Bar hopping in FW

[H_Raja]

I'm not much for remembering details of a sarge, but I went out with Syler to the Library, Pour house, city streets, and 8 0. I have a tendency to get nervous as hell during the night as compared to the day so I didn't open the first set at the Lib. But I was pushed into a couple of sets and tried to open them. Overall I opened about 8-9 sets that night. A recurring problem is that I am not able to engage a girl for very long, rarely more than a couple of minutes. I did manage to seat myself in one set but that wasn't going anywhere.

Sample convo: I'm trying two openers.

Me: Who lies more?/What's your name?
HB: Why are you asking this?/Her name.
Me: What do you do for a living?
HB: Blah blah.
Me: Interesting, I do ___. How did you get involved in ___.
HB: Because blah.
Convo dead. Me out.

After the night was over, went over to syler's place where there were two girls, one who was his ltr. Just worked on being more comfortable around women and a relaxed vibe.

[deafukraini]

You're doing well as that you at least opened the sets. That's a big breaking point, however, you lack hereof stories. You need to somehow attract her. I would not compliment on her things because it just doesn't really attract her throughout. Like you said, interesting blah blah. If the conversation dies down, then say "Hey guess what..." and leave a pause in there then you leave or say something c&f.

Just throw a new thread in... like a story that shows your values subconsciously to her. Just banter.

Finally, keep the good work up. You will eventually get there if you work hard enough.

[Kalop]

Dude.. no offense, but your openers suck. Are these chicks hot? If they are.. no wonder ... they get the resume questions a million times.... your coming across like the 10th chump who's hit on her that day. Whats your name... what do you do for a living... my name is ... I do... you think she cares what you do and your name at this point?

Back to the drawing board for your openers... congrats on the balls for openig that many sets !!

[Vector]

Perhaps try to make it more about yourself. If you act too curious before you have reason to be curious, she'll be suspicious of a hidden motive. If she senses you're forcing a conversation, she will deliberately give you crappy answers that you can't hook on. It's a social violation to not answer at all, but it's alright to give a really crappy answer, so that's what she does.

Volunteer something about yourself. It can be a complete non sequitur. Volunteer something that exposes something about yourself, and she'll feel like she has to contribute in kind (somewhat of a social violation if she doesn't).

"I" statements can have the same effect as asking questions, but the vibe is completely different because you're not pumping for information. You will actually get more out of her if you use "I" statements in place of questions.

Eventually you can ask questions about her, but only after she has given you good reason to be interested. You have to have your own hook point. Until then, use lots of statements and eventually she will give you something unique or interesting that you can legitimately appreciate.

[Finesse]

as Kalop said: "Congrats on the balls for opening that many sets."

Now to add something new. It sounds to me like you don't have the proper inner game going on. From what you said I'm assuming your body language was akward.

What I would recommend you do is exactly what you did at the end of the night. I would recommend you open up your next 24 sets with only "Hi!"

I think that, that would help get your inner game/body language in check, and once you do get you inner game in check, it won't really matter what you open with.

You have the right idea. You need to get comfortable around women. But how can you get comfortable with yourself being around women if you're constantly being a routine, or something else somebody made up. Routines are excellent, but you have to have a little inner game first. Confidence comes with success, but learning comes with asking questions. So to learn and gain success you'll have to mess up a few times.

Hope this helps.

[Sylar]

Overall Raja, It was a great night!!! And it was great to hang out and sarge with someone who has the same goals as i.

When i met Raja outside of Library, we discussed night game for a min which gave us our objective for the night - "Open Sets"

Which we did!! Finesse gives some really good advice... We both know what r sticking points are, all we have to do is work at them...

I Opened 12 sets, which all but 2 went really good using the same opener...

For example

Library --- We walk in, the vibe is "Relaxed." We walk up to the bar and order a drink. To the right of me is a good looking woman, good shape and well dressed 7.5. Time to open! I Turn Slightly,

Me - "Quick Question - Who lies more----
Hb - Men!!!
Me - "Really!!!" Now im smiling - "How come?"
Hb - Now she smiles "bcause i was married to one!!"
Me - Smiling and Laughing "Im so sorry, we suck dont we?" I give her a hug and i dont give her the opportunity to answer. I then ask
"So whats the special occasion tonight?"
Hb - "My divorce!"
Me - "If there was ever an occasion to celebrate, that would be one"
Hb - Laughing!!

Then I find out who she is with, friend and a guy. i meet them, then I introduce Raja. Then into small talk... I find out what they have planned for the night and plan on meeting later...
We move on

Most of my sets went the same way, using the same Opener... Its not all about the opener, "but the response and body language that matters."

Overall Raja, it was a good night!!! We just have to keep going out...

And the after party Rocked!! lol

[H_Raja]

Wow. Excellent advice from deafukraini, Kalop, Vector, and Finesse. I know Sylar has good body language since sets open readily for him, I'll have to mimic. Another thing I should work on is better social proofing to work our way into more HB8+ sets.
It was a great night though, overall for us. I had a chance to work on my nightgame, which is in much need of improvement. And a cool afterparty which gave me the chance to get more comfortable around women in general.

[foresight]

I'm not much for remembering details of a sarge, but I went out with Syler to the Library, Pour house, city streets, and 8 0. I have a tendency to get nervous as hell during the night as compared to the day so I didn't open the first set at the Lib. But I was pushed into a couple of sets and tried to open them. Overall I opened about 8-9 sets that night. A recurring problem is that I am not able to engage a girl for very long, rarely more than a couple of minutes. I did manage to seat myself in one set but that wasn't going anywhere.

Sample convo: I'm trying two openers.

Me: Who lies more?/What's your name?
HB: Why are you asking this?/Her name.
Me: What do you do for a living?
HB: Blah blah.
Me: Interesting, I do ___. How did you get involved in ___.
HB: Because blah.
Convo dead. Me out.

After the night was over, went over to syler's place where there were two girls, one who was his ltr. Just worked on being more comfortable around women and a relaxed vibe.

I have trouble with the stories too. One thing I have learned is don't ask her name. Let her ask you yours after you have opened and said something interesting. You can take that as an IOI at that point. Then follow the next steps. Get some openers. The, who lies more sounds like a good one. Play off of what she says if she gives you any ammo.

[Solace]

I was at the library saturday night, but i was stuck in set with a convenient broad from our party bus. regardless, you cant expect the opener to work magic. All you want is to break the ice and drop the hook. Then you move on to a story or a compliment/neg, or even (if you believe your social value to be high enough) introduce yourself and your wing. If you get nervous as you know your running out of material then the energy will drop too quick and then you get put in the hotseat as their expecting more out of you. PACE ur material and silence is okay, they will re-engage you or you just persist with ur body language.