BEST relationships or times I've ever had with women were when the girl I was with was very clearly into me. I'm not one to waste my time with a girl that isn't all that into me...I like my showers to be hot, not lukewarm.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Just thought this was interesting
41 posts
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by Guest » Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:36 pm
[QUOTE=Welsh_Dragon;36497]I don't understand this sentance. How do you lose value with a random girl you will never see again? Why would it matter anyway?
I mean I guess in a text book pickup sense you maybe could lose "value" but in the real world with this kind of day game I think you gain value by being forthright, esp. after her comment(s).[/QUOTE]
You always gain value by being forthright, but if he were going that route, he should have done so from the first words out of his mouth. After the words "you're not my type" come out of her mouth, it's too late. If he tries to go direct at that point, it comes off looking like he is being reactive and trying to save the situation. It does not come across like a sincere expression of desire.
Welsh, it's not that it matters what a random girl thinks of him. But if I read the story right, he was just chatting up a girl he was mildly interested in, and she came out with that BS "you're not my type but you can chase me if you want to."
That's an unrealistic frame. BR should have been assertive and called her out on that bullshit. Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by.
The fact that he walked away just means the set didn't mean much to him, which is fair enough.
I mean I guess in a text book pickup sense you maybe could lose "value" but in the real world with this kind of day game I think you gain value by being forthright, esp. after her comment(s).[/QUOTE]
You always gain value by being forthright, but if he were going that route, he should have done so from the first words out of his mouth. After the words "you're not my type" come out of her mouth, it's too late. If he tries to go direct at that point, it comes off looking like he is being reactive and trying to save the situation. It does not come across like a sincere expression of desire.
Welsh, it's not that it matters what a random girl thinks of him. But if I read the story right, he was just chatting up a girl he was mildly interested in, and she came out with that BS "you're not my type but you can chase me if you want to."
That's an unrealistic frame. BR should have been assertive and called her out on that bullshit. Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by.
The fact that he walked away just means the set didn't mean much to him, which is fair enough.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:46 pm
[QUOTE=grimm1111;36501]You always gain value by being forthright, but if he were going that route, he should have done so from the first words out of his mouth. After the words "you're not my type" come out of her mouth, it's too late. If he tries to go direct at that point, it comes off looking like he is being reactive and trying to save the situation. It does not come across like a sincere expression of desire.
Welsh, it's not that it matters what a random girl thinks of him. But if I read the story right, he was just chatting up a girl he was mildly interested in, and she came out with that BS "you're not my type but you can chase me if you want to."
That's an unrealistic frame. BR should have been assertive and called her out on that bullshit. Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by.
The fact that he walked away just means the set didn't mean much to him, which is fair enough.[/QUOTE]
But he did go direct - he asked for the number. Her response "not my type" was followed by "but .. keep going" so IMO its not too late at all. I think if he # closes at that point there is a fair chance for success. I'd also add a kick back to the "not my type" comment and that should suffice. It's not chasing at all, just reading the response and following through.
If she had said "not my type" and left it at that then I would agree. Of course this is all totally subjective since neither of us were present to see the interaction nor accompanying BL.
"Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by"
Trust me I never do.
Welsh, it's not that it matters what a random girl thinks of him. But if I read the story right, he was just chatting up a girl he was mildly interested in, and she came out with that BS "you're not my type but you can chase me if you want to."
That's an unrealistic frame. BR should have been assertive and called her out on that bullshit. Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by.
The fact that he walked away just means the set didn't mean much to him, which is fair enough.[/QUOTE]
But he did go direct - he asked for the number. Her response "not my type" was followed by "but .. keep going" so IMO its not too late at all. I think if he # closes at that point there is a fair chance for success. I'd also add a kick back to the "not my type" comment and that should suffice. It's not chasing at all, just reading the response and following through.
If she had said "not my type" and left it at that then I would agree. Of course this is all totally subjective since neither of us were present to see the interaction nor accompanying BL.
"Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by"
Trust me I never do.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:12 pm
[QUOTE=Welsh_Dragon;36504]But he did go direct - he asked for the number. Her response "not my type" was followed by "but .. keep going" so IMO its not too late at all. I think if he # closes at that point there is a fair chance for success. I'd also add a kick back to the "not my type" comment and that should suffice. It's not chasing at all, just reading the response and following through.
If she had said "not my type" and left it at that then I would agree. Of course this is all totally subjective since neither of us were present to see the interaction nor accompanying BL.
"Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by"
Trust me I never do.[/QUOTE]
Yes he did switch to direct, probably out of boredom, and then he got massively shit tested when he made his move. Who's to say if the cart came before the horse on that one.
What I mean is if he had gone direct from the opening bell, it would have started like "Hi, you look cute I want to meet you, I'm BR." Direct statement of what you're after. Then that shit test doesn't happen to begin with. You may have other problems, but not that shit test.
But from the point after she threw up that bad frame, his best answer was to take it back I think.
But, if you're saying that he should have just ignored her comment altogether, and basically taken the position where he is assuming that she's said yes, I think that's a pretty good way to go too.
If she had said "not my type" and left it at that then I would agree. Of course this is all totally subjective since neither of us were present to see the interaction nor accompanying BL.
"Never let anyone set the rules that you need to play by"
Trust me I never do.[/QUOTE]
Yes he did switch to direct, probably out of boredom, and then he got massively shit tested when he made his move. Who's to say if the cart came before the horse on that one.
What I mean is if he had gone direct from the opening bell, it would have started like "Hi, you look cute I want to meet you, I'm BR." Direct statement of what you're after. Then that shit test doesn't happen to begin with. You may have other problems, but not that shit test.
But from the point after she threw up that bad frame, his best answer was to take it back I think.
But, if you're saying that he should have just ignored her comment altogether, and basically taken the position where he is assuming that she's said yes, I think that's a pretty good way to go too.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:42 pm
[QUOTE=grimm1111;36505]Yes he did switch to direct, probably out of boredom, and then he got massively shit tested when he made his move. Who's to say if the cart came before the horse on that one.
What I mean is if he had gone direct from the opening bell, it would have started like "Hi, you look cute I want to meet you, I'm BR." Direct statement of what you're after. Then that shit test doesn't happen to begin with. You may have other problems, but not that shit test.
But from the point after she threw up that bad frame, his best answer was to take it back I think.
But, if you're saying that he should have just ignored her comment altogether, and basically taken the position where he is assuming that she's said yes, I think that's a pretty good way to go too.[/QUOTE]
I don't like the "direct" right up and at them with "Hi I like you ...". To me that is a little desparate and creepy and, in a girl's mind, why do you like me before we even spoke for 5 minutes?
I definitely think the quick chat (as it seemed to be here) then #close is a good way to go. Happens all the time at 2am outside bar time. Also you may well get the HB Subway: "Oh, what? Well, you're totally not my type." kind of meaningless girl talk (dependent on factors) AKA "I have a BF"and many others esp. from 9/10. If it is immediately followed by "But, you seem funny and interesting, so convince to keep chatting with you." then to me that is actually a green light. So yes - I would assume we are good and push back something rather direct thereby forcing her to make a choice.
I can tell more from BL also so that is another very important factor.
What I mean is if he had gone direct from the opening bell, it would have started like "Hi, you look cute I want to meet you, I'm BR." Direct statement of what you're after. Then that shit test doesn't happen to begin with. You may have other problems, but not that shit test.
But from the point after she threw up that bad frame, his best answer was to take it back I think.
But, if you're saying that he should have just ignored her comment altogether, and basically taken the position where he is assuming that she's said yes, I think that's a pretty good way to go too.[/QUOTE]
I don't like the "direct" right up and at them with "Hi I like you ...". To me that is a little desparate and creepy and, in a girl's mind, why do you like me before we even spoke for 5 minutes?
I definitely think the quick chat (as it seemed to be here) then #close is a good way to go. Happens all the time at 2am outside bar time. Also you may well get the HB Subway: "Oh, what? Well, you're totally not my type." kind of meaningless girl talk (dependent on factors) AKA "I have a BF"and many others esp. from 9/10. If it is immediately followed by "But, you seem funny and interesting, so convince to keep chatting with you." then to me that is actually a green light. So yes - I would assume we are good and push back something rather direct thereby forcing her to make a choice.
I can tell more from BL also so that is another very important factor.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:44 pm
[QUOTE=Welsh_Dragon;36507]I don't like the "direct" right up and at them with "Hi I like you ...". To me that is a little desparate and creepy and, in a girl's mind, why do you like me before we even spoke for 5 minutes?
I definitely think the quick chat (as it seemed to be here) then #close is a good way to go. Happens all the time at 2am outside bar time. Also you may well get the HB Subway: "Oh, what? Well, you're totally not my type." kind of meaningless girl talk (dependent on factors) AKA "I have a BF"and many others esp. from 9/10. If it is immediately followed by "But, you seem funny and interesting, so convince to keep chatting with you." then to me that is actually a green light. So yes - I would assume we are good and push back something rather direct thereby forcing her to make a choice.
