Then this cute black chick comes up who works there and opens me. I ask her what the pink back massager is.
HB7: That's a back massager
AX: You're not fooling me, I know what you girls use that for.
I isolate her and her BT is spiked super high...I can tell she wants to do something right there. In retrospect I could have isolated her to a fitting room and fucked her. Instead her interest started to die down and I #-closed her. Goddammit. She is 16.
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I roll into a place called Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger!. Super cute 17 yr old hostess, I game her and out-alpha her co-worker, befriend him. She has AD-fucking-D and is bouncing off the walls. I tease her, kino her, start doing my eccentric routine--which by the way, is a great sheild for any behavior you do that is outside of social norms....the girl will think "eccentric" instead of "wierd" This is the most solid close of the evening, and I really want to fuck this girl.
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Starbucks. Two super cute girls. I get an approach inviation. I say "Hi", order my tea, then go join them. They're freshmen. But they go to a christian school, and are goody christian girls (goddamn it).
The brunette looks just like a younger version of my oneitus, which makes me precieve her as being much more attractive. I totally want to fuck this girl. In the process of #-closing they mention they're in High School. WTF? I learn they're freshmen IN HIGH SCHOOL. They look older than the aformentioned targets, but they are 14.
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Go to a comedy club. I'm wearing a Fedora...and so is the comedian on stage. He mentions he loves my hat. Later, I get amog'd by one of the comedians, a hyper-active fellow that looks like Beaker from the Muppits.
Beaker Guy: I love this guy's hat. He looks like a combination of Micheal Jackson & Harry Potter.
AX: You should switch to De-caff.
There are 3 fucking batchelorette parties there. They all get up on stage. One is a fatass, one is a midly attractive slut with glowing plastic penises in her hair. The 3rd is a creature of pure beauty. Short petite, A or B cups. Perfect body, a ginueine 10. I think to myself I wish I had the skill to pull her.
Afterwards, I stop by the comdian stand where they're selling their CDs and what not.
I talk to the Fedora guy, ask how they get started, tell him my friends all tell me I should be a comedian. We talk. The ultra hot Batchelorette girl and her friends, all of whom are wearing cheap martigras masks, pull the Fedora comedian in and start taking their picture with him...an HB on each side. The guy is *so* happy they are showing interest. It's time for the PUA to act.
AX: Did you guys get those things out of a crakerjack box?
HBs: Blah blah! (kino)
The masks all say something like "sexy, flirt, wild"
AX: (to the one not wearing a mask): You don't have one, are you not cool enough to have a mask of your own.
HB: Mine broke, IOI, IOI.
AX: Do you guys want to get a picture taken with me?
HBs: Yes
They get on each side of me, I tell HBbatchellorette & HB blonde8 to kiss me on the cheek, they do without hesitation.
AX (to HBBlonde8): Cool. But next time, try not to grab my ass, okay?
She grabs my ass.
AX: No! No, no, no, bad girl!
She grabs my ass.
AX: If you do that again I am going to have to spank you.
She grabs my ass hard. I spank her.
She turns around and bends over. "Spank me again she says"
AX: Don't get greedy.
HBBatchelorette sticks her ass right up against me. "Spank me now".
I do..hard. She likes it. She has a goddess-like ass. Now the other girls want to get their picture taken with me. I pull in the one that is silent & feels left out (this is key because she would have been a cockblock, but instead I make her feel included, and she loves me).
They both kiss me and grab my ass.
At this point, all 3 comedians are speechless. I hear one ask another quite loudly "How is he doing this!?" I ignore the comment as if this happens all the time to me, which drives the women wild.
At this point I turned into a total pussy.
I perhaps could have fucked the batchelorette. Tell them I'm the male stripper her friends paid for, and ask where the after party is. I was in. Instead, I turn into a total douchebag, and stop escelating.
I number-closed one of the girls. A fucking number when I could have had wild sex with a batchelorette right before her wedding. Cool.
I am such a pussy when it comes to rapid escilation. I feel like what Im doing is so far out of social norms that Im about to get blown out, so I stall, and get a conselation prize.
Afterwards, the comedians kept asking me how I "did that", and telling me I should be a comedian, as I was rifling off some funny material durring the set. All 3 comedians love me.
Oh forgot to mention...at some point in the set, this big black bouncer guy AMOGed by and I countered, disarmed and neutralized him. Beaker was selling boxers that said "Sweet Nuts". I asked the girls about that, and the BBB guy puts his hand on me and says "You've got to have sweet nuts to wear those".
AX (I put my arm around his sholder, dominating him physically): Why? What have you heard?
BBB: Oh, naw man, I'm don't know personally...I just...
AX: Cool man
He remained silent the rest of the set.