I can tell more from BL also so that is another very important factor.[/QUOTE]
Whatever works for you, more power to you. Cheers and good luck out there.
I definitely think the quick chat (as it seemed to be here) then #close is a good way to go. Happens all the time at 2am outside bar time. Also you may well get the HB Subway: "Oh, what? Well, you're totally not my type." kind of meaningless girl talk (dependent on factors) AKA "I have a BF"and many others esp. from 9/10. If it is immediately followed by "But, you seem funny and interesting, so convince to keep chatting with you." then to me that is actually a green light. So yes - I would assume we are good and push back something rather direct thereby forcing her to make a choice.
I can tell more from BL also so that is another very important factor.[/QUOTE]
Whatever works for you, more power to you. Cheers and good luck out there.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:10 am
[QUOTE=grimm1111;36505]Yes he did switch to direct, probably out of boredom, and then he got massively shit tested when he made his move. Who's to say if the cart came before the horse on that one.[/QUOTE]
He could have gotten shit tested because his reason for switching to direct was not convincing enough and the jump was too big. "You seem like a cool girl" doesn't seem significant enough to advance to a number exchange. The results might have been different if the reason was more about her unique self, like "I really like how you have a positive, playful energy," or the jump was smaller, like "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes and get to know more about you," or both.
I noticed something in Bishop's journal (speed seduction) that he likes to say, "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes," and when she says yes, he says, "I didn't mean now. I have someplace I need to be. How about tomorrow?" Because she already said yes, it's only natural to exchange numbers to follow through. It seems like that could have worked in this instance.
He could have gotten shit tested because his reason for switching to direct was not convincing enough and the jump was too big. "You seem like a cool girl" doesn't seem significant enough to advance to a number exchange. The results might have been different if the reason was more about her unique self, like "I really like how you have a positive, playful energy," or the jump was smaller, like "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes and get to know more about you," or both.
I noticed something in Bishop's journal (speed seduction) that he likes to say, "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes," and when she says yes, he says, "I didn't mean now. I have someplace I need to be. How about tomorrow?" Because she already said yes, it's only natural to exchange numbers to follow through. It seems like that could have worked in this instance.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:57 pm
[QUOTE=Rhody;36517]
I noticed something in Bishop's journal (speed seduction) that he likes to say, "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes," and when she says yes, he says, "I didn't mean now. I have someplace I need to be. How about tomorrow?" Because she already said yes, it's only natural to exchange numbers to follow through. It seems like that could have worked in this instance.[/QUOTE]
That is actually extremely good.
If she answers well I am really busy right now, you can still answer with "I didn't mean now" and say you are busy or have to run. It still gives you a great way to #close even if she is rejecting or actually busy.
I noticed something in Bishop's journal (speed seduction) that he likes to say, "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes," and when she says yes, he says, "I didn't mean now. I have someplace I need to be. How about tomorrow?" Because she already said yes, it's only natural to exchange numbers to follow through. It seems like that could have worked in this instance.[/QUOTE]
That is actually extremely good.
If she answers well I am really busy right now, you can still answer with "I didn't mean now" and say you are busy or have to run. It still gives you a great way to #close even if she is rejecting or actually busy.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:01 pm
[QUOTE=Rhody;36517]He could have gotten shit tested because his reason for switching to direct was not convincing enough and the jump was too big. "You seem like a cool girl" doesn't seem significant enough to advance to a number exchange. The results might have been different if the reason was more about her unique self, like "I really like how you have a positive, playful energy," or the jump was smaller, like "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes and get to know more about you," or both.
I noticed something in Bishop's journal (speed seduction) that he likes to say, "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes," and when she says yes, he says, "I didn't mean now. I have someplace I need to be. How about tomorrow?" Because she already said yes, it's only natural to exchange numbers to follow through. It seems like that could have worked in this instance.[/QUOTE]
He does this as a number close in the middle of a set or as an opener?
I noticed something in Bishop's journal (speed seduction) that he likes to say, "I would like to sit down and talk to you for a few minutes," and when she says yes, he says, "I didn't mean now. I have someplace I need to be. How about tomorrow?" Because she already said yes, it's only natural to exchange numbers to follow through. It seems like that could have worked in this instance.[/QUOTE]
He does this as a number close in the middle of a set or as an opener?
- Guest
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